I am finally getting through to my new therapist. She finally understood that she had no idea what I am all about. been through hell through almost the whole month of August. But slowly and surely will have a comeback in life. The only thing is my meds. so many and then she changes them again sleeping med. she put me on with clonipin is risperidal but the latter is keeping me awake surprise-surprise hell that's me of course backwards. On all new stuff [some] during day. Just keeping busy re-doin
I'm trying to think what went wrong. What is Life just to exist? It's not a pity party but I wonder why why & what the hell is it for. No trusting pushing new meds. Trying to deal with new therapist which I gave her an attitude Wednesday. Why is my mind just not working anymore as I want it. Very secluded want to enter the other part that I am but can't it won't let me. Probably because there is no soul to come back to. Because it was taken and gone never to return
I called my therapist yesterday. Suppose to call back today. I'm kinda pissed at myself shouldn't need her. Should decide on my own what I should do. Do not like Celexa feel to sedated changed it to nite then having hard time waking up. SHIT!!!!!
When you have got to the point where nothing you say or feels matters anymore you know that you are at the end. I'm thrilled my daughter is in remission so that again I have something to be greatful for. But I feel now that she is better that I now can go my merry way on letting go. I don't think that my life is going nowhere but exisiting day to day like I'm sure alot of people are the same way but, I have gone on to long feeling this way and it's to the breaking point where what is the purpose
Why should we care not everybody but, I am one of them I am so tired of pain family really my daughter. Then to hear people just dying so innnocent. I'm not sure if I'm angry or sick of being here if I had one thing to bring back I would of never had children. Not that I don't love them but, you can't love something you never had. I see my new therapist & psych this Thurs. the 7th it's going to be interesting especially when I say I want out of this state she already knows that I have said i
Been on here today & a little bit yesterday. I think that everyone on here that I read posts replies & everything else, are very intelligent and very intuitive people. It to me is more rewarding to me to listen and read. It doesn't make my problems go away but I have really met some people on here that I wish I could reach out & touch [good way] I of course have not been on here much lately but pm some that have helped me & I also am there for them. I'm not pissed off anymore it'
After reading a certain comment on a forum that I posted on, I really have no idea how or what I'm going to say to this person. I know I have to be careful on what I can say but yet I have to put up with F----- Up comments. Well better back up because what if I say something that also mite upset this person. Will I also be flacked but to this day person can talk anyway she/he wants no matter how it is disturbing to me !!!!!!!!!!!!!!
It's a shame that I have to wait another month exact day July 7th to see new med doctor. I'm use to waiting for myself for things but rite now I am again saying to myself what the hell you should be use to it. Also I have been feeling strongly for some reason that I don't have much longer to be here! It's weird but, hey shit happens. very angry at my mom should be ashamed to say but, why am I taking care of her when she never took care of me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
This is my first blog. I am having a hard time talking on here now. Don't know exactly why, things that have come back to haunt, my daughters problems, surgeries can deal with that, raising hell with my mom's lawyers today, having to call a plumber at 2:30 a.m. because my water heater blew now remember my mouth has been wired shut & will be for 2 more weeks to keep my jaw aligned, I can't imagine being the guy on the other end of the phone. First he said what the hell finally had to kinda bl