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My so called life

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@Victimorthecrime  I just find - and I don't know if this applies to a lot of people who've had psychosis- that I can't watch films about perception, altered states, thrillers, sci-fi. That cuts out a lot of movies. For ages I didn't like watching a big screen either.

So I would just watch something comical now. 

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Yes, films/media can have an effect. I sometimes read commentators that say media reflects life but often I think it is more the overactive/odd imaginations of the writers. Then there are times when they use shock value to get publicity.

I like to watch stuff that makes me feel uplifted.

 

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@jazz

It's satisfying to find a film that truly fits your taste. Like Klingsor I can watch them over & over. I prefer old favourites to new films usually, but every now & then i get lucky and dig up a gem. I watched A ghost story last week. I don't know what to make of it other than liking it.

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My h enjoyed the Matrix, but that's generally not my kind of movie, though not because it is triggering for me. I prefer films about relationships (not necessarily romantic relationships) or character/psychological studies. Nice scenery always helps too. I do also enjoy uplifting movies and movies that make me think. H is geared toward action movies and I enjoy slower moving movies about people. It's always interesting how each person has their own preferences. I can watch over and over again too if it's something I really enjoy.

At any rate, it is nice to be able to relax and forget about life problems for a few hours. It's a recharge for me.

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Thanks for the clarification jazz.  I am 55 and I find I just don't have the time for what Hollywood is peddling these days.  

Once in a while I will catch something on the classic movie channel that will amuse me.  

Harold & Maude was a great movie if you are looking for something both comedic and uplifting.  You've probably seen it.  

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I skated outside last week. For the first 10 minutes i was fine, i got over all the bumps & cracks fluidly. But idk what happened. A switch went off & i lost all my confidence - with that i kept losing my balance. Sigh. 

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Tried ice skating last year, hurt myself bad. I was ok holding on to the giant seal thing when I was pushing my kid, but before that I hit the floor hard. Thank God my gf wasn't there, she'd have laughed her tits off. 

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I used to play in a softball league when I was a kid. I recall I was at shortstop one game and a ball went through my legs. I quickly lost all confidence in my ability to field ground balls. The next 3 balls also went through my legs.. You aren't alone.. Confidence can be vulnerable. You got yourself outside and did it. I hope you will try again.

I'm excited that it's almost ice skating season at the local college. I usually stay close to the rail, haha, just in case.

I hope you had fun, both of you, before you spilled.

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Hey guys,

I hope everyone is doing well. It's been a while since I have last posted - life has been getting in the way I guess. How is everyone? Feel free to post here and let me know how things have ben recently. I look a the sps sub forum now and then and it really does seem like a big problem. I do hope that everyone finds the resolve required to deal with their issues - no matter what they are. I had a moment of crisis last night and may very well still be in one. My life is not straightforward. I know that everyone here is lacking in some form or another otherwise we wouldn't be here- even for those who just want to connect with likeminded people. 

 

I remember when I first joined this forum and the months and years thereafter. I don't have any shame in admitting that it has brought me much in the way of excitement, drama, joy and a support group. I have met some cool guys here - some still with us and others not. I think sometimes perspective helps and though I have been in my fair share of bickering and spats, I wouldn't change that for the world. I think time either sterilises events or it gives them meaning. This place means so much to me. I hope you all are as well as can be. I do intend to post more! 

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Hi Small. I hope you are doing well and in a good place in your life right now.

I'm walking again, trying to get back into shape and thinking I might join a local gym this spring.

You'd asked me in a different thread if I had cooked anything lately. I finally had all three kids over for just a family evening. It's been well over a year since I've seen them in a lighter social setting. I made a stock pot full of chili, and a big pan of scratch made cornbread. It must have hit the spot, there wasn't any leftovers for lunch the next day.

We enjoyed a fire outside. I was just a bit wistful, but it was nice to have the kids all together in a lighter atmosphere.

I hope everyone's doing well here. I think about all here I've grown to know and think well of you.

