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friends suck


Blossom

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i hate when someone says they're your friend when really they don't want you as a friend. i don't feel like any of my "friends" really want me around. i feel invisible when i'm with them. maybe i should change my name back to invisible. the only true friends i have are you guys on this site i think.. at least ye are interested in listening to me. it sucks when someone you thought was a friend turns out to not be your friend. even my cousin doesn't seem to want me around and i would've considered her to be one of my best friends but obviously i was wrong. i camped with her at the festival and she had absolutely no interest in listening to me. it was as if i was in the way. i was trying to have fun but she mostly ignored me. i thought she was just having a bad day at first but then we bumped into some of her other friends and she had no problem talking to them. she wouldn't even walk beside me, she always walked ahead of me with her back to me. i ended up crying and feeling like killing myself, not that she noticed, so i figured if i left her to hang out with her friends at least i wouldn't spoil her weekend. i went off on my own and made some new friends, mostly pervy druggie old men, but at least they didn't mind me hanging out with them and they listened to me. then eventuallly i met up with my cousin again and she continued to ignore me. i dunno. what's wrong with me that noone wants to be around me?

:):(:(

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Then, um, get other people? ;-)

There are lots of us, and you can't possibly make us all mad.

I'm sorry you have to sit there listening to that, right at the moment. But doing something permanent would be like calling in an airstrike on your neighbor just because he turns his stereo up too loud. Remember, like your cousin treating you badly, it's not really your problem; it's theirs.

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it is my problem. i hate this. all i did was i went out to the kitchen to them, my first time out of my room all day, i looked out the window and noticed that they got a new table in the garden and asked where they got it. then she starts telling me what a stupid question that was and how stupid i am in a really smart voice so then i start to ignore her. and she keeps giving out about me and saying how rude i am blah blah blah and then he joins in and starts giving out to me for not being able to fix his stupid printer for him last night. how am i supposed to be able to fix his stupid printer? what do i look like a computer genius or something? he kept saying in a really angry voice that i knew how to fix it, i just didn't bother putting any effort in it. so then i kinda snapped and asked them to shut up. and that made them really angrier and then i got told the whole story about how i'm a mistake and how cheeky i am. so then i reminded them that they started it. all i did was ask a simple question - where did they buy the table. then they got even madder and made me cry so now i'm back in bed on my own again.

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Wow, that is a stupid reason for getting mad at you.

Why let the stupid people make you so sad? I could understand if they said something bad about you that you agreed with, but if they just went off at random, like it sounds, why is it so hard to say, "Whatever"?

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it's so hard because this is what happens every day. sometimes i can say whatever but not now because it's all too much right now. i was already feeling bad before they got mad at me so i suppose it's not really their fault.

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Yeah, some days, our reserves are already depleted, and that makes the stupid people (there are some in every life) harder to deal with. But it's still their fault for trying to hurt you, no matter what.

How many of your new art supplies have you tried out already? ;-) You need distraction, sweety. And you're the only one who can do it.

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You could just scribble, the way I would. At least there would be some pretty colors. :-)

Sure there's a point in distracting yourself. Feelings are never quite the same when you come back to them from your Self. As 'finding' would say (she's quoting someone famous whose name I don't know, which kinda defines my idea of 'fame', right there), "being sad isn't the same as being a person who feels sad." If you can break out of "being" it for even a brief moment, you get to see that.

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i'm not sure if i can break out of being it but i guess i can try. i can't do any art right now because none of my stuff is in my room. anyway i'm not interested in art right now. i wish i didn't feel so flat.

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What did you do to her?

Is there a chance you could draw all of this? Angry You-Know-Who (yes, Lord Voldemort) outside your bedroom door in hair-curlers, your snooty cousin with her back turned in the mud at the festival, your flattened Wile E. Coyote self ... Then you could burn it, and all those feelings would just go up in smoke ...

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she wanted my laptop and i told her she couldn't have it right now. she can just go on the family computer anyway. she's making a big fuss over nothing aswel.

i can't draw anything right now. it's hard to explain but i feel like i can't draw anymore. i'm just not motivated atall and i feel so uninterested in art lately. i tried to do some drawing last night and i just couldn't. anyway, i have no fire to burn it in.

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Mmm, one problem at a time. ;-)

I'm sorry it's so hard for you to draw. I'm sure the feeling will pass, honey.

You still need some distraction. Can you think of anything? What do you enjoy doing?

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