things to know and think: “What's the advantage of having this guy around?” “How do I feel about myself after I’ve been in his company?” “What’s in it for me?” Adopt the philosophy of “approval neither desired nor required.” After all, there will always be someone there to tell you that you aren’t attractive enough, perfect enough, or that you didn't come from the right side of the tracks. True confidence is born when you...Don't believe what anyone tells you about yourself. Another reason why
-I have NEVER told this to a soul....EVER... at the age of 10 or 11, I was traumatized in the woods by several older boys. Many pieces of my memory are missing. Whether I was gang raped or not I can't remember. All I do remember is the terror and humiliation once I made it back home. Those feelings of being chased and hunted have never left me. It manages to manifest itself in every part of my life. For over 30 years I have felt watched,spied on and being a subject for someone else's study. Gov
It's interesting the way a site like this can become like a family. Identifying with each other's problems, trying to figure out what to do when fights break out, watching each other make up, new arrivals and people drifting away. A mirror for us to see how we handle such things in this small world, before we try them out there.
Hum, I don't know. hence the note to self. I have to work on this, bit by bit. What is most important to me? feeling loved and appreciated being able to support myself through good, paying, rewarding work health, taking care of my health ----- Values being productive, efficient and useful. Hates wasted time, money or effort. Wants to see concrete, tangible results of actions. You appear to be somewhat motivated by power, status and success. The following is a list of the traits you share with i
Luckily I was in a more uplifted mood today and had energy to apply for 4 jobs. Two were already filled or the position disappeared. One was a maybe, the other one didn't cal back yet. But I am glad I am doing something constructive today.
How many times do I have to repeat to myself that it's not that bad, I am not that bad. In fact, I am quite good. I am a good person. I am smart. Yes, I am pretty down right now, and a lot of times I have a knot in my throat, I can't concentrate, but I will come out of this. I swear. To myself. I am taking some actions. It is not so terrible to be alone. And, I am not completely alone. I have good friends. I have some work lined up for this weekend. I know I feel bad because I see some of my ex
I think IamLove said it best, "Who am I and why am I here?" I speak up on here, maybe out of turn, maybe to deaf ears, partly to answer that question. I find myself asking it a lot, lately, and not finding much else in the way of answers. Perhaps I should quit listening for some voice (would it make me more sane if I heard one?) with an answer and get on with it. An unexamined life may not be worth living, but I bet there's such a thing as an overexamined life, too. Balance in all things.
Sometimes, I wish I were an Oscar Meyer weiner. Somehow I doubt that they have very serious problems. Of course, I may be wrong. Could everybody please just be nice to each other? I think we each have problems enough by ourselves without making more between us. I know, they laughed at Rodney King's plea, too, so I don't hold much hope, but I guess it's worth a try.
things that are. - place is a mess - haven't finished painting - car is a mess - less exercise - eating crappy food - taxes - bike all rusty - look for a job - a chair for others
I sit here staring at the screen. I raced to the computer. thoughts flowing through my head. I decide to sit down and actually write down what I am feeling. As soon as I sit down I lose whatever thoughts caused me to jump in the first place....*sigh*
Long-term studies of work incentives, behavior management programs for children, weight loss and stop smoking plans have all found similar, revealing results: • Performance and quality of work declines over time because people are thinking only about the incentive or reward, instead of the value of what they are doing. • If there is a loss of interest in the reward, people become less motivated to do the task. • The work becomes an unpleasant task that is endured strictly to get the reward. • Pe
I found this on the net regarding 3 intimacy-blockers, found here Feeling unworthy of love We all know the old adage: In order to love someone you have to love yourself first. I would add self-acceptance to the requirement for you and your partner to develop a deep and fulfilling emotional connection. When you feel unworthy of love, or ashamed of some parts of yourself, or your life, you have no choice but to close parts of yourself off to your partner. Intimacy is a two-way street that will suf
Yesterday I met a nice guy 'R'. He was pretty cool and we had a nice talk. But I don't want to get any further because I am still into C. He is not very athletic. He does ski a bit but not that much and in the summer, he doesn't do any sports. I don't know if that matters to me more than being able to talk a lot. Ah! Also, C texted me on Friday. I was surprised. He texted at 10:50 pm. Don't know if he was drunk or what. He just asked what I was up to...I said I was out, about 45 min. Then nothi
I received this message below, not once, but twice on the same day from 2 "holier than thou" family members in my email inbox a few days ago. Everytime I receive something like this I am more appreciative (now) I was not indoctrinated by any religion, but at the same time it's extremely frustrating to me. My spirituality has been an intense struggle through the years because of feeling like an outcast, a "sinner," inferior, unclean, "unrighteous," and also filled with many questions and paramou
beyond the obvious health risks, it sucks! -makes my breath stink for days -makes me look old -makes me lethargic -makes me smell bad -makes my self esteem go down, really down i'll add to this...
today was a bad for me. It felt like the world was crashing down around me. panicky, nervous, paranoid, suspicious, doubtful,sad, worried, and worst of all guilty. I am short changing everyone around me. a major trigger, my writing. I write at home, in private never showing anyone my true thoughts. NEVER have I talked about myself without holding back or hiding the truth. Usually when I meet people I will disappear from their lives. Many people I used to work with (its been 3 years since I las
In an effort to "unstuck" myself, I am reading "Learned Optimism". I am convinced that I can learn this. The author talk about 'explanatory style', which means how you interpret events that happen to you, and how it leads to a sort of concrete optimism or pessimism. What I like about the book is it is based on a lot of experiments, and debunks a lot of preconceived pessimistic beliefs that you can build up over time. Another very interesting thing that is perhaps a bit frightening, but gives ho
So today, I finally got a hold of a therapist that sounds good. A friend recommended her to me. She also is willing to let me pay what I can pay now, and reimburse the balance when I have a job. So that's good news. She can only start with me in two weeks so, I think I can hold of for a little bit. In other news, wow. I made a post to try and help another poster and got sort of bashed. Mmm. Well, I realize that my post may not have been totally perfect, but heck, no one responded to this person
Testing beliefs such as, "I am worthless. I am useless. I am a burden to my family." The therapist transformed those ideas into hypotheses about self that could be tested. Perfectionism A mixture of compulsive and narcissistic features. The patient put tremendous emphasis on achievement, systems, high productivity, efficiency, and perfectionism. At first, we regarded those values as normal, healthy, and adaptive, but came to see self as driven by beliefs relevant to the necessity for high-level
