can some listen or please help

[kaila016]

i will share a little about myself so maybe anyone who sees this can understand a little better or help me out.

Im an 17 year old girl from CA.

My parents marriage was full of fighting, screaming, hitting and hate. They separated 2 years ago due to my dads affair, my moms mental issues, and her getting a DUI and totaling her car. She also had a very high paying job which she lost after her constant drinking. My dad, sister and I moved in with his girlfriend and her 3 kids only months after my mom moved out. I was okay with this because at the time his girlfriend was a great mother figure to me as my mom hadn't. Everything in my life was changing.

My dad and I spent less time together because of his new girlfriend and I was not seeing a lot of my mom. My alcohol and drug problem got worse at that time, not helping anything. We have had money problems because my mom has not paid any child support so my sister and I relied on my dads girlfriend to provide, which I am very thankful of. My relationship with my mom over the years has gotten much better and I enjoy seeing her. My dad and his girlfriend take offense to this and get mad when my sister and I see her because we "enable" her to not pay child support and allow her to "be a loser." After 2.5 years my parents have not been able to divorce and are still in court arguing over money. I don't think I should sacrifice my relationship with my mom because they cannot agree. But to them I am selfish. I have terrible anxiety and have been to therapy but we don't have the money to do anything about it. That and what I think is minor depression are so hard for me to deal with. With work and school, responsibilities at home, fighting parents, my mom seeming to not want to support me, a downward spiral of a relationship I have with my dad, and my dads girlfriend and kids seeming to not want my sister and I apart of their family. I am constantly thinking I am alone and don't want to be apart of this world anymore. I seem to try but all I get in return is shit. I try to be optimistic but it is so hard when nothing ever turns out okay for me and my family. I'm hopeless.

if anyone can give me any insight at all or just comment about how they feel, you have no idea how appreciative I would be

[patient]

i read your post. i don't know what you should do. but i answered to say that i'm really sorry for the problem you have. i know how serious it is for a teenager to have a good relationship with his parents and how painful it is. i hope you can find a solution very soon. and someone can help you feel better

and i think it is a good point that you are seeking for help. it shows that there is still some hope inside you and this hope will help you. just never ever give up

[Victimorthecrime]

Try to stay out of the crossfire, seek a qualified counselor for advice. Maybe get away from all of them when you turn 18 if you have the personality for independence.