Having Nothing to live for, committing suicide in December for my miniature penis

[ShameOnThem]

You know, i wish people could be be more empathetic in this world. I don't think women or men would make jokes about small penises if they could truly understand how much pain it can cause people like littleonehiding. This is why I never make fun of other people's bodies, or really anything about another person, because what might seem like a harmless joke to you can be reopening a massive wound for them.

I really hope this guy just got bored with the conversation here and is still pushing forward in his life.

[breakaway]

Thanks to all the replies from everyone. I appreciate every single post from all you guys on this depressing matter.

Reply to spitfire 101

That's the only reason why I haven't killed myself yet is because I have a personal goal that hopefully will be accomplished in December as it is my absolute last chance. This December is when everything will collide for me and decisions will be made. I plan on graduating hopefully in December as it is my absolute last chance(out of money already) and just a couple of days later is my birthday and my parents have given me the ultimatum for 2 years now that I will be kicked out the end of this year whether I graduate or not! I have been going to college since graduating high school-I'm 27 now and will be 28 when I graduate-you do the math.I have been one the biggest failures in history. My classmates from high school have all gotten married and have had a couple of kids already. Everyone has progressed through life and moved on, BUT ME. My mini penis is not just my only problem although it is a HUGE problem for me and has been a problem since I was a little kid. My life is so sad, you can write a story about it and win a Noble Peace Prize for all the sadness and what I have been through my entire life. It is an AMERICAL that I am still alive today to be honest. I have no money, no job, no good looks, I stink naturally(that started 5 years ago and I have hyperhidrosis that it literally and I mean literally be freezing ice cold outside and me with 1 light shirt on and I will be sweating like an animal). So to say the least, I literally and figuratively have nothing to live for. I feel so bad,really really bad sometimes because I know my mom want to be a grandmother so much that sometimes I can't take it not being able to help her out. She is always talking about getting a girl for me, but I only keep telling her I don't want you picking a girl for me, I will pick my own girl. Then she says but you never go anywhere.I tell her whenever the right girl comes, the right girl comes! All this I have been doing for the real disguise I have been hiding. My mom and dad don't really know I have a mini penis, I think they have an idea that I have a tiny or small penis, but not a mini penis. They think I am just shy, but the only reason I am shy is because of my mini penis. So the only reason I have started to write on this site after many years of hiding and finding no answers to an unsolvable mini penis, I have become happier that you won't imagine knowing all of this will end one day. I have to make no more excuses, no more ridicule, no more being talked about by everyone, no more shame, no more torture, no more embarassment, and I will be FREE AT LAST, FREE AT LAST, FREE AT LAST! I am beginning to cry in such happiness at me imagining that moment happen when finally, and it's been a long time coming that I WILL FINALLY BE FREE.

I feel every word that you say and understand you perfectly. Suffer from a similar situation, a no job-no girl-living with parents-long term depression "loser" but feeling a little better now. If being smallish down there is depressing I can't imagine the agony one with an extremely small one goes through. All I can offer is understanding. Also, frankly, there is no evidence of the afterlife. That idea is illogical so please don't delude yourself. Why end it very soon? Try to at least end by doing something worthwhile like being killed as a firefighter. I know it sounds kinda corny but it's true and you'll actually have had a reason for existing. The ways of life...who knows some girl might appreciate your heroic efforts to die (pun intended) Hope you find some peace. You story brought back so many old, so very familiar feelings & touched me on every possible level...

[Lukaz]

.

[LouieRanks]

Your supposed to measure it fully erect and bone pressed, Or bone stretched as far as it will go on a ruler. The pubic bone is right above your penis which is where the starting point should be. Semi erect isnt the same as rock hard and could cost you a few inches. Being overweight can also skew the results if not measured properly. I think its all in your mind. Almost every guy who claims to have a micropenis is really average. Pornography has perverted what we think is normal. No one should compare their penis to porn stars. Its like comparing your height with NBA players and thinking thats average.

[51 Years of Misery]

Pretty sure God hates us.

