Rose Posted August 31, 2014 Report Share Posted August 31, 2014 I dont know whats wrong with me im envious of everyone and im jelous of everyone and im so insecure and lack so much confidence, i always feel worthless and untalented and disconnected and left out i always feel a lone i never feel any connection to anyone even if they have similar intrests and hobbies like for example if someone is more introverted than me i'd become more introverted or if someone is more talented than me in art i'd try to make myself better just to make myself feel special and try to be the best at something,, instead of making a connection with the person similar to me i would try to make my myself better and more talented in that hobby than them and if i werent i would try to convince myself that i am or start exaggerating in practising that hobby to get better, i never feel fitted in anything and i never feel that im the best in anything i always think myself as average in something or bad at something im always depressed no matter what i do or where i go its so painful it doesnt go it tires me i cant change this way i think of or the way i view everything, whats this what is it called can someone help me with it anything is appreciated and thanks Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Resolute Posted August 31, 2014 Report Share Posted August 31, 2014 you shouldn't care too much what others think of you,as long as you know that you're doing your best.identify your strengths,and do what you can to excel in those fields,and don't be too hard on yourself.good luck. Rose 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rose Posted September 7, 2014 Author Report Share Posted September 7, 2014 Thank you for your reply it helped Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Resolute Posted September 7, 2014 Report Share Posted September 7, 2014 Thank you for your reply it helped you're welcome,happy to here that. Rose 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rose Posted September 16, 2014 Author Report Share Posted September 16, 2014 The big problem is i never like anything i hate everything and i always feel so down and that the real world is so cruel even the internet one, people who are liked whether on the real world or even internet get more people and more support , i always considered this unfair and cruel what about the people who have nothing to be liked for and no one ,why is it only some certain people who get the good things and why cant some people find a place to fit in and get all the people and support they need is it just because they are not very liked even thou they try harder to be accepted and liked than the ones who are liked and accepted. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IrmaJean Posted September 16, 2014 Report Share Posted September 16, 2014 Feeling left out can be very painful. I have felt that myself too at times and it hurts deeply, I hear you. I see you too, Lawliet, and I am glad you joined our community.Possibly there are many things to like about you? Did anything happen recently in your life to cause you to feel so disheartened?I'm sorry you're hurting. Rose 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Resolute Posted September 16, 2014 Report Share Posted September 16, 2014 The big problem is i never like anything i hate everything and i always feel so down and that the real world is so cruel even the internet one, people who are liked whether on the real world or even internet get more people and more support , i always considered this unfair and cruel what about the people who have nothing to be liked for and no one ,why is it only some certain people who get the good things and why cant some people find a place to fit in and get all the people and support they need is it just because they are not very liked even thou they try harder to be accepted and liked than the ones who are liked and accepted.why do you hate everything? i'm sure there are some things or people you like,or love?unfortunately,seldom,is life fair,but we gotta make the best of it and try to roll with life's punches. Rose 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rose Posted September 16, 2014 Author Report Share Posted September 16, 2014 Feeling left out can be very painful. I have felt that myself too at times and it hurts deeply, I hear you. I see you too, Lawliet, and I am glad you joined our community.Possibly there are many things to like about you? Did anything happen recently in your life to cause you to feel so disheartened?I'm sorry you're hurting. Thank you so much for being so kind i hope everything bad you're facing goes away I'm also glad i joined this community people here are like me in some ways It's not something big that happened recently but recently i always feel envious of people i can't help not considering anyone my rival,, as I always remember in my whole life i always felt depressed about something my whole life had always been so empty i never had grandparents as a kid i always and still do wish i met at least one of my grandparents i only met one of my grandpa's but we never visited him very much i was so young when he died i never really spoke to him also he was very old he couldn't even move and i was very young so i never built up any connections to him ,, my aunts and uncles are all so mean along with their children so i never interact with them I'm isolated from my family mentally i never feel any connection to them i always used to wish if my mother was one of those kind nice mothers who hug their kids and studied for them but my mother never did that to me,, i got a disease since age 8 but its dangerous but i always used to feel sad that i did i really hated going to the hospital i really hated when people treated me nicer cause i had a disease i hated going to the hospital it reminded me of that i hated getting absent from school because i had appointments i hated the fact that i hided the fact i was sick from friends none of them know that until now i feel weak or sonething similar if i told them and friends i only had a real friend from 5th grade who wouldn't bully or leave me or take my stuff we're still very close friends but I don't open up much because sometimes I whine a lot when i do and my friend says that it's depressing so I never really talk about my depression with friends i also feel disconnected from them but they're the closest people to me now also my grades at school they were always bad no one studied for me as a kid i was always the person with lowest grades in the class people looked down upon me it really hurtsI always remember my childhood and one of my cousins who i saw as a big brother figure to me i really loved him