Howdy-Doo

[Whirlwind69]

Greetings. I'm a latino, 38 years old, went to college for Psychology and today I work in accounting (go figure).

When I was in the third grade, one of my classmates found me taking a leak in the restroom. Even back then, I knew that I had a small dick…and it totally didn’t bother me until this point in my life. Granted, boys in the third grade aren’t physically developed, they all got peanuts. But even my peanut was dinky! My “friend” pointed and laughed and said it: Hahaaaaa! You got a dinky dick!

From then on, I felt self-conscious but at peace. So I had a small dick…there was nothing I could do about it! It’s not like guys earn their size by doing noble deeds, practicing, working out or by any other form of discipline. We got what we got!

It’s like God lined us up, blinded us, and had us walking through the factory of body parts. I got a chest most guys would KILL for. I have nice, broad muscular shoulders that I’m proud of – I look amazing in a tank top so summer is my favorite weather. But, alas…when I walked by the dick-bin with my blindfold on, I grabbed a small one by chance. God wouldn’t let me put the dinky one back in exchange for a deluxe model. He said you reach in, and you get what you get.

So here I am. There was a point in my life when I felt ashamed of my cock size. But here’s the thing: I have never had complaints about the size while it’s erect. I’ve gotten compliments on how I use what I have. So once the engine is primed I can cruise with the best of them. Limp? That took some mental work on my part.

Even with my degree in psychology, I struggled. I remember a boy from high school named Matt. Back then, we had to shower together military-style as a part of our grade. I never hid my dinky dick in high school, because (like I said) there was nothing I could do about it. After tons of research, I came to realize that I suffered from buried penis syndrome. Which means that my penis pulls back inside of my body when it’s limp. A couple of other guys in high school had this as well. They didn’t seem ashamed. And nobody was supposed to look at another guy in the showers, that was gay. But Matt…oh my God, that boy was blessed!

I remember looking at him close in the shower one day and admiring his penis (not in a dirty way). It hung there, about seven inches of it, I swear. It swayed with the gravity. And Matt’s expression on his face when he saw guys checking out his penis was nonchalant, the same as mine! We got what we got, that expression said. You got to be happy with what you were given.

Through the years, I learned…Matt went bald right out of high school. I still have my full head of hair. He got a gut that just grew over the years. I can still fit into my size 32’s. My face never wrinkled over the years. He looks like someone grandpa today. All prove…yes, we got what we got.

Out of desperation, I started experimenting with weights (bad idea). I ordered gimmicks in the mail, vice-like contraptions that you screw tight around your dick so that you could hang weights. These are dangerous, you don’t know the horrors. Don’t do it.

Eventually, I constructed my own wearable penis weight that looked like an actual penis. It was MY turn to be Matt, haha! I took the thing for test spins…public showers, nude beaches, etc. I loved the bug-eyed stares that I got and the extra attention! Never before in my life had I felt an actual penis swinging between my legs while I strutted down the trails of a nude beach with people stepping aside to watch me walk past!

But in the end…I came to realize that I am happy with my own skin. This is me! This is what I am. I’m not going to look at my feet and cut off my toes to go a shoe size smaller! I’d never cut off my legs to change my height. My penis is mine, it’s a real living part of me. Like my hands, my fingers, my eyes. I have learned to accept it. Maybe one day, people will give me that same bug-eyed look because I have size 11 feet. But until then…I’ve seen both sides of this (having a little one and wearing one the size of a porn star).

I’ll take myself as I am. Ya know? That’s my introduction – peace. J

[Senior penor]

Bravo

[CNL]

So theoretically if you heard your wife or girlfriend or whatever experiencing levels of sexual pleasure that are far beyond anything you're capable of you would not even react or feel diminished in any way? Not because she is cheating on you or anything, but in a hypothetical scenario where it's all a holodeck simulation and all you're reacting to is the demonstration of your objectively inferior sexual prowess?

For me, and I think many of us here, the idea or the memory of such experiences creates an involuntary reaction of despair that guts the self-esteem for extended periods of time, and at the end of such periods some of us come around to your perspective only to return the next time we hear women restate the truth of their preferences. There are people here who know for a fact that women left them because of this. Can you say that yourself? If you've never had complaints, do you know how such a thing would even feel?

This reminds me of that documentary My Penis and I, where the guy tells us that he and his girlfriend both hate his penis, and then we're taken through a silly montage and get shown some plastercast dicks, and then all of a sudden he is cured and it's just a part of him and he doesn't care and it doesn't matter and I'm just asking myself "...but why?"