He does. He's a Bastard!

[51 Years of Misery]

Your supposed to measure it fully erect and bone pressed, Or bone stretched as far as it will go on a ruler. The pubic bone is right above your penis which is where the starting point should be. Semi erect isnt the same as rock hard and could cost you a few inches. Being overweight can also skew the results if not measured properly. I think its all in your mind. Almost every guy who claims to have a micropenis is really average. Pornography has perverted what we think is normal. No one should compare their penis to porn stars. Its like comparing your height with NBA players and thinking thats average.

The love of big Cocks is instinctive.

[51 Years of Misery]

It is never my intention to brush anything off or to minimize anyone's pain. I apologize if anything that I wrote came across that way.

I'm here and I care.

We don't want alleged sympathy, we won't a CURE!

[51 Years of Misery]

There is nothing Selfish about Suicide.

[Resolute]

There is nothing Selfish about Suicide.

even if it is selfish, it's every person's right to not wanna "live". procreating, now that's selfish.

[Gryphon]

I hope all are still well. Not sure if I'm digging up an old thread.

Besides being smaller than average, 4.5 x 4.5 and having sps, I also have a different set of issues. 

I'm a christian and I'm married to my wife and she told me she has low sex drive. When we were younger, we still have sex but not quite often. The chances of me being rejected by her for sex was pretty high and it was pretty painful to be rejected most of the time. I always thought the reason for her rejection is because I'm small. I did manage to know from her she did have an ex that has a 6 inch penis. About 8 years ago, I gave up trying and we had never had sex since. The only way I could release is to masturbate. Even if I masturbate, I need to do it secretly. She does not like the idea of me masturbating. Divorce is not an option for me as a christian.

I've come to terms with myself. If she really walks out on me one day for having a small penis, I won't kill myself. I can still masturbate and without the fear of letting my wife know. 

I read most comments about the reason why ppl cannot get intimate with women is because of the need to satisfy the women sexually or risk being walked out or rejected. 

I live in a christian community. The set of values are different. Sex is supposed to be sacred and to be after marriage. Marriage is for life until death do us part. In my church, there are still plenty of ladies that are still virgins. I'm not sure this is an option for those really seeking intimacy, relationships and work out on sex whatever size we have. You could maybe give it a try? I don't think there is anything to lose. 

On the other hand, I love myself enough to learn to enjoy masturbation. There are many masturbation toys especially the Japanese ones designed for smaller ones like us. I've tried to learn to separate orgasm and ejaculations and have enjoyed one hour sessions of self pleasure. Sounds selfish? I think I need to love myself enough before I can give love.

 

[ShameOnThem]

On 3/27/2016 at 10:16 AM, Gryphon said:

I hope all are still well. Not sure if I'm digging up an old thread.

Besides being smaller than average, 4.5 x 4.5 and having sps, I also have a different set of issues. 

I'm a christian and I'm married to my wife and she told me she has low sex drive. When we were younger, we still have sex but not quite often. The chances of me being rejected by her for sex was pretty high and it was pretty painful to be rejected most of the time. I always thought the reason for her rejection is because I'm small. I did manage to know from her she did have an ex that has a 6 inch penis. About 8 years ago, I gave up trying and we had never had sex since. The only way I could release is to masturbate. Even if I masturbate, I need to do it secretly. She does not like the idea of me masturbating. Divorce is not an option for me as a christian.

I've come to terms with myself. If she really walks out on me one day for having a small penis, I won't kill myself. I can still masturbate and without the fear of letting my wife know. 

I read most comments about the reason why ppl cannot get intimate with women is because of the need to satisfy the women sexually or risk being walked out or rejected. 

I live in a christian community. The set of values are different. Sex is supposed to be sacred and to be after marriage. Marriage is for life until death do us part. In my church, there are still plenty of ladies that are still virgins. I'm not sure this is an option for those really seeking intimacy, relationships and work out on sex whatever size we have. You could maybe give it a try? I don't think there is anything to lose. 

