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Just another day in paradise...


cindyh

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Well I had to take a break from all the madness that happened this past weekend so my son and I are here at my house is Hawaii clearing my mind and soaking up the sun :) It is so interesting and scary how unperdictable life can be! I always thought that when I got married I would be married for life, no ifs ands or buts...WELL now I am not too sure about that! I really do not know how to feel right now but am trying to stay optimistic about wither outcome. My husband and I have been married 5 years and it has not been easy...to tell you the truth I do not think I actually came to tems with the fact that I was MARRIED until April of this year. I know that sounds confusing but it is true, I think I was too busy focusing on other things in my life that I forgot to focus on my marriage and now 5 years in it is like we are strangers. He is having some doubts about what he wants and to tell the truth I cannot blame him. Ugh just so much going on...but I cannot focus on what I cannot control...right now the best I can do is fight for my marriage :)

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Great Phil Collins song :)

Im sorry your marriage is having difficulties.

The early years of marriage go by quickly - well it did with me, and to be fair parts of it are still a blur, what with my illness and the various hospitalisations, mortgages, work, jugglng college, different working hours, etc... there were times when me and my hubby didnt see each other for days on end. I was lucky I had a good marriage, and a good 10 years of us being together. The only reason we parted was coz I couldnt have children with him. We will always be friends, we grew up together.

And yes if your marriage is worth fighting for then give it you all :)

We are here if you need to talk, and listening, or if you want a friendly shoulder to lean on :)

Take care hun.

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I feel like the years have just flown by! i cannot believe my son will be 4 next week! Our relationship has always been a bit rocky seeing as I got pregnant right away and we had to get married after knowing one another only a few months...don't get me wrong, I wanted to marry him just not so soon :) Lets just put it this way, I was married and pregnant all in less than a year from the first time we met.

My job and his job keep us quite busy but we have always been really good about making time for ourselves to just be a couple. I talked to a fellow therapist here at my practice and he suggested that my husband might just be coming to terms with the fact that his whole life is changing...he is changing careers, his son is growing up, all of his friends are wither single or just now getting married and that has caused him to quesion his own life, marriage and choices. He suggested that I just wait it out but that just seems so hard...it is so funny that I myself am a psychiatrist and medical doctor and I am questioning another on how I deal with this...pretty ironic :)

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Its not ironic hun - its just the way it is :)

It may be your husband, is just at that age where he thinks "oh god Im a grown up" and have responsibilities, sometimes it takes a few years for it to hit home :)

I know waiting it out is hard - there is always the option of family counselling or mariage guidance. Is that something you could both see as a option as a way forward ? :)

[not tryna be funny - but yeah im gonna "duck" just incase :P]

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We have actually discussed some counseling but it is finding a time that works for the both of us :) He and I are so busy, but i know if he wants to work it out badly enough he will find the time :)

We know that us seeking counseling is best for us and for our sons health/well being both menatal and physical. I think you and my fellow therapist hit the nail on the head with the "oh my god I am a grown up" To be honest that is what happened to me earlier this year...one day I woke up and realized "hey I am a big girl now and it is time to focus on my marriage" you see I am very much so a mommy and daddy's girl...which when I was growng up was fine but now I see it caused some issues in my marriage. But since discovering this I have made it my main goal to focus on my son and my husband and "cut the cord" so to speakwith my parents, which has been hard.

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I never had a close relationship with either of my parents (if Im truthful I hated them) so I have no idea how difficult it must be for you to "cut the cord".

Im sure together you will be able to find the time to arrange councelling or therapy. Im kinda relieved I didnt have to "duck" out the way - Im huge now :D

Im sure you will get there hun, you certainly know what you want out of life, and where theres a will there is always a way :)

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