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Esruc

you know what's funny

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Guest Klingsor

I've read all of Esruc's posts. I wish he wasn't banned. He knew what fucking rage was for sure.

Fucking rage...LOL...that's what you get when you aren't doing any fucking. Wonder if I can persuade them to add that to the DSM?

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The issues of small penis syndrome are completely lost upon most of the world. 100% of women will never know what it's like to be a man who is constantly reminded by society ant potential sexual partners of the importance of masculinity and penis size, and 50% of men don't need to worry about being below average. The remaining 25% remain silent because they don't want to be considered in the bottom 10% because of the stigma. And those of us in the bottom 10% are typically so consumed with self hatred to really make any progress. It's a vicious dynamic.

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You want to know what's funny, Esruc...

I'll tell you what's funny.

It's funny that when you have a physical disability, a handicap, a real inferiority, Society tells you to "Be your own man"..."don't let it bother you"..."act like a fucking man"..."grow some balls"..."don't give a shit"..."stop complaining, it could be worse"..."stop acting like a pussy"..."quit whining"..."it's all in your head"..."don't be an asshole"..."accept yourself"...etc, et al by people who have never walked a day in your shoes and to whom you've never offered any advice whatsoever, when actually all you've ever wanted is someone to commiserate with, not their advice.

It's funny that when life gives you lemons, you're told to make lemonade. Never mind if you've been trying to make lemonade all your life, but you consistently end up with no sugar to put in it. The important thing is that you keep trying. That you must have the RESOLVE of a retarded 8 year old who stubbornly keeps sticking his hand in a scalding pot of water to retrieve his pacifier. THAT'S what counts.

It's funny that when I lash out that I am told by Society that I'm being an asshole, a horrible person, a cunt, a moron, a fuckface, a tosser, idiot, shithead, a dick, twat, pussy, piece of shit, brain-dead, deranged, unhinged, paranoid, stupid, ignorant, deluded, whining, self-centered, feeling sorry for myself, unhelpful, critical, and negative for something that I have every right to be upset about because I've been shortchanged in a way that was no consequence of any consciously bad decision I made. In fact, I've tried to live better and kinder than others because of it, but for nothing.

It's funny that Society suggests that I not let it bother me what other people think of me, that I should stick up for myself, bear myself with dignity. Yet if I attempt to do just that, if I refuse to accept being patronized, if I try to "grow some balls like a man" and assert myself, I am an asshole. I am allowed to "be my own man" so long as I don't impinge on Society's sensibilities, so long as I don't offend anyone's ego. The ego has a right to get angry, I don't, oh fuck no.

***************************

It's absolutely fucking hilarious that I've been told by some that they "refuse to be insulted" that they refuse to be "someone's verbal punching bag". Well guess what? I refuse to accept that I've got a 4" dick, that I'm ugly, that I'm unlucky, that I'm unhealthy, that my parents were abusive and self-abusive pieces of shit, that my dad put my mom in the hospital 5 times and beat the shit out of me, that my dad is in a position of power to threaten his own family with no repercussions, that I spent my middle and high school years taking care of my younger sisters because my mom was out whoring, that I was told in high school by locker room meatheads that I better hope I was a faggot because I'd never be getting pussy and eventually coming to believe it, that I've had sex only 8 times in my life, that I went through college celibate, that women won't even look at me, that no one has ever "desired" me, that I've been dumped by ALL my girlfriends, that I have to work 10x harder than anyone else just to catch the crumbs, that I can't play sports because I'm so clumsy, that I've been called dumb-witted by teachers, that I'm made the punchline of any social situation, that I am so socially anxious that going to the supermarket makes me physically nauseous, that I haven't been able to go anywhere or do anything further than 200 miles away from southeast Oklahoma in 15 years, that I've been forced to watch my youth stolen from me and everybody else have fun while my youth withers, that I'm impotent and can only get off by watching other people have sex, that I have to listen to everyone else bitch about NORMAL problems, and that I am an irremediable failure.

You want to call me a fucking asshole, hypocrites? Fine. I'll be an asshole, and I'll be a goddamn big one. You want to tell me that you "refuse to be insulted"? Fine. I refuse to accept my fucking lot in life by the same baseless right that you refuse to be insulted. You want to tell me that I can "change" any of this through a better attitude? Fine. Tell me and I'll shit daffodils for you the rest of my sorry life. You want to give me an "attitude adjustment"? Fine. Bring your fucking brass balls on, you arrogant cocksucker, I'll give you all you could ever fucking want and more.

I don't want anyone's goddamn pity and I'm way, way past feeling sorry for myself. I know this is me, this is what I've got to look forward to. I won't lie and say it doesn't makes me feel even more like dog shit when I read about guys on here who have absolutely no problems getting pussy, but just wish they had a bigger cock. To someone like me, it's a bit like a guy who's driving a smoking rust bucket with bald tires and no A/C listen to a 22 year old millionaire bitching about how his private jet only has 20 seats and one of his colleagues has a private jet that seats 35 with a tilt option for better sex with women.

But that's okay, I'm not going to be "arrogant" and say you don't have a right to be here. This isn't a forum for failures and generally hopeless cases which is where I should be if one existed. But everyone needs to know that there is a strict difference between the mental and perceptive phenomena of SPS and a truly, prohibitively small penis. And if you don't have a truly small penis, you have no right, absolutely no fucking foundation to tell me to "get over myself" unless you've walked in those shoes.

I have not once given advice to anybody on this forum, never even posted in any other forum except one, and I have made it clear that I am as lost as anyone. Yet I've had the medicine shoved down my fucking throat from day zero minus one.

And don't any of you fucking dare tell me dick size isn't used to establish dominance among human males and sexual dynamics when every one of these dumbass threads turns into testosterone war of wits between males - you only prove my points with glaring clarity. That "all men are brothers" shit wouldn't stick to wet paint. They are if you can prove you're part of the group by not being different like a bunch of fucking apes.

One last thing for all you hypocritical motherfuckers, and you can belittle it or take it however you want. I will spend every dime and all of the motivation I have left to find some way, some vehicle, some institution to show the world just how big of a gaping asshole I am for the shit I've been forced to crawl through and didn't ask for. I don't know how and I don't know when, but I'm going to do everything possible to make sure Society is shown up for the inhuman, disgusting, hypocritical, contradictory, obnoxious parody that it is, and when I do, some of you had better pray that I don't ever find out who you really are behind this fucking screen because I am going to make it last for months.

that turned me on a bit

especially the last, part. I sincerely wish you luck in your quest to show the true side of what society has become

if i was in your shoes i probably would have killed myself long ago (not due to the penis size, just all the shit youve been thru). you are one tough cookie

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