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On 25/02/2018 at 3:09 AM, Klingsor said:

You've accomplished the hardest part which is putting them on and rolling for the first time. It's all downhill from here.

Yeah I agree. I watched a few tutorials on YouTube but no-one emphasized how difficult it would be to put them on and stay upright & balanced. That so far has been the most difficult part of it all. You haven't posted in a while. Hope you're okay.

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I watched the Underbelly Files: Chopper. The guy didn't get Choppers mannerisms down as much as Bana but it was book accurate and not all bad. I also bought WWII (the game, not the event itself) but I don't like it at all. The graphics are worse now that 10 years ago, makes no sense to me. 

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@Klingsor

I kind of like it, it has that whole Crockett's theme thing going. Kind of like the soundtrack to a modern interpretation of an 80's movie. I do love the 80's pop/electro music, it's mood making. You don't get that so much in modern movies anymore. Or maybe the soundtrack to R-Type or something. 

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@YOTH

Did you watch the ufc card? I watched 3 of the fights. It was meh. LLooking forward to next month - Khabib vs Ferguson. Dana said that Conor will be stripped "when the first punch in thrown". That is so stupid. They should strip him during fight week - make a whole production out of it.

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Self Harm Update

 

So, I've been desperately trying to address my self harming addiction & there have been developments. 2 weeks ago the penny dropped & I was forced to confront my mental state - and how it pertains to my life. I've been lucky enough to make some changes as they relate to my driving forces towards self harm.

 

Since putting them into practice I have not self harmed, and my drive or addiction seems to be more controllable. I don't know what the future holds & i understand that the prognosis is never good in regard to relapse. But i'm serious about addressing these issues because the progression of my addiction, since it's onset, was aggressive. I was blindsided and was consumed by it immediately.

 

 

I'm not pretending to have the answers because I don't. I'm just trying to slow done my plunge into darkness. Self harming is truly a dark place because it symbolizes a conscious instinct to self destruct. My world is still dark and glum but that's nothing new.

 

 

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I was thinking about that not too long ago, but I didn't want to dredge anything up. I'm happy you've got a hold on it, you never struck me as someone who would let it consume you, but it's all tricky. We seem to live with peaks and troughs in this life and peaks are easy sailing, but we seem to be in constant change. I suppose that's good in a way, because there's always the possibility of a change for the positive. Good luck with it, mate. I'm glad you've found a system that works. 

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@YOTH

Thanks for the response. Yeah idk - well I fucked myself up a little bit & it was a real nightmare. It's like I was driving along some shaky road on the cliffside and out of nowhere I fall off the edge. The car is tumbling down the side - fucking me up a little every time is smashes into some protruding rock and ... I'm loving it. I don't know up from down or left from right, but somehow I need to land somewhere safetly. I don't know. 

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On 27/02/2018 at 11:19 AM, Klingsor_the_Capon said:

I'm alright. Watched any good films lately? I watched a movie called 'margin call' last weekend. Best newer movie I've seen in a while. It's about the 2008 recession.

I saw this too I liked it. Something similar I liked was The big short (2015). More outdoorsy but also based on the '08 recession. Strong cast too.

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  • 2 months later...

Things are bad at work Klingsor?  Have you been there a year yet?  Maybe start to look elsewhere.  

Just as a side comment, from looking around where I work (Fortune 500 corporation) it seems that there is no such thing a job where you use the computer where you work alone.  Everything is connected and therefore everyone is connected.  I see them pushing actuaries and underwriters into interaction that they really don't want.  Conference calls, meetings, user groups, "social media" style pages within the company, etc.  There is nowhere to be left alone.  

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17 hours ago, Klingsor said:

It comes down to figuring out how to support myself because I'm probably going to be fired or put in a situation where I'm forced to quit. 

Do you think some professional career counselling could help you identify some different options? Just a thought.

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