Jump to content
Mental Support Community
ba51th

how to cure femdom fetish?

Recommended Posts

ba51th,

Is femdom when the female dominates the male?

If it is, I honestly don't see anything wrong with wanting to be dominated by a woman.

As long, of course, as this does not involve causing harmful pain to yourself or others, and as long as it involves mature, consenting adults, then you're fine.

Have a great day!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

yes I like the idea when woman dominate me with her love, with her touch, with her passion and with her lust, but...

many dominant women are polygamous while I'm a monogamous...

many femdom are sexist, love of the idea to enslave men like animals as a pet, the most extreme one that I ever discover they believe they have the right to kill men after having sex like black widow spider...

just like I said before in another topic, I have a porn blog on tumblr. I filled it wih femdom stuff. I only reblog the kind romantic tender femdom, it's easy to find romantic content from male dominance, but it's hard to find romantic content from female dominance, it feels like while dominant men busy hugging their women, dominant women busy whipping their men...

yes, I like femdom but hate femdom at the same time... yes, I love the idea when a woman dominate me, but knowing that I'm nothing but a slave, a pet and she will looking for another men, it hurt my heart so much... and I don't want to get hurt...

if there is "nothing wrong" with that...

then, let me change the question...

how to change my sexual preference?

or

how to make myself no longer interested with women, with sex, with romantic things, with relationship, so I will never think about woman, sex, porn, romantic things and relationship so I no longer have a need for those things?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Yes, I do not see anything wrong with wanting a woman to be the dominant partner in the relationship.

Regarding sexual matters, it is perfectly understandable that you do not like to be whipped, experience BDSM torture! I certainly would not like that!

The woman who said to you that she would like to kill men after sexually dominating them like a black widow...I think she needs psychological help. You cannot kill!

Regarding you wanting to change your sexual preference, I am afraid that is not possible. It is not possible for you to change whom you are sexually attracted to. Many people have tried, but all have failed at trying to do this.

Also, regarding your latter inquiry, I think that it is unrealistic to expect yourself to not be interested in women, sex, and/or romance. An interest in such things is perfectly fine, as long as it does not preoccupy one's life so much to the point where it becomes all the individual thinks about.

In summary, I think that all of your current feelings are perfectly fine and normal. I just think that there are these anxieties that you are experiencing within you that are controlling you, and you do not have to listen to them. And, I am sure that you will find the woman of your desires, do not worry!

Take care!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I saw a scene of pirates of caribbean IV, when the priest take care of the mermaid, trying to protect her... trying to save her... it touch my heart... it feels so deep...

it looks like, whether it's dominant/strong, submissive/weak women... I like both of them...

I like dominant/strong women... because... everytime I see strong women... I want her to care me... to stroke my cheek... my hair... feel helpless, safe and secure in her arms...

I like submissive/weak women... because... everytime I see weak women... somehow... I have an urge to protect her... I want to stay on her side... I want make her feel safe and secure in my arms... I want to sacrifice my life for her...

but still...

no women like small penis...

somebody...

...

...

...

...

just kill me already...

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I wish I hate women so much...

I Wish I Hate Women So Much

I WISH I HATE WOMEN SO MUCH!

I WISH I HATE WOMEN SO MUCH!!!

but...

I love women so much...

I need women so much...

AND IT'S SO FRUSTRATING!!!

so, somebody... I beg of you... I beg of you... I beg of you...

please ...

kill me...

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I think that these thoughts and feelings that you are having about women are obsessive and thus they are unhealthy.

Think about it: So what if you are attracted to submissive women? So what if you are attracted to dominant women? So what if you are attracted to both types of women? Does it really matter in the end? Is the world going to end because you prefer both types of women? Of course it's not, because it's an issue that is so trivial and unimportant to begin with!

You should never consider taking your own life, your life is what matters. Your life and your health are what truly matters, because in the end, those are your two precious gifts to enable you to fulfill a universal purpose, that is, caring for and being kind to and gentle with others, regardless of what species, race, sexual orientation, gender, religion, etc. that they belong to.

In terms of my personal beliefs, you are doing what I call worshipping a false god. You are worshipping a false god, that is, the god of sexual and female preoccupation in your context, and as a result is that this false god is not bringing you benefit, but rather is bringing you harm by causing you to ruminate about it to the point where you start to become suicidal. You should worship the true God, that is, you should live your life by the principles of kindness and care for others and gentleness. It doesn't mean praying or whatever. It just means living a kind, gentle, and compassionate life. Worshipping this false god, it is like an illusion, this false god is trying to control you, and you should turn away from it.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Think about it: So what if you are attracted to submissive women? So what if you are attracted to dominant women? So what if you are attracted to both types of women? Does it really matter in the end? Is the world going to end because you prefer both types of women? Of course it's not, because it's an issue that is so trivial and unimportant to begin with!

I think you failed to analyze whether it is a problem for me or not... somehow you don't know when I stating my problem, or just sharing my thought...

You should never consider taking your own life, your life is what matters. Your life and your health are what truly matters, because in the end, those are your two precious gifts to enable you to fulfill a universal purpose, that is, caring for and being kind to and gentle with others, regardless of what species, race, sexual orientation, gender, religion, etc. that they belong to.