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Hi @retr0john

I'm glad I saw this post, i very nearly missed it. All things considered i am doing okay. I've had a lot of ups & downs recently but have mostly been focusing on work. I've managed to find myself in a position where i do most from home & only got to the office for meetings, and that suits me just fine. 

 

I just got home from my sister's house where i spent the afternoon with my niece. We hung out, talked, debated & she put some fish & chips in the oven. I've been teaching my nephew a little more boxing. He's 8 years old - not completely coordinated yet but he's a big boy. Looks like he could have a heavyweight type build! So far he manages to stay in his stance with decent technique. He hits like a mule too. It's mittwork so far with very light sparring. (I don't hit him - he gets to beat me up & practices defending the occasional shot) 

 

I'm glad you're getting back in shape again! Were you terribly out of shape? Do you set KM targets or are you walking more casually? I haven't walked regularly since last summer & I'm hoping to get that going in the spring! I rollerskate too and that is a better workout than it looks :) What are you planning to do at the gym?

 

I'm happy to see you had the kids over & got to cook again. I've been rooting for you these past few months & it's good news. Do you have any more plans to get together with them? And have you got the appetite back to cook again? I don't cook myself so I appreciate a well prepared meal. I mostly boil rice & make a veg & meat stir fry for both lunch & dinner. For breakfast it's toast & scrambled eggs. (No drinking raw eggs for me)

 

Thanks for posting John. I'm happy to hear from you & hope you keep seeing positive developments. 

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Small, it was great to see you had responded! It's good to get grounded again. I suppose it time to pull my big boy pants back on.

I'm glad to see you've got into a place with your company that you like and are comfortable with. I have to admit I smiled when I read that part of your post. We could not be more polar opposite when it comes to work. I always enjoyed the actual hands on physical aspect of my job, and absolutely hated meetings with a passion. The few times I had to have a meeting in carpetland I was already in a foul mood before I walked through the front door. I think they considered me anti-social, but I got the job done so they put up with me. Different strokes for different folks.

So you're teaching your nephew to box? Great! It sounds like it's going well with him! Maybe, if you're so inclined and have free time you might consider volunteering some time at a YMCA or P.A.A.L. to coach and mentor other kids? It sounds like you're a natural teacher.  Just something to think about.

I've started walking again. I used to take long walks, but not really for exercise. Just sharing time. I had the jump rope and training bag for cardio. Now I'm picking up the pace and getting my heart rate up. All of the kids kicked in and bought me a nice smart watch that 'talks' with my phone. The watch measures my heart rate and half a dozen other things. I think they worry a little about me over doing it. I really don't walk for distance, but I walk for a set amount of time, keeping my speed and steps up. Yeah, it's amazing how out of shape and how many pounds you gain in a years time. I'm eating better, more salads and less fast food. I'm living about 40 miles north of the old house. I'm still out in the country. It makes for pleasant walking. A nice couple bought the old place. I'm glad someone has it that can appreciate it, but I'll never go back.

The kids and I do have one more thing planned. There's an indoor shooting range in Indianapolis. The boys are both proficient with guns, know how to handle them and be safe.  A couple years ago I'd been bugging my daughter to at least learn about them, especially the safety aspects. Now that she's a teacher and on the job she's agreed to go to at least one hour of range time and learn how to check if a firearms loaded, how to safely unload and disable one and actually pick one up and shoot it. She has absolutely no interest in owning a gun and has never touched one. That's fine, but I want her to know safe handling and unloading so she can neutralize one she's come across.

I haven't cooked something different or interesting for a long time. Chili, cheesy potato or bean soup, cornbread doesn't count. I could do those in my sleep. I watch too much TV. I was watching a travel show. The feller on it was hiking in England. (Lord, there's a lot of beautiful country side and sights there!) Anyway, he stopped at a small shop and bought a Pastie. It looked like a pie crust folded over with some kind of a super thick beef stew inside. Small chunks of meat with lots of veggies and a real thick gravy in a thick bread type crust. I was drooling.

