Do you have health insurance? I'm certain you're not unhelpable. I do understand how it may be tricky for you, especially if you don't drive. You know, I haven't told my parents I am going, it's not required for people to know, that's why it's confidential. I am sure if all was stopping you was that you feel you are not brave enough that you could get past that. Believe me, I have a very huge fear of speaking to people, but I am doing it, I just kind of made the appointment and showed up, trying to convince myself, what is the worst that can happen? Don't get me wrong, it really is very anxiety provoking, I am just hoping that part goes away soon.

Maybe when you go to school in the fall you could take advantage of some counseling services they may have there?

Yeah I've been thinking a lot about that. I've checked on the college website and there is a free counselling service for students so I suppose I could give it a try.. If I go to college. I've been having second thoughts about it.

Is it sunny where you live? It's raining here as usual. I hate rain. I think if it were sunnier over here I would be a lot happier...

Oh, I meant to say I don't think I have medical insurance.

That stinks, having no medical insurance

Yeah, it's sunny here. But kind of cool for July, it's only in the low 70's.

Why are you having 2nd thoughts about going to school?

I'm scared that my art won't be good enough and that everyone will be better than me. and then the thoughts of getting to know everyone scares me too. I'm not a big socialiser unless I'm drunk. I'm also scared of being alone. As much as I hate living at home I think I'll kinda miss it aswel:eek:

If you get into the school, doesn't that mean you're good enough?

Yeah, I understand being drunk to socialize, I do it myself, but I try to remember that usually I feel really really bad the next day, thinking about everything I said and did. It is so not worth it to me. But than again, I now don't socialize at all, so I'm not really sure what you're supposed to do about that

And even though you would miss home, wouldn't you get breaks and vacations and such? I think after you got used to it you would probably enjoy being away from home.

Invisible, everybody's afraid they won't be good enough at something!

But see, it doesn't work like that. Everyone is special, in their own way. That's one of the things our parents are supposed to teach us. Yeah well, it doesn't always happen.

So we have to teach ourselves. At your age, I had applied to Yale and a local university, and for many of the same reasons you give, I chickened out. I stayed at my parents' house and went to the local school and I missed out on the adventure I could have had.

In some ways, I regret it deeply. And in other ways, I realize I'd be a different person completely if I had done it. I realize that, for me at that time, I did the only thing I could, even if "society" might call my choice a failure.

So my advice is, do everything you can. And don't worry too much if you can't. You'll still be special, either way.

It means that whoever interviewed me thinks I'm good enough. but in my head I'll never be good enough!!! That really should push me to work harder but instead I get artist's block and then I can't do anything for ages!

Ok, I gotta go get ready for work:( but good luck with therapy:) and thanks for helping me feel better.

okay invisible, I hope you feel better and that work goes well!

thanks Malign! Now i feel special:) I'm just having a really crappy day.. I suppose when the time gets nearer i'll probably get more excited about it.

PS - Sorry for my stubbornness today everyone:o

Aw, honey. You are special.

We all are. It just takes so damn long to realize it, for some of us. Just trying to help you to get there quicker.

No apologies needed. Everyone has days like that.

Whoooo I'm happy again:) (I think!)

Work made me feel happy.....now that's really strange:confused: Oh, and thanks Malign! I'm glad I met all ye guys here... I really don't know how I survived before I found this website:o Now I'm getting all sentimental...

Ha. You may never be sure; might as well call it 'happy' and see how that works.

You're welllllcome. :-)

The beauty of this place is that you can give and you can receive, whichever you need at a given time.

Yeah, I wish I could give more in return but I'm a really bad advice-giver.... sometimes I feel bad about that:o

Nah, like I said: whatever you can do. I've seen you be encouraging to other people. I probably give too much "advice", in fact. I think people probably need emotional support more than they need advice. I'm just old enough to have started to burden others with my experiences. ;-)

Nah, you always give good advice. Ya can never give too much of that!!! and you don't "burden" people lol. Well, you don't "burden" me anyway.. I think you're funny! I like having people to talk to here.

Invisible, I have to be out of town all weekend. Are you going to be OK? There are many people here to help out, I just would worry...

Don't worry, I'll be fine:)!!! I'm working all weekend anyway so I have that to keep me busy. Have a good weekend!

Thanks, Invisible. I will be working too! Going to a training. Take care everyone!!!