Oh dear...........................OH DEAR!!!!!!!!! That is so serious!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! . I am getting sick and alomost dizzy just thinking about it. There is no way I would survive. How do you do it, Blossom??????

hmmm, i'm really not sure.. maybe that's why i'm cracking up..!

Well if you knew how messy my projects are, you would understand my panic a bit. Perhaps some people can be neat and also creative, but not me. Are you allowed to be messy in your room?

my room is the biggest mess ever but i like it like that and i know where everything is but SHE doesn't like it messy and we argue over it everyday but i don't care because it's my room. she just can't seem to understand that.

You need a cute helicopter pilot RIGHT NOW to save you from your perfect house. SHEEEESH! That is soooooooooo mind numbingly awful!!!!!!

i wish!!!!!!! apparently the most important thing in the world is to look good in front of everyone else.

ahhhhhhhhh ............ have you ever had a look at Narcissistic Personality Disorder? At it's root it is pretty sad really. Still, to be the child of a Narcissist is not an easy road at all.

no what's that?

I will try to find something for you!

ok, thanks, i can probably just google it if it's easier

Is this too extreme, or does it fit a little for your mom?

http://www.mentalhelp.net/poc/view_doc.php?type=doc&id=560

kinda, the last 3 points fit but that's all

Well of course I shouldn't be throwing around diagnoses, but the point is, there could be personality problems going on with your mother that are not your fault at all. You need to be able to sort out what are her issues and what are your issues, and also, what have you been missing out on that you might need to go find?

i dunno what i've been missing out on

oh, wait, VEGETABLES!!!

Sounds like you have been missing out on empathy, being seen for the person that you are even if it is different from other family members, being loved and cherished for being the person you are......being adored even if you are better at some things than others are, being loved even if there are things you are not so good at......

Oh, yes, andvegetables!!

yeah, but i'm never going to find those things now. i wish i could but i can't.

it hurts when i think about it

Well no wonder you feel depressed, if you are thinking those things are out of your reach forever!

I know this is very painful, and I don't mean to cause you pain be talking about it.

[but it isn't all over for you, even if your depression makes you feel that it is]

they are out of my reach forever. it's ok, i don't mind talking about it, at least you understand..

Can you tell me why it feels so final for you?

because i don't have anyone to give me any of the stuff i missed out on.

It is true that missing out on that stuff is very serious and very sad. It makes tons of sense that you feel that way.

Sweetie, I love you and appreciate you, and I'm not the only one here that does. I know that is not the same, and it is just an internet connection, but it is true and it is something, and there are many more connections and experiences yet to come for you...... even if you can't believe me right now.

Thank you, that means a lot to me. i know i'll make lots of new friends in college but it's not the same as having a proper happy family and i'm never going to have that so i don't see how I'm ever going to feel any better.