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Victimorthecrime

Confidence / Self Confidence

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I didn't even see this until now.  I missed your post Klingsor, hope all is well or as well as they can be.  

My best advice to you is to focus on making money.  If you have money in this country life can good no matter what your past.  

But regardless take good care of yourself.  Life is short and then over forever.  Enjoy it while you can for all its worth.  

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Confidence is the most elusive thing. It defies definition but it's immediately recognizable. This is really the root of all my pathologies -- sps, social anxiety, depression. I simply do not know how one aquires it. Perhaps it isn't obtainable, it's either there or it's not. If I had confidence I would be a different person and my life would have unfolded entirely differently.

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Well, they mostly seemed to be Russians who were somehow selling Canadian pharmaceuticals.  That didn't make them sound like very reliable sources.

Vic:  What did the Romans say when they were having a bad day?

"Crape Diem"

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Yeah.  But the law of averages suggests it won't be you or me.  Not to mention P. T. Barnum's observation that there's a sucker born every minute.  Which must be a rough life, for both the sucker and his mom ...  (Happy Mother's Day, btw.)

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This is somewhat negative but here goes:  Some people, life supports them. Their DNA resonates w planet earth.  The world claims them as one of their own.  Others of us, and I feel this is particularly true of men, are simply not "in the club". We are expendable, we are cannon fodder. Even if we never see the front, we are residue, waste.  We bring no value to the tribe.  If we were gone we would not be missed for a nanosecond. Millions stand ready to take our place.  

A man such as I describe can labor night and day and any gain will be around the margin at best.  

I will still work hard and hope for success but I know at this point it is performance art.  

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An interesting clip with the animator Chuck Jones thought I'd share. Might provide motivation for somebody. The way he describes himself at the beginning is exactly me...middle of the road failure. I've just never been able to assume his frame of mind at the end. How lucky he was the career he chose.

 

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Yeah,, this made me review my life in this regard.

I systematically avoided any field of endeavor where I felt like he described and stuck ONLY to ones where I seemed to be comparing somewhat favorably to others AT THE OUTSET!  As I advanced in a certain sport, I quit as soon as I reached a level where I began to feel like he described entering the art class.

Only when I started drinking alcohol could I become social or sexual.  

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