Very small and very sad

[spitfire101]

So hello, yeah I have a very small penis. Fully erect on a good day it is maybe 3 3/4 inches that includes the unfortunate foreskin so realistically maybe 3 ½ inches with no worthy girth. I hate it, it has utterly consumed my thoughts about how shamefully small it is and destroyed any confidence I maybe would have ever had, because I have never had any.

I am 28 and still a virgin, never dated and my lack of confidence has me lowering my head in shame every time a woman walks by, let alone those few times I have to talk to a woman while at work or something. Talking to people in general is painful anymore, I come from a very alpha male level family and I have become the creepy silent one who never talks to anyone and has been skipping more and more family gatherings because I just have nothing worthy of alpha male status. Recently my only friend was left by his girlfriend and was complaining that he was annoyed at all the girls flocking to his newly single status. I got really pissed off by this and just started texting attacks to him telling him to stop complaining when some people would kill to be in his shoes, I will add he is also a guy who in high school frequently bragged about his large penis size.

So I have just basically become a bitter old a-hole that is knocking on the door of 30 and finding myself consumed by fact that I will be alone and never get to enjoy a huge part of life, or life at all. I know people will say "it’s not the size, it’s the person," or stuff like that but has someone who has spent over ten years intensely consumed by internet searches and post regarding small penises and the non-effects, I will say that yeah in the end it matters. The worst stories I have ever seen over the years are those from almost success stories, guys with small penises who have married but after years of being married, kids and things, the wife ends up cheating or leaving because he cannot satisfy her. I have found a lot of stories over the years like that and it has left me just realizing that in the end size does matter. Anyway if anyone has any real words of wisdom or maybe just let me know if I am really doomed I would like to hear it all because this is the first real time I have ever been able to put words to my problem. Thank you.

[Jessie]

Jeez mate... you are only 2 years behind me... very similar stories.

You are pretty much my size- perhaps a fraction smaller.

I have had mixed success- heard girls belittle smaller guys but also been out with 5 women.

(4 of which were proper relationships)

yes the confidence is hard to muster with a childs penis... I get that and have the accompanying T-shirt

I have missed a few recent family dos and alienated relatives

Size dies matter to many girls, probably the huge majority but I have had messages with girls on this site who said they would have accepted my size.

[wirelan]

Yeah, I know it's hard.

But I don't have the lowering my head in shame bit. In fact, when a woman walks by, I feel like a winner and like to believe I could give her a rocking good time then and there. Maybe it is false, but I like to believe so.

I know my girth is sort of less, but my length of 6.1 inches tends to keep my afloat because I know that the depth of penetration I can gives me a good amount of surface area contact to fully enjoy the experience. You've got to invent your own stories, no one else can do that for you.

Sorry to sound arrogant. Maybe the day I get rejected on the basis of size, I will agree more with you. But I get rejected on so many other grounds, that maybe getting rejected on size would give me a useful distraction from my other problems.

I would still suggest that you try and be happy with what you have in terms of penis, and not try and substitute with personality and other stuff. Live the way nature has intended, don't try to change the rules.

[wirelan]

also, sex has a lot to do with balls and the fucking testosterone, not just dick. I suggest lift weights and stuff so you can lift the woman up with your arms without any effort. That will get her wet like shit.

[Perseverance]

When seeking out information I've noticed if you want to feel like shit you can easily find tons of girls who say size matters.

If you want to feel good you can easily find tons of girls who say size does not matter at all.

So what is it? Are those girls lying to strangers. How do lesbians get by? What about men who become impotent?

I think in my relationships it's split. Some didn't care some wouldn't have minded it being bigger and I only know that because I asked.... Like an idiot.

[Perseverance]

By the way does anyone find my posts useful at all. Sometimes I feel like in wasting my time....?

[malign]

I do, for what it's worth.

All I can say, after years here, is that sometimes it's like pissing into a gale, and sometimes it's like a sunny summer day.

Sometimes it's both on the same day.

But anything you can do, anything anyone can do, makes a difference. Even if we never know what it is.

[wirelan]

Yeah, Perseverance. Your posts are kinda ok even if a bit intimidating.

[wirelan]

yeah i mean ther are many ways of enjoying a sexual experience. i think by the far the highest category is to have the woman clamp around your dick and throb against it.

but to me, even the experience of kissing or holding my naked body against hers is something great.