so much he was nice and so kind ever since he died at age 18 when i was 6 years old i hated everything so much i always wished and still do wish to go back to the happy days when he was alive i miss him so much the days when he was alive seemed so different i never felt sad at those days.Those were my first depression issues which probably caused the many depression issues i got and get with growing up Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rose Posted September 16, 2014 Author Report Share Posted September 16, 2014 why do you hate everything? i'm sure there are some things or people you like,or love?unfortunately,seldom,is life fair,but we gotta make the best of it and try to roll with life's punches.I really never find a reason to not hate everything, every time i start liking something or soneone something happens and makes me hate again its always like this and no one ever notices me or acknowledges my existence i always wanted to have many loving friends and family but i dont it feels so horrible wanting someone to acknowledge or notice you while no one ever does i really felt so happy when a girl from my class followed me on insta i always felt everyone ignored me but when she did that i thought that at least someone cares to at least follow me i never talk to my classmates i always wanted to but people always ignore and my social skills are so bad Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rose Posted September 16, 2014 Author Report Share Posted September 16, 2014 And thank you so much everyone for helping and replying Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Resolute Posted September 16, 2014 Report Share Posted September 16, 2014 And thank you so much everyone for helping and replying you're welcome.I always remember my childhood and one of my cousins who i saw as a big brother figure to me i really loved him so much he was nice and so kind ever since he died at age 18 when i was 6 years old i hated everything so much i always wished and still do wish to go back to the happy days when he was alive i miss him so much the days when he was alive seemed so different i never felt sad at those days.i'm sorry about your cousin.i hope you become happy once again. Rose 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rose Posted September 18, 2014 Author Report Share Posted September 18, 2014 you're welcome.i'm sorry about your cousin.i hope you become happy once again.Thank you,, i also hope you're always happy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IrmaJean Posted September 18, 2014 Report Share Posted September 18, 2014 I'm sorry you've been through so much in your life, Lawliet. Being ill as a child must have been so very difficult to cope with on so many levels. I hope you are healthy and well now. Connections with family and friends are so important; I think this is something we all need. I'm sorry you did not have the kind of relationships in your childhood that you both wanted and needed. I'm also sorry about the loss of your cousin. Loss can be so painful and difficult.Is there a counselor you might talk with about your feelings and struggles? Some friends might not understand or be able to listen, but you may also find some friends that want to be there for you. Support can be so helpful during difficult times.Do you have any hobbies or interests?I hope things look a bit brighter for you soon, Lawliet. Take care. Rose 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lifeshadows Posted September 19, 2014 Report Share Posted September 19, 2014 Hello Lawliet, I feel how you feel sometimes too.. trying to surpass people in what they do because I am afraid that they will think less of me, becuase I feel insecure...If I know someone who plays piano, and I do not, and I hear a commentary from someone else saying "oh he is good" I will feel like if I was being compared and will feel down for a week or so until I forget that, even if I do not do the same thing, or if I do... I will always feel compared to everyone, in everything...I don't know if people think alike, but I just do, and at the same time I don't feel interested that much.I noticed that doing physical exercicies everyday started to help me to think more of myself...Also I started to study harder music, and started to learn something new everyday, maybe a new french word, or something weird like, who was the first Chinese Emperor?Maybe not that useful, but if you learn something you feel better..You must also keep in mind that people are not so talented as they act, sometimes they do a trick or two to make you think more of them...Comparing is not even fair at all.. Everyone is so unique that there is nobody like you in this world, someone can think alike or do something you do, but they are not you and will never be... Find the things you can do well, if you can't just practice, eventually you will surpass yourself and that is what you need.We, human beings are not numbers, we can't compare to each other in everything..You will meet new people to be happy with in your life yet, just keep your mind open to that even if it takes time.Every new day is new... When you look back you can't pay attention to what is going to happen next.I have passed a lot of time thinking about the few happy momments I had in my life, but time will pay me back for all the suffering, and it made me learn a lot about myself and my life, have faith Rose 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rose Posted September 19, 2014 Author Report Share Posted September 19, 2014 I'm sorry you've been through so much in your life, Lawliet. Being ill as a child must have been so very difficult to cope with on so many levels. I hope you are healthy and well now. Connections with family and friends are so important; I think this is something we all need. I'm sorry you did not have the kind of relationships in your childhood that you both wanted and needed. I'm also sorry about the loss of your cousin. Loss can be so painful and difficult.Is there a counselor you might talk with about your feelings and struggles? Some friends might not understand or be able to listen, but you may also find some friends that want to be there for you. Support can be so helpful during difficult times.Do you have any hobbies or interests?I hope things look a bit brighter for you soon, Lawliet. Take care.Thank you I will try a consuelor but the problem is i cant talk to people face to face even if i do i cany how i truly feel the problem in friendship is i dont have social skills im so bad at it so i cant make friends (i have asperger) from the day i was bornI have hobbies and intrests i love history, drawing, animeThank you Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rose