On the other hand, I love myself enough to learn to enjoy masturbation. There are many masturbation toys especially the Japanese ones designed for smaller ones like us. I've tried to learn to separate orgasm and ejaculations and have enjoyed one hour sessions of self pleasure. Sounds selfish? I think I need to love myself enough before I can give love.

 

I'm sorry your marriage is not going well. But I have to say just from reading this, it sounds a lot like a common problem that most of us have, and that is your penis size matters a great deal more to you than it does your wife. If your wife has low sex drive and turns you down for sex, it is not because of your penis size. If your wife is not cheating on you and not masturbating herself, she is not abstaining from sexual pleasure because of the proportions of your own body. That is your own insecurities dictating how your perceive your situation. The human body is supposed desire sex, and to what degree it does is a personal issue, not a factor of the attractiveness of your partner. If she were getting sexual relief from somewhere else, maybe this would be a different story, but it sounds like your wife is not normal in her lack of desire for sexual pleasure. Basically, you're insecurities are playing you, and your wife is the one who needs to rectify her own sexuality problems. The obvious suggestion for all marital problems is counseling, and particularly sex counseling for your issues. Not having sex in a marriage is not healthy, and it's not acceptable for her to determine that her lack of sex drive is enough to completely stop having sex altogether.

The following is going to be complete speculation on my part, so take it with a grain of salt, but I think that both of your problem could be solved with a refocusing from your pleasure to hers.

-if she's religious now -> she was religious growing up
-if she was religious growing up -> she didn't have any sex and never masturbated
-if she has little to no experience with sexual pleasure -> she may be ignorant about what is necessary for her to achieve sexual gratification or orgasm
-if she hasn't really orgasmed ever(a lot of surveyed women have never orgasmed) -> she may not get why sex is awesome, and this has nothing to do with the size of your dick

A lot of women have trouble orgasming, and the majority of them cannot orgasm from Penis-In-Vagina sex, regardless of the size of the penis. The reason for this is size, but it is the size of the gap between the vagina and the clitoris. If this gap is too large, she may not be getting much pleasure from penetrative sex. But this can easily be rectified by paying more attention to the clitoris, either during foreplay or through manual stimulation during penetration. These are things a sex therapist could help her with(IT'S HER PROBLEM, NOT ANYTHING ABOUT YOU) but the deeper problem is that she is likely so repressed sexually for so long, because Organized Religion is just awesome, that she may have some big issues overcoming this and learning to accept and love her own body. She may not want you giving her oral sex because she is ashamed of her own genitals, or she may not feel like it is her right to enjoy sex, because God said so or w/e, but loving yourself and loving sex are two peas in a pod. And it's just easier for men to love sex, because our physical pleasure is pretty difficult to screw up.

But when I read your comment, I can't help but realize how all of us on this board do this same thing. The issue here is so very clearly your wifes relationship with her own body and sexuality, but you project this through the lens of your own insecurities to make it seem like if she were to leave you it would because you have a small penis and not because your relationship has become pleasureless and the gap between her desires and your own have made everything contentious. There is a solution out there for you both, but it sounds like she has a lot further to go than you do.

[Gryphon]

4 hours ago, ShameOnThem said:

I'm sorry your marriage is not going well. But I have to say just from reading this, it sounds a lot like a common problem that most of us have, and that is your penis size matters a great deal more to you than it does your wife. If your wife has low sex drive and turns you down for sex, it is not because of your penis size. If your wife is not cheating on you and not masturbating herself, she is not abstaining from sexual pleasure because of the proportions of your own body. That is your own insecurities dictating how your perceive your situation. The human body is supposed desire sex, and to what degree it does is a personal issue, not a factor of the attractiveness of your partner. If she were getting sexual relief from somewhere else, maybe this would be a different story, but it sounds like your wife is not normal in her lack of desire for sexual pleasure. Basically, you're insecurities are playing you, and your wife is the one who needs to rectify her own sexuality problems. The obvious suggestion for all marital problems is counseling, and particularly sex counseling for your issues. Not having sex in a marriage is not healthy, and it's not acceptable for her to determine that her lack of sex drive is enough to completely stop having sex altogether.

