Jump to content
Mental Support Community
Sign in to follow this  
Andromeda

I know this is stupid,maybe

Recommended Posts

I have to go to see my teacher in my high school and when I think about it I feel like I will have panic attack. I know I dont have to feel like this,because Im now in university,but when I remember all painful memories from school,I feel useless like before. I was so shy and kids like to bully someone who is different I guess and I always had great grades.That didnt help.

So now I feel angry at myself ,because I cant get over it. I feel so ashamed and even feel guilty .

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

So now I feel angry at myself ,because I cant get over it. I feel so ashamed and even feel guilty .

I'm sorry you're judging yourself like this :(. There's no reason to feel ashamed or guilty. Of course it would be great if you didn't have any fear and didn't have all those unpleasant feelings and if you just went there as if it was "a neutral ground". But it's not easy to influence by your reason. Moreover, when you are harsh on yourself due to those fears and feelings!

It reminds me one situation: I had to have a very unpleasant talk with my supervisor and I was very afraid. When I told my therapist about it and when he then asked me about my fears, I told him, among other things: "I'm afraid I'll cry in front of my supervisor." And he said: "It would be perfectly OK to cry." I didn't totally agree with him right then, but... this sentence helped me a lot! When I felt I was starting to cry during that talk, I told myself it was OK - and thanks to that accepting attitude, I was crying only mildly and didn't feel, besides being sad, angry and ashamed as I would (if the therapist hadn't told me that)! With the anger and shame, my crying would become much more intensive, because it would express much more emotions, I'm sure.

So I imagine that something similar may help you as well: When you allow yourself to feel uneasy inside the old school and will tell yourself "It's natural that I feel bad here, because it's so full of bad memories, but at the same time, I'm aware that I'm so very lucky that all those bad things are past now and I survived and found good friends!" - then all the bad feelings (like a panic attack that seems to come) will very probably be much milder and go away sooner (than in a situation when you would feel shame and guilt in addition to them).

Good luck; I believe you can manage it much better than you imagine now ;)!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I had to make a phone call today and assert my concerns to my doctor. This still isn't a strength and I'm 47 years old. I was shy and bullied too during school, though I'm not so sure about great grades. :P I'm not so shy anymore and no one bullies me now, but the assertiveness thing still gets me. It's hard making changes. I hope you can be gentle with yourself.

What does the part of you who feels ashamed need, do you think? Comfort or possibly encouragement? Maybe offer yourself some self-compassion if you can? The teacher who you are going to speak with is another human being just like you, with insecurities and struggles as all of us have.

We're behind you, Andromeda. Take care and be gentle with yourself, if you can.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I can't offer much help as I definitely have problems talking to people, but what helps me is to try and focus on

the practical side, keep things simple.

...hmm, maybe that's not very useful.

I was bullied in school too, and I rarely spoke to anyone from there again, so I understand your not wanting to speak to people there. But I hope it goes ok.

Good luck, Andromeda.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

My theacher isnt at work now. My brother said that she is ill so maybe I will go before Christmas.

Thank you for support. I wasnt sure if my feelings are normal and I was thinking that maybe you will think Im stupid and pathetic, but you said that my feelings are normal

I feel better and I think I wont be so scared to go when I have to

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Thank you for the 'update'! :)

I'm sorry your teacher is ill... Well, at least it perhaps gives you more time to "get prepared" (?) for meeting her. I'm very glad to see you've accepted our feedback and you can see now it's normal to feel anxious about visiting such a place, "imbued" with so much personal history. I believe it will really help you to cope better with going there and meeting her.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

Loading...
Sign in to follow this  

×
×
  • Create New...