I see no reason to live if I can't be with a woman that I love and love me... I don't care with my life and my health, the precious gift to me is a woman, a woman that I love and she loves me as well...

You are worshipping a false god, that is, the god of sexual and female preoccupation in your context, and as a result is that this false god is not bringing you benefit, but rather is bringing you harm by causing you to ruminate about it to the point where you start to become suicidal.

what can I do... I love her... I need her...

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I'm more like talking with women than men... men only good to have fun with... not for sharing my problem, my feeling... I always more comfortable talking with women, when it comes to share my problem... my feeling... an emotional conversation... only women that can satisfy my heart, my need to share... only women that can comfort me...

I more prefer talking with women for hours rather than talking with men for a minute...

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Hi ba51th,

 

This is what worked for me to cure my femdom fetish. I have posted it in other forums and I'll share it here too:

 

I want to tell my story about how Jesus saved me from my femdom fetish. First of all sorry for my bad English :)

 
I am 28 years old. Like many of you I had this fetish since childhood. In my childhood I didn't have any access to internet so this fetish remained in my imagination. But when we got an internet access BOOM! Millions of femdom porns that I could enjoy. My fetish got weirder and more extreme. What is the most extreme femdom porn you have seen? I have seen them all! I don't want to mention them to enable triggers. I am telling this to show you I understand you and I'm not someone who developed this fetish by porn, I had it when I was a 5 years old child without any access to porn. I even played some soft femdom games with my childhood friends ;)
 
When I was 17 years old I found the most extreme femdom porn movies and stories that messed my mental situation badly, too heavy for a 17 years old boy. I told myself I can't continue like this anymore so started to see Psychologists. One of them prescribed me medicines that made me worse. When I was using his medicines I was so angry and mentally unstable and nothing changed in my fetish. I tried everything else, consulting, meditation, forcing myself to watch normal porn. But each time I failed.
 
My fetish got worse and worse until I read about internet porn effects on mind and body and I found yourbrainonporn.com. I tried to stop watching porn but it leaded me to a worse path: Edging! There were times that I would watched porn for 6 hours! (yes 6 hours of non-stop femdom porn watching) without ejaculation
 
Year ago I accepted Jesus as my savior. Jesus showed me that he doesn't want me to be a slave, he doesn't like my addiction and he has come to save me, but believe me it was still so hard. I couldn't resist femdom porns. I prayed so much, I read Bible every day I asked Jesus to save me from this fetish. Sometimes I won and I could resist it for few days or even weeks but then again...
 
This got worse when I found a girlfriend and could persuade her to try it with me. We started by playing mistress / slave rules in chat. At first she was disgusted but after a while she liked it. She liked the power and influence she had one me.
 
IT WAS A HELL! In one side I was happy that now I can experience my fetish with a real girl and in the other hand I was disgusted by it. I felt like a crap each time we did it in chat (We didn't find the chance to try it in real world because God saved me before that). I didn't want to be humiliated and dishonored. Also it was against of what God wanted from me. Sorry my English is not so good to descibe the feeling I had but I'm sure you understand this contradiction.
 
Jesus showed me that this girl should go out of my life. It was hard as hell! For 20 years I have this melting desire to be slave of a girl and now God says you must not do that! But I managed to do it. I obeyed Him and never lost my faith and kept praying and obeying God as much as I could. There were a spiritual path that takes so much time to describe but in shortly this is what I did:
  1. I prayed to God everyday
  2. I read Bible everyday
  3. I saw movies about Jesus like Passion of Christ and The Bible mini-serial, I really suggest last one to see how faith can save you.
  4. Each time I lost to Satan and femdom fetishes I backed to my heavenly father. I prayed again and asked Him for forgiveness and saving me.
  5. I obeyed God as much as could.
 
And few days ago the miracle happened! I went to a femdom porn website that I visit usually. I felt I don't like them and something in me rejects them. At first I thought it's just one time thing. Same happened next days. This time I thought maybe I got an erection problem and I lost my libido. but then I visited to a normal porn website and I was excited! I ejaculated to those normal porns few times with pleasure! no force, full pleasure! I know it's still a sin to see porn but this is a great sign that I'm cured! 
 
From that day I have little desire to go to femdom porn website but I'm excited about normal sex. I still have temptations and Satan tries to back me, I even watched femdom porns few times but it didn't took so long and I stopped it soon and asked God for forgiveness. It's not as strong as always, very very weak desire! 
 
I never experienced this before! I had this fetish for 20 years and there were no time that I didn't want it. I always had excitement and energy for it. Now I feel freed, saved. I don't see myself as a slave anymore. I'm free! Jesus saved me and made me a free man. 
 
Guys! my friends! who everyone that this fetish has ruined your life. I was there for 20 years, to the point I was confident there is no chance and I should live with it forever. Like you, I tried anything but It didn't work. Like you, I felt like a crap anytime I ejaculated to those porns. Like you, I said to myslef thousands times that I won't watch it again but I did. 
 
