How do you react when a partner laugh at you?

[Jeep]

.

[semikka]

When it happened to me at 17 when I almost lost my virginity to a girl who I thought was nice. She turned evil in an instant once I dropped my shorts just laughing and tellling me to leave the words that will forever haunt me in my mind are "have fun staying single your entire life jerkwad because no girls going to take you seriously with that" It pretty much destroyed every ounce of self esteem I had upto then because I knew in hindsight it was going to be this way for my entire life.

Basically in an instant I knew I would never get to properly enjoy women or be able to experience the fun of sex like most other men. For some it may be funny or what not but in reality Its crushing for a man. Needless to say the rest of my highschool years were hell with every creative name with micro or tiny or weenie in it being thrown my way.

[Esruc]

You should have killed her. She does not deserve the life she was given.

[semikka]

You should have killed her. She does not deserve the life she was given.

Yeh f**k her I hope she burns in hell. She was not exactly stacked on her upper body either I wish I could had been cooler and made fun of her small chest.

[IrmaJean]

I appreciate and respect the anger that some of you are feeling, but we don't advocate acts of violence here on the site.

Semikka, would being cruel back really solve anything? I'm sorry that she said hurtful things to you, but why give her so much power?

[semikka]

I appreciate and respect the anger that some of you are feeling, but we don't advocate acts of violence here on the site.

Semikka, would being cruel back really solve anything? I'm sorry that she said hurtful things to you, but why give her so much power?

K sorry.

[malign]

After all, who made her opinion so important? Calling someone "jerkwad" in that context sounds like she had a set of issues of her own that we'll never know about (okay, or care about.) Sounds to me like someone who creates her own unhappiness and thinks it's okay to spread it around. It seems more likely to me that she's the one who'll stay single, or at least stay unhappy, because she carries it around with her.

So it's worth asking ourselves, what are we carrying around and bringing to our next relationship? {And of course, I don't mean body parts.}

[Esruc]

Semikka, would being cruel back really solve anything?

I would have stopped her from hurting another guy in the future.

[IrmaJean]

Ultimately we can't really control what others do, though, wouldn't you agree? Maybe it helps to talk more about your anger?

[newguy]

When it happened to me at 17 when I almost lost my virginity to a girl who I thought was nice. She turned evil in an instant once I dropped my shorts just laughing and tellling me to leave the words that will forever haunt me in my mind are "have fun staying single your entire life jerkwad because no girls going to take you seriously with that" It pretty much destroyed every ounce of self esteem I had upto then because I knew in hindsight it was going to be this way for my entire life.

Basically in an instant I knew I would never get to properly enjoy women or be able to experience the fun of sex like most other men. For some it may be funny or what not but in reality Its crushing for a man. Needless to say the rest of my highschool years were hell with every creative name with micro or tiny or weenie in it being thrown my way.

What size are you?

[ShameOnThem]

I avoided sexual contact for most of my young adult life(15-21) because I feared what Semikka is talking about. More the sharing your penis size with others who'd ridicule you than the rejection aspect. I know pride is an issue I, and many others, deal with in all facets of life. I'm so sorry she did this to you, but I know that I did many cruel/insensitive things when I was young that I regret to this day. Just be glad that you are an adult now and and you can surround yourself with other mature individuals who would never do something so cruel.

Just a vicarious thought, but do you think contacting her now and explaining how deeply she hurt you would make yourself feel better? I know I would really like to go back now that I am older and more mature and apologize to some of the people I said really mean things to(in the hopes of being funny and making others laugh so I could feel good about myself.) in the past.

[LouisZ]

To Shame:

I have often thought about going back to say I'm sorry to those of whom I was mean. But if all it did was to make me feel better, then what good is that? Could I possibly make the other person feel even worse?? Serious question.

Louis

[malign]

Louis, those seem like excellent questions. I just thought I'd give you my opinions, the closest I have to "answers":

If "all it did was to make [you] feel better", that would still be an improvement, wouldn't it? At least, it seems clear that it would be, in the case where it doesn't make them feel worse. Sometimes people have forgotten the things we did to them, or no longer care. If you're still beating yourself up over those things, wouldn't it help you to know that the other person doesn't care?