[nytaiji]

"For me, and I think many of us here, the idea or the memory of such experiences creates an involuntary reaction of despair that guts the self-esteem for extended periods of time, and at the end of such periods some of us come around to your perspective only to return the next time we hear women restate the truth of their preferences. There are people here who know for a fact that women left them because of this..."

Well said CNL. I have never been openly rejected because of my penis size. I have only had it thrown in my face a number of times. Apparently I'm small, but acceptable. After coming here and reading some of these personal stories, I am growing increasingly hateful toward the female species. I am now to the point that when I hear a woman make a small penis joke, I immediately cut her right down based on her physical attributes. An eye for an eye. Fuck it! Let them and whoever is standing around think I'm small. That's why this topic is such fair game to women. Nobody speaks up. I'm no longer biting my tongue.

[modestman]

That's why this topic is such fair game to women. Nobody speaks up. I'm no longer biting my tongue.

Me, too. Anyone who denounces "body shaming," while also making cruel jokes about penis size is a hypocrite, and I call them out.

[retsuud]

So no more jokes about big ears, weird noses or any other funny aspect of the human body?

[nytaiji]

"So no more jokes about big ears, weird noses or any other funny aspect of the human body?"

I guess if you can only see in black and white, then no. But we all know life isn't so black and white. If you need proof...go up to a woman and tell her she has big ears. Then go up to another woman and tell her she's fat. Then compare the two reactions. You sir, went to an extreme with that comment.

[retsuud]

No, I didn't go extreme with my comment.

This line; "After coming here and reading some of these personal stories, I am growing increasingly hateful toward the female species" sounds way more extreme in my opinion. "I immediately cut her right down based on her physical attributes". I really believe you should treat people the way you want to be treated. What makes you better then her, when you do the exact same thing?

I'm not sure what you tried to tell with your example, but a girl with big ears could be very insecure about it. A girl that's fat could be very proud of it and of course the other way around. What I tried to say is that jokes will be made about people. About their personalities, about their flaws, about their insecurities and about their physical appearances. A joke is a joke. It's the context where it's made in that makes it laughable or not. It's the person that tells the joke and the intention behind it.

I'm not trying to be the good Samaritan here, but stand up against bullying of minorities, bullying of appearances and bullying in general.

[nytaiji]

Ok, I'll use an extreme example too then. If a person walks up and spits in your face, you're not going to retaliate in ANY way? Just gonna take it?

And I really just don't know how to argue the fact that you're comparing "a joke" about penis size with a joke about ears. That's what I was trying to do with my example. But I will concede if you can show a link for a forum for people with emotional trauma from all the comments they've recieved about their big ears.

I'm not trying to be a better person. My goal is to make a girl think twice the next time she wants to "make a joke" about small penises when she has no idea that a guy listening to hear might have a small penis. And since I fall into that category (or in my head I do) it is going to strike a nerve and I am going to strike back.

[retsuud]

What would be the difference between a penis joke and a ear joke? You can't tell, right? It all depends on the person joked about. People can be insecure about almost anything and it's naive to think otherwise. The ear was just meant as an example.

My intention wasn't to tell you not to stand up for yourself or anyone being laughed at for having a small penis, because I can only agree with you on that. My comment was about the fact that people should be more intelligent concerning joking about or bullying anyone for any reason.

To answer your extreme example. When I get spit in the face, I'll gently brush the spit off my face with my pinky, slowly put it in my mouth and lick it clean whilst looking at the person the whole time. And after that, I'll murder his family. But if a person starts calling me names for whatever reason, then no, I won't react that extreme.

[nytaiji]

"But if a person starts calling me names for whatever reason, then no, I won't react that extreme."

But you will "react". And the difference between a penis joke and an ear joke is the level of damage it does. I completely disagree that they are on the same level of insensitivity. But I guess we'll just have to agree to disagree on that.

[retsuud]

Yes, of course I will react. I never said I wouldn't.

But how can you say that the difference is in the level of damage it does? I agree with you on the fact that is causes damage, it's the same here, but to say that it is more extreme or painful.. How do you measure such a thing? Your insecurities could mean shit to another person and what you see as the most normal thing in the world could mean the end of another persons life.

[Guest Klingsor]

.