But guys there is a good news for you: Jesus died to save you from this chain! Yes for you! Jesus loves you and wants to save you. Jesus understands you, knows your pain, knows your fetish, he doesn't judge you, he has come exactly for people like you! He says "I came not to call the righteous, but sinners to repentance". Yes, believe it: Jesus died on cross to save a guy with femdom fetish like you and me. Jesus don't see you as others, a weird guy. No! He sees you as precious as his son. YOU ARE NOT A SLAVE, YOU ARE HIS SON! Slavery and femdom fetishes are just chains that Satan has attached to you and Jesus can break them. He believes in you and If you believe in him he can save you.
 
After watching thousands of femdom porn movies that tell you "you are worthless, you are slave, you are weak, no woman loves you, you have no honor and etc" you may believed those words but Jesus doesn't think same. He knows you are worthy (Worthy is the lamb), you are precious, you are strong and he truely loves you. Your enemy is not Femdom Porn. Your enemy is Satan who enslaved you with this fetish. Everyones has its own chain and this is yours. But Jesus died on cross to save all of us from our chains. 
 
I invite you to watch this video, it says my words in a more beautiful way:
 
Also this worship songs:
 
And At the end here is my advise: Obey God and he'll move! My miracle happened after when I had to choose between my girlfriend and God. Guys, believe me it was hardest decision I made in my whole life but I obeyed God and he saved me.
 
If you guys had any question I'd love to answer.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
On 3/28/2014 at 3:07 AM, ba51th said:

yes I like the idea when woman dominate me with her love, with her touch, with her passion and with her lust, but...

many dominant women are polygamous while I'm a monogamous...

many femdom are sexist, love of the idea to enslave men like animals as a pet, the most extreme one that I ever discover they believe they have the right to kill men after having sex like black widow spider...

I've always had a weakness for dominant women, but I ran into only one like the above.  I don't know that she was inclined to go all the way to "black widow" behavior, but she was quite extreme as described above.  She was definitely polygamous and had a collection of male and female submissives of whom I became aware only over time.

She began working on lowering my masculine self-esteem early on, probably noticing that I had a delicate masculinity and "small penis" concerns in the first place.  With her it wasn't just fantasy play, but a long term program of domination through step-wise humiliations.  She did change me before I was able to break away.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
On 3/11/2019 at 6:47 AM, lloydbaker said:

 I don't know that she was inclined to go all the way to "black widow" behavior, but she was quite extreme as described above.  She was definitely polygamous and had a collection of male and female submissives of whom I became aware only over time.

OMG!  I had failed to consider my knowledge that she was on probation for murdering her previous man!  She told be she just defended herself when they had a violent fight.  She claimed he had become abusive, after using drugs, and, therefore, she was convicted on some lesser charge that carried only a short jail time.  She also pointed-out her original husband, homeless wandering the street.  She said he had become an alcoholic and had lost everything.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
5 hours ago, lloydbaker said:

She began working on lowering my masculine self-esteem early on, probably noticing that I had a delicate masculinity and "small penis" concerns in the first place.  With her it wasn't just fantasy play, but a long term program of domination through step-wise humiliations.  She did change me before I was able to break away.

Upon re-consideration, she didn't change me, but she gradually brought-out the weak, submissive side of me through progressive humiliation and reinforcement.   At first, I thought it was just fantasy play, but she was serious as a heart attack.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
15 hours ago, lloydbaker said:

She began working on lowering my masculine self-esteem early on, probably noticing that I had a delicate masculinity and "small penis" concerns in the first place.  With her it wasn't just fantasy play, but a long term program of domination through step-wise humiliations.  She did change me before I was able to break away.

I may have experienced some of this myself.  I was never comfortable with it either.  

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
On 3/11/2019 at 9:57 PM, smallguy said:

I may have experienced some of this myself.  I was never comfortable with it either.  

I really enjoyed being dominated by the woman I referenced above, I interpreted it as a special secret gift I was giving and she appreciated.

No, she was just building her ego by progressively tearing down mind in elaborate irreversible orgasmic rituals for her only.  

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
On 3/18/2019 at 4:24 PM, lbaker said:

I really enjoyed being dominated by the woman I referenced above, I interpreted it as a special secret gift I was giving and she appreciated.

No, she was just building her ego by progressively tearing down my mind in elaborate irreversible orgasmic rituals for her only.  

I have seen cruel barbs about lesser endowed men, but what you are describing is far more severe, not just a passing emotional reaction.  Probably a reaction to suffering abuse I would guess!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
On 3/11/2019 at 6:47 AM, lbaker said:

I've always had a weakness for dominant women, but I ran into only one like the above.  I don't know that she was inclined to go all the way to "black widow" behavior, but she was quite extreme as described above.  She was definitely polygamous and had a collection of male and female submissives of whom I became aware only over time.

She began working on lowering my masculine self-esteem early on, probably noticing that I had a delicate masculinity and "small penis" concerns in the first place.  With her it wasn't just fantasy play, but a long term program of domination through step-wise humiliations.  She did change me before I was able to break away.

The world has more dangerous people inhabiting it than we might imagine.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

Loading...

×
×
  • Create New...