[spitfire101]

Perseverance, thing I should have made clear was that I have spent most of my life trying to make this issue not matter. Yeah if I wanted to find girls saying size matters then that is all I will find but I have spent more time finding ones that say size does not matter. What do I find? Most of the time, size does not matter, at about 5 inches, that is 1 ½ inches more than I got. So yes size does not matter when talking about average or just below average. I have never tried making myself feel like shit, most of time it is just an unfortunate side effect from trying to feel better. How do lesbians get by? They buy toys. How do impotent guys get by? They buy viagra. How do guys with very small penises make do? They get surgery that mutilates their penis beyond proper working, they buy toys and still feel like less of a man because they are doing their woman third person. Trust me when I say I am not a person to just start saying crap without the proper amount of time spent looking at all angles and I have been on this issue for a very very long time.

[wirelan]

i agree about the toys part. you would want the woman to feel what is attached to your own body and find happiness in it.

the discussion about lesbians and stuff is totally irrelevant.

i think the best advice to you would be to enjoy oral sex.

[Guest]

My bf's sister is a lesbian, not hot or attractive in the slightest just in terms of what women are suppose to look like. She is just a dude with out a penis in my opinion she has just as much, if not more trouble then most guys. People think she is a guy then they find out she's not and everything goes down hill. She is alone and it's sad the most thing that is a turn off for her is she is so negative about herself, that is the worst thing. Like trying to sell a car and telling all the bad stuff about it and not mentioning any of the good. Men aren't the only one with these kinds of problems women worry about the same kinds of things like boob size or being good in bed... If a girl has tiny boob would you not have sex with her?

[Perseverance]

My bf's sister is a lesbian, not hot or attractive in the slightest just in terms of what women are suppose to look like. She is just a dude with out a penis in my opinion she has just as much, if not more trouble then most guys. People think she is a guy then they find out she's not and everything goes down hill. She is alone and it's sad the most thing that is a turn off for her is she is so negative about herself, that is the worst thing. Like trying to sell a car and telling all the bad stuff about it and not mentioning any of the good. Men aren't the only one with these kinds of problems women worry about the same kinds of things like boob size or being good in bed... If a girl has tiny boob would you not have sex with her?

Small tits turn me on. Actually... All tits turn me on. The best type if breasts are the ones that are willing to be smashed in my face lol. Tits are such a non issue. Big and small are both nice.

[Jessie]

my preference is small boobs.

If a girl has zero boobs, smallish, medium, largish, huge - well they are all fine.

I would probably find MEGA big or VERY droopy a turn off.... but even then if I fancied the rest of her I likely wouldnt mind.

spit fire- yes thats my experience too- I have spent many years trying to find reassuring stuff in magazines and internet.... hasnt worked out too well..

[Perseverance]

I'm probably going to have sex tonight and like eveytime... I'm going to fuck her like its my last day on earth. All I can hope for is that she orgasms and if not hope she sees the amount of effort I put into it hopefully it will count for something. Im like Barry Sanders in bed... Trying to make something happen out of a shitty situation. Lol

If you didn't watch football in the 90's that joke is not for you.

Eh, I'm trying my best.

Btw I bought her a toy and in two months she hasn't used it once. Waste of money.

[wirelan]

let us know if you make her orgasm. we'll send you a virtual beer.

[u.r.what.u.is]

Spitfire, my best advice is to just try to get what you can, sexually. Don't pack it in and sit on the sidelines. Certainly, expect to encounter some rejection over size so you don't get hopes dashed too often. I have read in this forum and elsewhere that men with your same penis size are successful with the right women, though it will take some hard work or a good stroke of luck. In all cases, these guys have wrestled with their self-perception and have decided they have something to offer, so they have cultivated what looks like an almost miraculous confidence.

I realize that I have a larger penis than your own, so I can't say I'm in the exact same boat. But again, I think some of the guys in your boat are doing the best they can, and it IS something worthwhile. I hope you can fight your way there and stay there.

PS - I shied away from sex all the way through my twenties, mainly out of lack of confidence over what I thought was a tiny dick (5" erect. My libido was in full gear of course, making me miserable. I realize now that I could have gotten laid and had good relationships with any of a few dozen women I knew in those days if only I had dared to try. I had green lights all the way, and just didn't GO. I think you could have at least some of those opportunities too.