[nytaiji]

I can ask you the same question. How can you say they are comparable? I honestly can't believe you're on an SPS forum asking me that. Because I'm sensitive to it, that's why. I'm not trying to be a better person. If you insult me in a way that really hurts me, I'm going to lash out at you. My point was, I'm no longer biting my tongue about this topic out of fear of embarrassment. I'm no longer just going to come to a forum and bitch about it (although I will continue to do that). I'm going to do something about it. I consider it simply standing up for myself and men like me. If you do not agree, I respect that. Again, agree to disagree.

[Mardi Gras]

Hey OP you're badass, I like you man. Thank you for the introduction, it's pretty refreshing.

My contribution to the hijack is as follows: When I hear a small penis joke come out of a woman's mouth I immediately destroy her as well. I'll make fun of her loose flabby vagina from getting trains run on her and no kagels, I'll make fun of her fat, her makeup, whatever. Most of the time the next thing out of their mouths is, "I guess you're one with a small dick buddy!", my technique for that is to talk over them and say funnier and more humiliating things so everybody is laughing at them not me. I love doing it, it's....yup....for me this is better than sex.

[Whirlwind69]

Thanks, Mardis and Senior. It was a pretty refreshing experience - it changed the way that I think about myself. I've had exes in the past make fun of the size of my dick. Which, pretty much, explains why they are now exes. I'm happy. It functions. If they have to make fun of it, that's their problem - I could make fun of the way their brain functions.

[retsuud]

I can ask you the same question. How can you say they are comparable? I honestly can't believe you're on an SPS forum asking me that. Because I'm sensitive to it, that's why. I'm not trying to be a better person. If you insult me in a way that really hurts me, I'm going to lash out at you. My point was, I'm no longer biting my tongue about this topic out of fear of embarrassment. I'm no longer just going to come to a forum and bitch about it (although I will continue to do that). I'm going to do something about it. I consider it simply standing up for myself and men like me. If you do not agree, I respect that. Again, agree to disagree.

Again, that wasn't my intention for you to do! But apparently I'm not clear in what I'm saying so I'll try a bit harder with an example.

There you are, drinking a a little beer with some friends. Everybody having a nice time, laughing all around when suddenly...KABLAM!! Penisjoke. Some girl had the nerves to say something humiliating about a small penis. Oooh, how could the witch do such a thing. Doesn't she have any respect?! Well, now she is gonna have it!! So you start raging against her, telling her you could make a double mega whopper from her beefflops, while playing timothy q with her ears. The bitch is gonna go through hell the next couple of minutes!!

But what's that? Oh, you didn't notice that little girl standing nearby? She smiled so lovely when you entered the room that evening. Sure, she seemed a bit shy, but that made her even more loveable. What's the matter with her? She looks a bit sad now.. Is she even crying?

Turns out, that lovely girl's name is Elisabeth. Elisabeth is a great girl, very clever and oh so friendly. Only thing is, Elisabeth has got a big pair of ears and is massively insecure about her loose vagina. She was doing well the last couple of weeks (in a life full of depressions), but you.. yes, you of all people.. you managed to destroy that little girl's life with just a few words that weren't even directed towards her.

But yeah, well done! You really stood up for yourself! Be proud of that..

Don't be the same as the ones you hate so much.

[nytaiji]

I absolutely understood you correctly. You just aren't hearing me. I don't give a shit about elisabeth. Nor do I give a shit about being a better person. You're going to keep arguing about being the bigger person, and I keep telling you I don't give a shit. I don't know what else to say. Apparently you don't want to agree to disagree. So since that's the case I'm just going to end by saying that your analogy is absurd, and a HUGE reach just to prove a point. If you actually believe what you are saying then our views are so different that there's no point in continuing this discussion.

[Victimorthecrime]

I don't give a shit about elisabeth.

ROTFLMAO!!!

I sitting here w a bit of a cold and bummed out about 100 different things and that totally cracked me up. Thanks!

PS - hope things get better for you.

[retsuud]

So you give a shit about people ridiculing you over your small penis, but you don't give a shit about you doing the exact same to other people? Isn't that a bit hypocritical?

[nytaiji]

Yes that's exactly what I'm saying. And yes, that is hypocritical. I'll send you a postcard from hell.

[retsuud]

Hah, no that's allright! I was just confused, but I get it now.. Although, if they have these really nice ones with the dark lord in bikini, I would love to have one!

[someone555]

its not hypocritical, its giving them their own medicine

[retsuud]

its not hypocritical, its giving them their own medicine

Right.

[modestman]

I guess I prefer to take the high road.

Besides, it wouldn't be very sincere for me to say negative things about a vagina. I love vaginas.