On the other hand, I suppose it's possible that the other person might feel worse in some way: "re-triggered", as they say, if they were hurt before, or freshly angry, or even guilty because maybe they also did some things they regret, back in the old situation. For an apology to be genuine, the other person has to be allowed to react however they react, though. Their emotions are part of the process too.

But again if the apology is genuine, I tend to believe that you have still made the situation better. It's at least a start of a dialogue about what happened and what can be done about it now.

[ShameOnThem]

Those are good points, and I agree that it could be selfish to assume the other person would benefit from the apology. I think malign is right, too, that if it is done right, only good can come from it.

That's not exactly what I was talking about in this situation, for semikka it would be reversed. He was deeply hurt by this woman, and she has probably completely forgotten about it. Maybe he doesn't approach her looking for an apology(because you can't assume she feels bad) but just looking to make her aware of how she has significantly impacted his life. If he thinks it would be helpful for him to confront that moment from 10+ years ago that he still thinks about to this day with the perpetrator, he should definitely do it. Of course, it only makes sense if it makes semikka feel better, but it's likely that she would feel worse as a result(unless she really is just a heartless person). What I was saying was that if I were in her shoes, I would welcome the chance to finally apologize to those I've hurt if they are still hurt by my actions.

What do you guys think about that scenario?

[semikka]

What size are you?

Sorry it took me so long to get back to this post. What size am I? slightly over 4 inches erect

Also to the guy asking about possibly getting in contact with the girl who hurt me many years ago? yeh I did consider doing that but she apparently has turned into a real scummy piece of work who is married to an ex-con. She is what most men would call "a slag". Contacting her would only bring about more grief as she is the sort who would still be spiteful and immature. Not worth it. I hope she just dies slowly one day is all and I hope I happen to see it. I'd laugh so hard!

[dvnJ22]

she apparently has turned into a real scummy piece of work who is married to an ex-con. She is what most men would call "a slag".

Karma dude...

[newguy]

Sorry it took me so long to get back to this post. What size am I? slightly over 4 inches erect

Also to the guy asking about possibly getting in contact with the girl who hurt me many years ago? yeh I did consider doing that but she apparently has turned into a real scummy piece of work who is married to an ex-con. She is what most men would call "a slag". Contacting her would only bring about more grief as she is the sort who would still be spiteful and immature. Not worth it. I hope she just dies slowly one day is all and I hope I happen to see it. I'd laugh so hard!

I'm 3inches hard, so yeah mostly all the girls laugh at me. I have now developed a short tampa so well let's say I don't date anymore il rather be castrated instead .think if a female did laugh at me again il be locked up for life .just makes me so angry that they think they have the right to laugh at me just for being small ..as you can see I don't date anymore and so much people think I'm.gay but hey nothing I can do when uk girls are calling me small when I tell them I'm 6inches so they no female wants a 3inch simple as that

[Victimorthecrime]

I am not disagreeing w you new guy except that I would not say none because there are women that dislike sex or dislike penetration. Just saying...

[Guest Klingsor]

.

[Jupiter]

The first time I was going to have sex, the girl already knew I was inexperienced and had ridiculed me to other girls but still wanted to have sex with me. When we undressed she put her hand on my penis smirked this massive smirk, looked away in embarassment, and laughed. Since then I can't get that out of my mind if I am ever going to have sex with a girl because I think it will happen again. There was no doubt it was the size she was laughing at, because the next day she said she just wanted to be friends. When asked why, she replied with an embarassed smirk "because you have a small penis"

[Guest glennj]

I am not disagreeing w you new guy except that I would not say none because there are women that dislike sex or dislike penetration. Just saying...

But who wants to be in a relationship with someone who doesn't want to have sex. What's left, the constant nagging and holidays with the in laws. Wonderful.

I've never been laughed at to my face but I've had comments in non sexual situations that stung me. The first was from my mother when I was about 11 or 12. She wasn't being mean but the words were burned into my head.

I've only been naked in front of one woman and we had talked about my size insecurities beforehand so she knew what to expect.

I'm amazed at some of the things you guys are saying about girls laughing at you

I think it's the one thing a lot of guys fear the most. Being laughed at about anything is never very pleasant but being laughed at because of a small penis is the deepest cut. Women know this that's why it's used as an insult or retribution so often.

Says a lot about the character of a lot of women that they would stoop so low.