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Victimorthecrime

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@Small my dad was a nice guy thank god but very very quiet.  Plus he worked a lot of hours, including odd hours so there definitely was a suboptimal level of interaction.  

My mother was also very sweet by emotionally unstable. I would not be surprised if she had what they today call "borderline personality disorder".  

And there was me - an undersized, under courageous only child 👶. You probably get the picture.  

 

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@Victimorthecrime

There's a commonly accepted theory in psychology (the name escapes me) that our "inner voice" is in fact the voice of our parents or primary caregivers for the most part. I wonder if this lack of a genuine parental inner voice contributes to a difficulty in facing our problems with any sense of (parental) fortitude or authority? You, klingsor & I have described quite a substantial lack of parental guidance. 

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By the way, my dad was very quiet too, hardworking & a good person. Idk. His style of parenting was avoidance. I don't begrudge him. I try to look after him when i can. I've said this to my sister but I'm grateful for it now. Because my inner voice is mostly my own & not his - something I value.

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My father is of Scots Irish extraction and there is something about the Irish temper that is instantly recognizable. Case in point - he looks nothing like Bill oreilly, but that video of oreilly going ballistic on camera that leaked several years ago is a perfect representation of what I'm talking about. It's something in the eyes and face you can just instantly recognize. My dad was a fanatical disciplinarian, physically abusive, with a massive inferiority complex who gave me nothing except his overwhelming sense of inferiority. 

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