I was just over in my cousin's house and I never really noticed until now how well she gets on with her mother(my mother's sister). Unlike me, she's able to sit down with her's and talk about stuff and they ask each other how their days went and that made me a little sad because I wish I was close enough to someone to be able to do that. With my mother it's just really awkward and everything I say is stupid to her and she shouts at me a lot to tell me to shut up!! I wish we got on better because
Everyone's gone now. It feels so empty and I'm so stupid I can't stop crying. I hate being on my own. I know it probably doesn't seem like a big deal but it is to me. :( They've been gone like 10 minutes... that's all and I feel lonely already.
I'm having a happy night:):) I've decided I don't want to be depressed anymore so I'm going to fight it and do fun things that make me HAPPPPPPYYYYYY instead!!!
I feel really really exhausted. I don't know why but I can't seem to sleep anymore.. I just lie awake in bed all night and then I'm always wrecked the next day. Then I had to be up for work at 9 this morning and I was so tired that I had to drink lots and lots of coffee to keep me awake. I feel really angry aswel. It feels like all the anger is gathering up inside me and I'm going to explode because I'm so tired.. It's like there's a storm inside of me. I think I'm gonna cry. and my head hurts r
I hate work soooooooo much!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Ugh I just hate it. and I hate customers. They're so rude:mad: and they make me really really mad but I have to pretend that they don't make me mad and act nice and friendly when really I just want to scream:mad::mad:
Everything's horrible today. Yesterday wasn't so bad and everything felt ok and nearly normal. I keep hearing noises and seeing things moving that shouldn't be moving and it's really freaking me out. I don't think I'm gonna be able to sleep tonight. I woke up screaming last night because my door opened on it's own - dunno whether it was a dream or not. I think I'm going crazy.. I don't know whether these things are actually happening or not. I hate this feeling. and I know that everyone else i
Ooooh I'm so tired of being alive and nothing makes me feel better anymore not even drink. I just want to sleep forever and eveer and ever,. and then I want to fly away and be freee!!!!!!!!!!!!! and then I want a family who wants me. and I want a hug aswel. I like hugs, I'll soooo regret this in the morningg. Don't think I'll ever be able to change. the feeling is too deep inside me. :mad::confused::eek:
I wish summer would be over................ I have way too much free time for my own good. It really sucks being stuck at home everyday. My mother feels the need to constantly criticize everything I do and it sucks the energy out of me. Everything is so black and white and negative..and everything I do is wrong. and it's only june... I don't think I can survive 3 more months of this.
One thing I hate about being at home is the fact that my "family" seem to get some sort of amusement out of hurting me and making me feel bad. I HATE it. I don't know how I'm going to get through this summer. it sucks. There's this one thing they do to get to me where they talk to each other about me, even though I'm in the room, and they refer to me as "she". They say stuff like "Oh , that one's good for nothing and She has no future ahead of her" blah blah blah. I usually try ignore this and
I just want to say THANK YOU! to everyone who has helped me on this site and I think ye are all amazing and I really don't know what I would've done if I didn't have ye to talk to. Thanks for replying to my posts even though I've been so whiny and stubborn lately... I wish ye happiness in the future.
I Can't live anymore. I feel too bad. I can't deal with it anymore. it's too hard. Everything is wrong and nothing is right. I can't fix anything. I keep doing bad things and I'm sorry. I'm just in the way. everyone would be better off without me. There's no point to my life. I hurt.
I'm finding life very hard at the moment. Everything is changing and I can't handle it. Why come whenever something good happens to me it always has to end?? I don't want to be alive any more. It's too hard. I'm so confused - I don't know what direction I should be heading in. My heart feels sad:(
