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Confidence / Self Confidence


Victimorthecrime

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28 is still young for a guy. My free advice for you would be to find some passion in life and go with it. Be it a business venture, something on the internet, artistic pursuit, a physical activity or job like being a craftsman, move to a resort town where girls party and just have fun, etc just do that to the exclusion of all else. If I had known at your age that I would never become a family man that is what I would have done.

Just a curiosity question, what's your drink of choice? I am thinking Scotch, maybe beer.

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I've never had Famous Grouse, I will have to try it sometime.

The only time I've ever had single malt Scotch was in a restaurant at the recommendation of someone...don't even remember what brand it was. I could tell no appreciable difference, but my palate is not as refined as some. I suspect it's simply another form of status symbol to be able to state you only drink single malt whiskey.

My absolute favorite liquor in the whole world is absinthe - I literally cannot keep it in the house because I love it so much. There is a mixed drink called a Suissesse made with absinthe and it is pure nectar. I would drink these every day, all day if I could.

...good tangent we got going here...lol

Like the original absinthe? With the hallucinating/trippy effects? I think it's forbidden in my country..

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  • 3 weeks later...

I believe deep in my heart, it's the confidence that came first for the millionaires that were born lower or middle class. Some might've called them "unrealistic," or "dillusional," but I believe that bull-headed attitude that discarded those statements is what set that success in motion for greater successes and triumphs.

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However I've always found people have a brilliant skill set, yet they do not realize said skill set yet. I believe we're all the perfect soil for our own epic journeys, and you should know what my life has consisted of. I still believe every person has great, grand and incomparable potential, but finding the reasons to trudge through the tough times to get the reward at the end is where most give up. I even hope for the people who have done their best to destroy me, I have no bars held on this aspect of life as I've come to understand life. Even a burly man with no intelligence can be the best sewing master in the world, or the greatest master carpenter. I believe we just need to find the niche where each of us belong, and cut out the "white noise" of others nay-saying, disbelief, doubts and fears.

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  • 3 weeks later...

although i don't really believe knowing the answer to certain things makes any difference, but here goes:

there are generally four types of people:

1- those who get somewhere with hard work and patience etc..

2- those who get somewhere without much hard work and....

3- those who are losers by their own doing (more or less).

4- those who are losers not by their own doing (for the most part).

number 1 is the opposite of number 3, and number 2, the opposite of 4.

anyone who's unfortunate enough to be in the fourth category is screwed, and there's nothing he/she can do about it, period.

most people don't know shit about anything, so their reactions/responses to different people from these four categories will vary greatly depending on how stupid, ignorant, or insensitive they are; or the opposite.

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In any group there is pressure to push out the lowest individual. In any corporation the bottom 10% or so are always on write up and in real danger of losing their job. Even in unions where you can't just fire them so easily, the least favored will be steered toward going out on disability.

Is it a hold over from evolution, the runt of the litter gets no teat? Or from a Christian perspective does evil just seek the most vulnerable? From a psychological perspective perhaps picking on the weak is a manifestation of insecurity - "I don't want his weakness to infect the group and spread to me. I don't want to be seen as weak myself via guilt by association".

Whatever the cause, the phenomena you point out is real. I have seen it all my life.

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I don't know, "inferiority" seems like a judgment to me. I don't feel because a person struggles they are inferior in any way, just unique and different. I know I have felt that way myself at times, but I view it as a feeling and not necessarily a fact. Or even if I suck at math, it doesn't make me inferior as a person, I may have other strengths. But then we are comparing ourselves with others...Maybe the best way to balance is accept self as is? I totally understand this is quite challenging.

Klingsor, maybe try and not label yourself or attach such judgments as "inferior" or "failure" to your sense of self?

So what in the world can I do to change this?

How is your self-talk? Are you beating yourself down, being very critical? Maybe start out by being aware of how you are relating to yourself?

Edited by IrmaJean
fixing that quote thing yet again....
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I'll listen if it helps to talk. I'm available to PM too, though it may take me some time to respond. We have blog options too. There are people out there who care.

irma, you're so kind and sweet.

now if i can only get god to listen, that might actually help. if i can get him to respond, well, then i'd be ecstatic.

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