[spitfire101]

u.r.what.u.is, thank you, your words helped. That is what I have done through my twenties, sit on the sidelines and not get out there. So now there is also a crushing loss of time that I can never get back because I was so consumed with this matter. I unfortunately did not stay in contact with any friends after high school, most people tell me friends are the best way to go out and meet women so not having any friends I don’t really have a way to meet women. I always depended too much on friends when I was younger and was also far more confidant when with friends that I never learned confidence on my own. So yeah I understand that just getting out there and finding someone that will not care is what I have to do but unfortunately I lack the skills to understand how to do that and I seem to be getting worse as I get older.

[Jessie]

speed dating.

you will get better at talking and will get dates.

avoid conventionally attractive girls or girls in revealing clothes.

worth a try

[u.r.what.u.is]

You are still young, spitfire, definitely not too late to get on the game, so to speak. I didn't really start until my 40s, and I'm glad I didn't wait any longer. If you're like myself, you might think that you have no "right" to even be out there, but screw that, you are human like everyone.

Now along with penis size, which is of varying importance to individual women, there is also your whole physical self. I have come to realize that women get turned on if they can tell that you're taking care of yourself. I am in decent shape for my age, and that has helped...women have told me directly that they like my whole body, including the relatively modest sexual equipment.

[newguy]

I'm probably going to have sex tonight and like eveytime... I'm going to fuck her like its my last day on earth. All I can hope for is that she orgasms and if not hope she sees the amount of effort I put into it hopefully it will count for something. Im like Barry Sanders in bed... Trying to make something happen out of a shitty situation. Lol

If you didn't watch football in the 90's that joke is not for you.

Eh, I'm trying my best.

Btw I bought her a toy and in two months she hasn't used it once. Waste of money.

How do you do it?? When a girl fines out my size she runs for the hills end of full stop out of the 100s of girls since i was 16 only one has stayed lol for a night

[Perseverance]

How do you do it?? When a girl fines out my size she runs for the hills end of full stop out of the 100s of girls since i was 16 only one has stayed lol for a night

Then you're doing something wrong that has nothing to do with your penis. I've said this before my one friend is smaller than me. He's got a very cute gf himself been together for a while. They're happy with each other. It's not like a girl being with a small guy is non existent. How else are these genes passed on lol?

Guys care obviously WAY more than women do.

[u.r.what.u.is]

Guys care obviously WAY more than women do.

I am really beginning to believe this. My partners have been more like "WTF" than anything when I have told them that I harbored any insecurity over penis size. I have 5, you have 4 1/2, with the same experience. Your friend is smaller than you, and also successful. Maybe we're on the lucky side, I don;t know, but I do think we men care more than the women do.

[Perseverance]

I am really beginning to believe this. My partners have been more like "WTF" than anything when I have told them that I harbored any insecurity over penis size. I have 5, you have 4 1/2, with the same experience. Your friend is smaller than you, and also successful. Maybe we're on the lucky side, I don;t know, but I do think we men care more than the women do.

Of course we do. I dont think its a secret. I have good sex with my gf. I don't strive for good though. I want her to have mind blowing sex. Maybe it's not realistic, maybe it's also not even necessary. My gf says I put way too much pressure on myself in all aspects of my life. This is no different. Can't even stop and smell the roses when you always feel like you're under the gun. If that makes any sense.

Positions also help a lot when you know which ones work the best.

[u.r.what.u.is]

Of course we do. I dont think its a secret. I have good sex with my gf. I don't strive for good though. I want her to have mind blowing sex. Maybe it's not realistic, maybe it's also not even necessary. My gf says I put way too much pressure on myself in all aspects of my life. This is no different. Can't even stop and smell the roses when you always feel like you're under the gun. If that makes any sense.

Positions also help a lot when you know which ones work the best.

Yes, I have read your enthusiastic posts about your enjoyment of sex and I whole-heartedly agree. I'll be up to bat again with my fantastic GF tomorrow evening. I can't wait to drive her crazy as payback for the wonderful treatment I got this past weekend. I hope at least a few of the guys here who don't have this in their life will find it. They/we deserve it.