These were just sitting out on a shelf. The young lady in the shop wrapped it in a piece of wax paper where she said it would be fine until lunch. It looked delicious. Something like a beef potpie in a folded over crust. I'm intrigued, and I'm going to find a recipe and try to make one (or two or more).  I like stir fry. It's hard to justify making a multi item, complex meal for just one, isn't it? I'll humbly make a confession, I love chicken flavored Ramen! I keep a case of 12 packs down in a cupboard and break one out for lunch. I know I'm not a starving collage student but I eat it because I really like it, not because I have to.

Small, I hope your life stays on a track that you like. Sometimes easy and placid is refreshing vrs. having a crisis thrown at you every waking moment. Springs coming. I can't wait to just walk and enjoy watching the farmers planting and the flowers bloom.

Take care!

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@retr0john

Got a bit of time to sit at the computer so thought I'd respond to this. Yeah I am an indoor cat if you ever saw one. I live in a medium sized flat/apartment and have done what I can to make it a comfortable little haven and spend most of my time in it. Have had to spend a little more money than I'd like on the TV, movie channels and a lot of the little things to make it feel cosy, but I guess it's worth it in the end. I had you down as a hands on man so I am not surprised at all. I actually am quite comfortable in the meetings but occasionally I lose my cool (internally) and it really pisses me off that I can't say what's on my mind at those times! I have to direct a small team and when it doesn't go right I am accountable - and it's hard to be firm when I have to dress everything with a ''please'' and ''thanks''. Ugh. 

 

I am not very good at boxing!!! The Christmas before lasy my nephew asked me for boxing equipment. He is a physical lad - enjoys the rough and tumble play and can get aggressive when he's frustrated. I had a chat with my brother and told him it's probably a good idea to have him box or wrestle - that way he get's to express himself physically and can learn a good craft. That's how we got started really. I got him some boxing stuff and figured I'd teach him the basics myself. I did box for a number of years and also did muay thai so I can teach basics. I don't think I'm schooled enough to teach at more experienced places. It's a workout for me too - holding the mitts properly gets me active. I would love for him to wrestle because he looks like he's built well for that - but his dad doesn't want him to commit to it since he already has other extra curricular activities (Kids these day huh?). When I was young it was basically school, cartoons, and playing outside!

 

I'm glad you are getting your kids to familiarise themselves with firearms. Especially your daughter - she may not like it now but she'll be grateful for it in the long run. I have only fired a gun as a child and that was on my uncles farm in the country. I actually got to fire two of his guns - a pistol and a shotgun. Other than that I have neither seen nor used a firearm. Do you own your own firearm? Do you like going to the range for leisure too or is it just to learn and keep sharp? Last summer when I went on a lot of walks there were times that I wished I was armed. I'm not a big guy - on a couple of occasions I walked past some rough looking guys and had I been attacked things wouldn't have gone so well :(

 

Good luck with making those pasties! I can tell you from first hand experience that they can be quite delicious. As a teen I went to a place here called Greggs (back then it was called Braggs) on the high street for their pasties and they were something.  I hope you get to join the gym and get back into working out. Do they have boxing facilities? Have fun at the Range John! Thanks for the well wishes. Keep your chin up.

 

 

 

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@retr0john

Slight elaboration on his boxing - When we first started he had a mean right hook, for some reason he was able to get his bodyweight behind it right off the bat and we have since developed it. At that stage he wasn't able to hold his stance even on the pads - and ended up standing square on and crossing his feet etc. Over the last year I have got him to work on his stance and technique a little. Once he got that down, I noticed that his straight improved considerably! He is actually a lefty so should be in southpaw - but he is more comfortable in the orthodox stance so we do it that way. His speed isn't the best - and he is still learning to be coordinated. I suppose the latter just comes with practice. He's just recently started to get comfortable with punches coming back at him without going into a shell. It isn't pleasant to take full on shots from him now his technique is better. They HURT! In our last sparring session I actually had to tell him to go easy on that.I just put up a guard, stand in range and roll with the punches best I can. I wouldn't mind stepping into a boxing ring again and sparring so long as it is light work. Anyway - enjoy your sunday. 

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