Parents...

[marijack]

Hi everyone

My issue is not a serious one, but it's bothering me enough that I need to ask advice and opinions.

I am 31 and Portuguese and living at home with my parents. I also work with them. Yes, a traditional European thing to do, I know.

The problem is this: I've been working for my parents for almost 5 years now. For the past few months, they have been working on my nerves so much that I end up snapping at them for every little thing they say or do. I get really irritated and annoyed at them and I end up feeling like a horrible person for treating them like that when they have given me so much.

For the record, because they have always given me so much, I always feel indebted to them and this gives me no sense of self-being. I feel like I am living my life only to make them happy and proud of me. I am in a long-term relationship and my partner has gotten over the fact that everything basically revolves around what my parents would think.

Is it just me or am I becoming resentful of them for making me depend on them so much? Can anyone really make you that dependant on them?

I don't know if I should move out or find another job but at the moment, the financial situation is not that grand so this would seriously put a huge strain on me.

I almost feel like they are controlling everything I do subconsiously and I'm tired of it. The only, very real, problem is that I have no idea how to break away and start living my own life. I am also scared that, at the age of 31, I now have to go on the journey I should have gone on in my late teens. That of discovering who I am.

Any feedback and opinions would be appreciated.

Thanks

[IrmaJean]

Hi Marijack. Good to hear from you.

Could you and your partner possibly get a place together? I don't know if that's feasible or something you'd both want, but it could help with bills.

I hear you that it feels scary going out on your own. Do you think that fear is what has been holding you back?

Self-discovery can be a lifelong adventure, I think. It has been for me. I'm still learning new things about myself at age 45. Maybe the journey could be positive and enlightening for you?

Best wishes to you.