Jenna, I'm sorry you are struggling and in so much pain. And the fact that your family is not only not supportive but downright cruel makes this that much more difficult for you. Are you able to remember and hold any positive memories of the holidays you spent with Charlie?

I'm here and listening.

Your picture made me think of him. He loved the outdoors, I could almost picture him sitting at the water's edge admiring the sky, maybe pitching pebbles into the water.

I appreciate you being here for me, Beth. I appreciate everyone on this board for the words of advice and encouragement. Without those words, I don't know where I would be right now.

At this point, it's as if my mind will not let me remember back to the holidays I've spent with him. I've tried to remember all the good times and so few things come to mind. It scares me to think they could have possibly faded from my mind, especially when they're the only things that I can hold on to. I'm hoping they are in there, just hidden by the grief. I am also hoping they will soon reveal themselves. I need something besides this overwhelming sadness that swallows me whole on a daily basis.

Sorry for all the pain Jenna. Birthdays and holidays can be so horrible precisely because they are SUPPOSED to be happy times spent with loved ones. I'm trying to figure out how to opt out of Christmas this year myself. How to do it in a way that makes one happy?

Can you imagine a place in your mind where you and Charlie can go to visit together? Somewhere to connect with your happy memories of him? Maybe in the giant field of bluebells...Take care today, Jenna.

Awww, the bluebells..... I can imagine that's us off in the distance there.

Thank you so much.... oh, I'm gonna cry again. They're beautiful.

Just wanted to send some love and care your way today, Jenna. I hope you like yellow.

And a pretty sunrise that offers hope.

Happy birthday, Jenna. I hope that you are able to connect with moments of joy and serenity today on your special day.