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Continued anxiety

I woke up this morning feeling very angry at my boyfriend. I was trying to justify it & kept saying "well it's because I feel that he didn't take me into consideration last night" ... which is true, but I'm not really that mad anymore. A little hurt, but it will pass. I'm trying to focus more on the fact that I (somehow!) got through last night without asking him to come home. I did call once to see when he'd be home, and in doing so, ended up having to tell him that I was having some anxiet

amberlyn

amberlyn

A little triggered.

Just got done talking to my 15 yr old cousin. She's not doing too well ... she's been dealing with depression for almost a year now, is trying not to SI again, trying to stay away from drugs&alcohol because she knows that there's addiction in our family... she's just so down. I see so much of myself in her, and in her situation. I don't want her to take the same roads that I did .. I want her to be better than that. She's stronger than that. & she has a MUCH better relationship with her

amberlyn

amberlyn

Venting

OMG ... I swear that if it's not one thing it's another!! Finally seem to be a LITTLE less stressed, and now I've somehow f***ed up my hip! Why am I just some little ant underneath a magnifying glass?? MIL said that she thinks it's just pain transferred from my back surgery - but I've learned that it's not. It doesn't have the symptoms for it. Nothing fits. I thought I had a strained muscle, but no swelling so that doesn't make sense. Haven't seen any bruising. I don't know what's going on. And

amberlyn

amberlyn

Anxious.

This afternoon/evening has definitely been a challenge for me. I'm at home by myself right now ... and was planning on being alone for the next three days. My boyfriend is gone to his dad's so he can work on our new house, but that means that I'm here alone. My anxiety is through the roof right now - I won't even go outside right now for a cigarette - but my friend is coming over, thankfully. I have the greatest friends ever. One is coming over to stay with me tonight & tomorrow his fiance i

amberlyn

amberlyn

Lonely day

Feeling very alone today. I took my meds last night & this morning like I'm supposed to, but I'm still feeling down. Then again, I know that the meds won't kick in immediately since I haven't taken them consistently in a few years. No one is responding to my posts on here. Maybe this isn't the website for me. No one ever posts responses on my Facebook much anymore either. Yeah, maybe I'm not posting the most informative or thought-provoking statuses, but I've seen people respond to stupider

amberlyn

amberlyn

Meds.

I hate medication. I always have. I hate feeling like I don't have a choice to poison my own body. I am terrible at taking my medication for my Bipolar. Absolutely terrible at it. And I go through the typical thoughts of NEVER wanting to take them: If I'm manic - "I'm invincible ... I don't need meds!" If I'm depressed - "Life isn't worth living anyway, so why start taking them now?" If I'm stable (especially if I'm stable and haven't been on the meds) - "I'm doing fine. I don't need meds to he

amberlyn

amberlyn

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