Buggyflex Posted April 3, 2015 Report Share Posted April 3, 2015 So, todays my first day on here. I think it will help. I feel very lonely sometimes.I have bipolar depression. I was diagnosed sometime after christmas of 2013. I have manic episodes. I can't control my thoughts very well when that happens. I would always think about killing myself. I didn't want to kill myself. I was just afraid that someday I wouldn't be able to stop myself.I have high hopes for my future. I want to have a family so bad. I want to be a good mom. And I want to meet the one. I have less manic episodes now. I haven't had a full blown one for like 2 months. I have been getting like, mini episodes. Like neutralized, duller, not as bad. Why am I so bad at describing? lol. I'm graduating with my associates degree in may. The next semester I'm moving an hour away from my mom to get my bachelors. I am terrified. I hate being alone. I am fearful of my illness. I can't handle it when I'm alone. I mean I can, but the fear becomes a vicious cycle and I start to hate everything about everything. I basically decide that every aspect of my life is miserable. I do that to distract myself from my loneliness and my fear of a manic episode. I joined this site because I hope for someone to talk to when I am fearful or having a mini episode. I think this could be helpful.Oh. annndddd Im erica. Im 21. Im going to be an art teacher. I like basketball. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Resolute Posted April 3, 2015 Report Share Posted April 3, 2015 hi erica, welcome to the community, and i hope you find the support you seek.btw, i'm 32, don't know much about art, and i like football (soccer). see you around. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Buggyflex Posted April 3, 2015 Author Report Share Posted April 3, 2015 hi erica, welcome to the community, and i hope you find the support you seek.btw, i'm 32, don't know much about art, and i like football (soccer). see you around.Thanks for replying are welcoming me. I really like the site so far. Its an amazing support system. And a great way to fill my time. Extra time can make me get lost in my mind and this is a positive positive time waster. Nice to meet you. I started at a junior college last year and they have soccer as one of their sports! its so fun to watch! I didn't have soccer anywhere around me when I lived in missouri. When I move back I will definitely invest in some Sporting Kansas City (professional soccer team) tickets every now and then. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Resolute Posted April 3, 2015 Report Share Posted April 3, 2015 well, you've been a busy little bee, i've been reading your posts all over the site. have fun exploring the site. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Buggyflex Posted April 3, 2015 Author Report Share Posted April 3, 2015 well, you've been a busy little bee, i've been reading your posts all over the site. have fun exploring the site. I'm so excited about this site! It's just what I need! I discovered it on Tumblr when I searched the tag #bipolar. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Resolute Posted April 3, 2015 Report Share Posted April 3, 2015 you're so perky, lol. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Buggyflex Posted April 3, 2015 Author Report Share Posted April 3, 2015 you're so perky, lol. Thanks! I'm not always like this. Todays been a good day. I can be really mean to people when I feel discontent with my life at that particular time. I do a lot of reflecting on my life and it's usually not good. When I live in just this moment, things go much better. I also can just shut off when I have the slightest fear that I might have a manic episode.I feel so comfortable talking to people on here because we're all struggling. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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