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Paranoia


Blossom

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Everything's horrible today. Yesterday wasn't so bad and everything felt ok and nearly normal. I keep hearing noises and seeing things moving that shouldn't be moving and it's really freaking me out. I don't think I'm gonna be able to sleep tonight. I woke up screaming last night because my door opened on it's own - dunno whether it was a dream or not. I think I'm going crazy.. I don't know whether these things are actually happening or not. I hate this feeling. and I know that everyone else in the house will be asleep soon and it'll be just me awake again and then I'll start hearing noises again and get paranoid. And I know it's gonna be like this for ages because this is the way I get whenever anyone dies - I think it's my weird way of grieving - My family are going on a 2 week holiday soon and I'm meant to be staying at home on my own and I know I sound like a wuss but I so don't want to be home alone right now, especially not at night time.:) It's gonna be so scary. I feel really anxious.But it's getting easier to talk about how I feel here.

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yeah they are kinda scary... and then people have bonfires aswel and then all the little children go trick or treating and we give them sweets:) Yeah, I'm tired too but I can't sleep.. What time is it over where you are? It's nearly 2 in the morning here. Oh no, if my bears started talking to me and telling me stories....that wouldn't help atall..:eek: That would scare me even more... Did you ever see that movie about the evil doll that came to life called chuckie?

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NO, NO, no, your bears are not chuckie!!:eek: They are your friends. Just go to your right brain and they will be there. Yep, I'm pretty airy fairy arty:p Don't you let people creep you out about stuff. There is a place of calm and safety inside each person, and it is totally real. More real than the world even. You just have to know how to get there.:D Oh, it's around 9 at night. I'm actually going to turn in! Take care, Invisible :)

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I'm happy so long as they don't move on their own again or talk! I dunno how to get into the right side of my brain.. How do you know when you're in it? On the subject of dolls, I am absolutely terrified of porcelain dolls. Oh god they're so scary... My cousin has her bedroom full of them and everytime I'm in her house she brings me up to show me them and they're staring at me from everywhere in the room :eek:and I'm like NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!

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I'll bet you know more about being in the right hemisphere than you realize, you being an artist. When you are losing all track of time, that's when you are there.

I know what you mean about scary doll faces!! Clowns can be like that too.:eek:

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The hardest part for me is coming up with an idea - I have lots of ideas in my head but they're all jumbled up and don't make sense and I can't get them out of there. Really frustrates me.. I ended up going shopping and spending all my money instead of doing my art.. and now it's nighttime again.. Oh, I hope I can sleep tonight. Have a happy 4th of July:):D:)

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hey Invisible, how about sleeping with a night light? It might sound babyish but it works for me. I can't sleep in absolute darkness, I get all freaked out. I don't know why, but I guess that makes me afraid of the dark. Anyway the night light really helps, or you could always try some tylenol pm, that helps too.

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I overdosed on lavender and then it just happened!! I've also been working the past few days so I suppose that probably made me tired aswel. Did you have a good 4th of July?:P

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Good ol' work is good for something I s'pose... Yes! Had a great 4th. Got to go canoeing! Do you get to do any boating over there? I suppose the Atlantic is tougher to deal with than my little river...

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cool, no I've never been on any kind of boat... I'm very accident prone so I'd be too scared of falling over and drowning. I really should learn how to swim.. I'm so bored... I wish summer would be over!!!

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Oooh, canoeing sounds quite pleasant. Although I do know how to swim, my respect for nature keeps my feet on firm land whenever I can.

Invisible, do you have any books you have always wanted to read?

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Hey Kaudio,

Oh, I love reading but I always seem to buy crappy books and then get bored halfway through:D Any suggestions on good books? Did you have a good 4th of July?:P

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