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feeeeeeeeeeeelin' goooooood!!!!!!!!!!!


Blossom

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i had a nice day today and i feel kinda good for a change!!!:( i think maybe it's because i got proper sleep last night.. i feel verrrrry peaceful:) i went outside a little while ago and sat in the dark and it felt reallllly good because there was a nice breeze and it wasn't raining. and then i had ice-cream:D and that made me feel even better!!!

i hope tomorrow is a good day, it's my last day off work until nexxxxxt week... tomorrow is an important day, i find out for definite whether i have a place in the college i want to go to or not...up til now i've just been assuming that i have a place....i think (HOPE!!!) i'll have enough points....really, i should be feeling verrrrry scared right now!!!(but i'm not..:confused:) even if i don't get a place there, i've applied to lots of other colleges so i'll probably get in somewhere. it's kinda funny that i feel so calm!!! today is a funny day. i feel like i can control my moods better today!!!!!! i havn't felt sad allllllllll day and i havn't been up and down like a yoyo, or i havn't been like a cuckoo clock either( i don't think...) I feel reallllllly gooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooood!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

really, i should try sleep more often!!! or else eat more ice-cream.

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Sweety, how would that be a good cause?

You wouldn't be the only one starving ...

I know you want to love everything, and I believe that's still possible. But you can't ask for permission to live. About all you can do is be thankful for it, for the food that comes to you. Just like saying Grace.

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i think life is very selfish. i wish it didn't have to be this way:( didn't god put animals on the earth before humans..? it's kinda unfair that we decide their fate when they were here before us.

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I'm not that good on theology, sweet, but I think the usual idea is that he put them here for us.

I challenge you to look at a wild tiger in the face and claim that we decide their fate. It is unfair, in some ways, that we use our superior tools to decide their fate. Some people argue that our tool-making intelligence (and our compassion, that you're demonstrating) are what make us eligible to decide their fate.

The way I look at it, each of our lives was a gift, it doesn't matter from Whom. Use it wisely. Don't throw it away. Eat what you have to, to live. Do it with thanks for the sacrifice made for you. Give back what you can. (You could be a vegetarian who grows more plants than she eats, for example.)

There's a lot of sadness in the world without creating new reasons in your mind to make more.

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I know you do. Both, think and get sad.

I didn't make the rules and I don't think you're big enough to box with the Big Guy. If it's wrong, it's his wrong. Let him feel sad, if that's what has to happen. It's not your job.

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Well yeah, anyone with a swollen face would be mad at the Big Guy; it makes sense. ;-)

I'm sorry this bothers you, sweety. I would recommend you watch more Nature shows, maybe. It's not just humans who do this, you know.

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Mmm, I can see how that would affect a person.

Do you have pet veggies? :-)

My (wife's) son Alex is about your age (20, to be specific) and his first girlfriend has converted him. He's now from the star Vega. ;-)

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I think he does really like her. They've known each other two years now, and have been "officially dating" since winter, I think.

I don't get to see him as much as I'd like, but more than I used to. :-) A couple of times last month, at dinner with his mother.

I have to head out and eat dinner. I can't promise to stick strictly to ice cream, but I'll be gentle, I promise. See you tomorrow, little one.

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i dunno what the point of life is. i'm so tired of it. i hate being me. everything's so confusing. i;m so stupid. i think about things too much. one day is as bad as the next. this time last night i was so happy and now all that's gone and i'm back to normal. pointlessness. it's all so pointless. tomorrow morning i'll get up and go to work as usual. me and my stupid swollen face. even though i hope i never wake up.

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really, i dunno why anyone even bothers talking to me. i'm just a big loser. all i do is whine about how horrible i feel. i'm sorry for that. i wish i could be a better person but that;s not possible. i wish i was dead. then i'd never have to feel like this ever again, and noone would ever have to listen to me again. and i'd never have to go to work again, i'd be numb and i'd feel no pain and i wouldn't have to worry about how swollen my stupid face is. i wouldn't have to be a part of this world anymore. that would be good for both me and the world.

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i hate this world a lot. it's unfair. nothing's fair. everything's about money money money. stupid money. i hate money. i hate the fact that i work for money. i don't want money. all i want is to be happy and work or money isn't buying me any of that right now. i hate work and everything else about my stupid life. i wish i was dead.

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