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Resolute

farewell

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Res,

I'll respect your wishes and I won't try here to convince you to live, although the thought of you killing yourself troubles me greatly.

I think there's a lot you can offer the world and a lot you can get out of it. (sorry, couldn't help it). In the short time I've interacted with you, you've gone out of your way to help me and I appreciate that immensely. the world needs smart, caring people and we'll be at a great loss if you decide to end your life. thanks Res for all you've helped me with. you'll be missed. I also hope to see you back here after the 20th, and I would be proud of you for walking to the edge and turning your back on it

all the best and much love

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this is becoming difficult for me ken :( .

i am resolute, but only when i think the odds are in my favor; i'm not resolute when i know the outcome won't be in my favor.

i don't believe that a life without dignity is worth living, ever. "helping" others is nice, but it's not enough to make this hell bearable (for me at least).

this godforsaken planet has nothing to offer me anymore. no one can help me ken; not you, not anyone else. can god help? sure. would he? never. why not? because that's not his style.

i also don't wanna keep going back and forth to/from the edge. i'm tired of being god's pawn. no one makes a fool of me, not even god. that's what god does; dangles carrots in front of people and moves them around like puppets. well this puppet has had enough; i won't take anymore of god's crap.

ken, i'm really not interested in tony robbins type philosophies. i only accept logical reasoning and evidence. all the evidence suggests that my already unbearable life will continue to decline until the day i die; which i assume would be in my 90s (unless i quit the cruel game). that's a lot of needless suffering.

unfortunately ken, the reality of the matter is that no one has any answers; otherwise we would've seen them, or at least heard about them.

i'm sorry for being so bleak, but i'm just telling it like it is; no sense fooling ourselves. take care my friend.

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i'm sorry i upset you ken. i'm also sorry you had to delete your posts, and i hadn't even read your last post yet :( . you shouldn't delete them ken; they are good posts, well thought out, compassionate, moving (maybe it's just me, but i can feel many of your posts sort of touching my soul), and even contain some humor. it saddens me when i see your empty posts. :( even though i might be at the point of no return, your posts still mean a lot to me, specially considering your terminal illness and how much effort it is for you to type these posts. i feel undeserving of your time and kindness.

you're a very kind and caring person ken, and you deserve peace and happiness. please don't be sad/upset for me.

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Res, if a good friend of yours had written this thread, how would you respond to and support your friend?

i'd tell him i completely understand, and i'm there if he needs to talk and such. i'd tell him that i don't blame him one bit for his decision, and i'm sure it's the right call (considering that he's smart and competent). needless to say, i'd tell him that i will surely miss him, but will probably not be far behind.

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Guest Klingsor

I hope you come back if you change your mind or if things don't go quite as planned.

Yes, absolutely. Nobody will think any the less of you. Far from it.

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Guest Klingsor

I don't know if it's the 15th yet where you are resolute, but I will be thinking of you, buddy. I hope I will see you here again. I may not have access to the site much tomorrow, but wanted you to know you are in my prayers.

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Nothing needs to be final, res. You can change your mind. You can stay here and not miss your friends. My PM box is open anytime. If you want to actually talk, my phone is available too. There are people who care. Your life matters. There is no way to know what tomorrow might bring...peace, hope, love.

I hope you will stay safe.

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