I am trying figure out this online commuity

[Stevie J]

Hello I wish everyone well. I just joined last night. There seem to be positive responses and energy. I understand that my post will need to be approved at first. Do I have to do anything special to get my posts approved? Thank you. Be excellent.

PS I am not really this positive but I try. Smile.

[IrmaJean]

Welcome to the community, Stevie J. Can you share something about what has been troubling you?

It's okay to not be positive all of the time...but I think it's good that want to try.

[LaLa]

Hello, Stevie, welcome!

The "approval" process is here only to get rid of spam, so there's nothing special you need to write to be approved .

I think quite many of us aren't often very "positive" in our thinking, mainly in the context of our problems, so you don't need to feel to be too different here .

I can only second the question of IJ. Perhaps in other words: What is the reason why you feel like joining a community like ours?

Take care!

[Stevie J]

Thank you for the response. I don't want to bury people with my stuff. I seem to fall into regular deep depressions. As an adult , I have had 4 different therapists. They have each helped. The last one more than the rest. I felt that I had really made progress. Some of the things in my life are not situationally fixable. This therapist had encouraged me to work towards a career that I had always wanted. Talking to her gave me hope. She had to move with almost no notice. I got one last session and that was it. I have broken down and cried more in the last 10 days than I have in my entire adult life. I have gone decades without crying. When I have cried it is usually just one or two stifled sobs. Now, I cry uncontrolleably. This is becoming less, but I am losing or have lost ground to the depression. I just want to lie in a dark room. I don't feel extremely desparate just completely worn out. I can't see what is left. I am tired. I have my responsibility to my daughters. I do wonder if it will be just a matter of time before I fail them. I have lost all momentum. I really don't want to go on.

[LaLa]

I don't want to bury people with my stuff.

Don't worry about this at all. We are all reading and responding because (/when) we want to .

I can see that this situation caused such a depression . I would rather call it complicated grief. You're grieving someone who gave you so much and who, I suppose seem to you (at least unconsciously) as a kind of... "guarantee" that what got better will stay good, as long as you're in therapy with her. Each therapy needs proper termination and it's very unfortunate when it ends like this (I suppose you've seen here some other stories of people dealing with an abrupt end of therapy - the cases may be quite different but it seems it's always very painful.)

Have you considered finding a new therapist? At least to "resolve" this grief.

I don't feel extremely desparate just completely worn out. I can't see what is left.

What is left? If fact, you had accomplished a lot during your last therapy and I believe that this stage of grief doesn't remove it "from your head and from your life", it just made it "temporarily inaccessible" to you. What happened caused a strong reaction, but you can process this new situation, the feeling, fears, ... and then move on in your life, perhaps even a bit stronger.

Could you write more about all thoughts and feeling that this end of therapy brought to you?

Take care and don't give up!