The following is going to be complete speculation on my part, so take it with a grain of salt, but I think that both of your problem could be solved with a refocusing from your pleasure to hers.

-if she's religious now -> she was religious growing up
-if she was religious growing up -> she didn't have any sex and never masturbated
-if she has little to no experience with sexual pleasure -> she may be ignorant about what is necessary for her to achieve sexual gratification or orgasm
-if she hasn't really orgasmed ever(a lot of surveyed women have never orgasmed) -> she may not get why sex is awesome, and this has nothing to do with the size of your dick

A lot of women have trouble orgasming, and the majority of them cannot orgasm from Penis-In-Vagina sex, regardless of the size of the penis. The reason for this is size, but it is the size of the gap between the vagina and the clitoris. If this gap is too large, she may not be getting much pleasure from penetrative sex. But this can easily be rectified by paying more attention to the clitoris, either during foreplay or through manual stimulation during penetration. These are things a sex therapist could help her with(IT'S HER PROBLEM, NOT ANYTHING ABOUT YOU) but the deeper problem is that she is likely so repressed sexually for so long, because Organized Religion is just awesome, that she may have some big issues overcoming this and learning to accept and love her own body. She may not want you giving her oral sex because she is ashamed of her own genitals, or she may not feel like it is her right to enjoy sex, because God said so or w/e, but loving yourself and loving sex are two peas in a pod. And it's just easier for men to love sex, because our physical pleasure is pretty difficult to screw up.

But when I read your comment, I can't help but realize how all of us on this board do this same thing. The issue here is so very clearly your wifes relationship with her own body and sexuality, but you project this through the lens of your own insecurities to make it seem like if she were to leave you it would because you have a small penis and not because your relationship has become pleasureless and the gap between her desires and your own have made everything contentious. There is a solution out there for you both, but it sounds like she has a lot further to go than you do.

How do I suggest to her for sex counselling? My gut feel is she doesn't even think there is anything not right with it. 

When we were married, she was the experience one and she was my first.

How do I tell that she is having vaginal orgasm? I could only tell that she that enjoyed sex with me.

[Victimorthecrime]

Gryphon I believe you said your wife is religious. Perhaps there are scriptures you could read w your wife that address this topic. Maybe you could then seek pastoral counseling. 

[Gryphon]

I'm the religious one . I'm still working on and praying about this. Sometimes feel quite tired as I'm one the one always trying to make things work.

 

[Resolute]

@Gryphon, i don't wanna sound insensitive, but are you sure she isn't (or hasn't) cheating on you?

[Gryphon]

I don't think so. She doesn't bother about her looks nowadays as when the time we knew each other. The difference could be night and day. I guess if she is going out with other guys. She should be all dressed up?

[Resolute]

idk what to tell you. i hope you're right.

[Gryphon]

Go ahead Resolute. I would like to know things that I may not know.

I hope I'm right too. 

[Resolute]

i just meant that a man should know what his wife does, or doesn't, do, specially things of this magnitude.

[Gryphon]

Ok.

I have observed other signs to show that she is not cheating on me. Like we in the process of getting our next house and moving there is a year or two.

I am not sure, can a women be involved in the process to move to new house and be cheating on the man? Purely sexual in nature? I guess if that's the case then it would be my smaller than average size that is the problem?

 

[Resolute]

of course it's possible, tho what difference would it make whether it's a purely sexual affair or not. also, many women don't necessarily cheat with guys who have bigger penises than their husbands.

[Gryphon]

How should I go about knowing if she is cheating on me? Any other tell tale signs?

[Resolute]

i don't know your entire situation, so i can't really say. but you could search online for general information on what to look for.

[Gryphon]

Ok. I will ask Mr Google. 

[Resolute]

you said before that you're a christian so divorce isn't an option... if so, then perhaps you should just forget about the whole thing (and not ask mr./mrs. google lol).