Posted September 19, 2014 Author Report Share Posted September 19, 2014 Hello Lawliet, I feel how you feel sometimes too.. trying to surpass people in what they do because I am afraid that they will think less of me, becuase I feel insecure...If I know someone who plays piano, and I do not, and I hear a commentary from someone else saying "oh he is good" I will feel like if I was being compared and will feel down for a week or so until I forget that, even if I do not do the same thing, or if I do... I will always feel compared to everyone, in everything...I don't know if people think alike, but I just do, and at the same time I don't feel interested that much.I noticed that doing physical exercicies everyday started to help me to think more of myself...Also I started to study harder music, and started to learn something new everyday, maybe a new french word, or something weird like, who was the first Chinese Emperor?Maybe not that useful, but if you learn something you feel better..You must also keep in mind that people are not so talented as they act, sometimes they do a trick or two to make you think more of them...Comparing is not even fair at all.. Everyone is so unique that there is nobody like you in this world, someone can think alike or do something you do, but they are not you and will never be... Find the things you can do well, if you can't just practice, eventually you will surpass yourself and that is what you need.We, human beings are not numbers, we can't compare to each other in everything..You will meet new people to be happy with in your life yet, just keep your mind open to that even if it takes time.Every new day is new... When you look back you can't pay attention to what is going to happen next.I have passed a lot of time thinking about the few happy momments I had in my life, but time will pay me back for all the suffering, and it made me learn a lot about myself and my life, have faithI feel exactly the way you do My depressions stay a little more and are much stronger because of my aspie even a depression i had two years ago comes back sometimes but still doesnt affect me as recent depressionsAnd thank you for telling me your solutions I also think that because nothing lasts many problems and depressions have gone Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rose Posted September 19, 2014 Author Report Share Posted September 19, 2014 @lifeshadowsWhat you said about being intrested in other things and learning new things i think yes it helped me, i'm currently intrested in mental things those days and it made me forget about my depressions and actually made me really happy but like you said the depressions start coming sometime later but then go againI think that all problems go away, when i was younger one of my blond cute curly haired 'friends' used to bully me about how dark my hair color is (its jet black) it made me hate my hair color so much i was being so envious of everyone with lighter hair and saw it more beautiful, i didnt even take care of my hair and would leave it without cutting it for a very long time i really hated it so much and even blamed my father about it for inherting the hair color from him but later on as i got older i realized that my hair color is actually beautiful.No matter how much flaws YOU have YOU'RE still YOU Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lifeshadows Posted September 20, 2014 Report Share Posted September 20, 2014 Try to think that maybe this person was making all this bully with you because someone else said something before, or because at the end she was actually jealous about your hair and wanted to make you to feel the one who was wrong.We always like what we don't have, if you had blond hair, you would like to have dark... When I was at school most of people had black hair in my class, and mine was light, and I was so jealous that I wanted so much to have pure dark raven hair that became a dream for a while, nowadays I just love my hair color because I learned that every color is beautiful and it fits better on me than others, and I find all hair colors beautiful, because there are more important matters on each person than their hair color.Never let these comments annoy you, we are what we are and if someone judge you, then they are the insecure about your presence.I hope I can be helpful to you, even thought I have similar problems, I hope I can help and understand you. Rose 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rose Posted September 20, 2014 Author Report Share Posted September 20, 2014 Try to think that maybe this person was making all this bully with you because someone else said something before, or because at the end she was actually jealous about your hair and wanted to make you to feel the one who was wrong.We always like what we don't have, if you had blond hair, you would like to have dark... When I was at school most of people had black hair in my class, and mine was light, and I was so jealous that I wanted so much to have pure dark raven hair that became a dream for a while, nowadays I just love my hair color because I learned that every color is beautiful and it fits better on me than others, and I find all hair colors beautiful, because there are more important matters on each person than their hair color.Never let these comments annoy you, we are what we are and if someone judge you, then they are the insecure about your presence.I hope I can be helpful to you, even thought I have similar problems, I hope I can help and understand you.Yeah i know that the bully was insecure it's been a few years since that and the time showed me the person's insecurities and allI also started loving my hair after reading about it and as i grew more i realized that its just hair, all hair colors are beautiful/the same and that i should be greatful to have hair because there are people out there who suffer from having hair/being bald, thats how i learned to love itYou're helpful thank you so much i hope that i was helpful to you too knowing that theres someone else with similar problems makes you feel less lonely Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lifeshadows Posted September 23, 2014 Report Share Posted September 23, 2014 Glad you feel better, you are never alone in this be sure. Rose and Victimorthecrime 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jerprah133 Posted February 9, 2015 Report Share Posted February 9, 2015 You are never, ever alone. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Established301 Posted August 21, 2016 Report Share Posted August 21, 2016 how is that Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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