I know you're not deliberately being difficult, sweety. It's a depression symptom not to enjoy anything.

But there's only one person I know of, certainly only one in your house, who can do anything about your depression, and she's sitting reading this message right now.

i know you're right i just don't know how to fix it right now. when i go to college things will probably get a little better but for now there's nothing i can really do:(

You always have you, sweety. You may not know what to do, but there's always something. Imagine you had a five-year old daughter, and she was feeling sad and empty. And then do whatever you would do for her, for yourself.

yikes!! that would mean i was 14 when i had her!!!!! ha that made me laugh:) i'd be such a terrible mother... i guess i'd hug her and feed her..

Heh. It's kinda cool that I can make people laugh when I'm not trying, and -- nothing -- when I'm trying. It's like I've got a superpower, but I keep putting the tights on backwards. ;-)

You'd be a great mother, sweety. Hugs and food are definitely two important human needs. So, um, why aren't you giving yourself those things?

it's the same with comedians, i don't find them funny atall..

ha no i would be an AWFUL mother!!!!! AWFUL!!! i can't get food til everyone's gone to bed. i'm sooooooooooooooo hungry, i havn't had anything since yesterday. and i dunno why i'm not hugging myself... i suppose because it makes me feel stupid and it's not the same as getting a real hug off someone.

What do you think mothers do, that you would be unable to do?

I bet you could get food before they go to bed. Now, I'm sure it would mean getting yelled at, on the way. You need to decide which need is more important.

As for hugs, while between different people, they're physical, and the physical part does help, to me, the important part is the emotional part. It's a way of telling a person that we love them, that they're okay, as far as we're concerned, that they exist and are special. It probably does feel weird telling yourself those things. But you desperately need to hear you tell yourself those things.

show love. it's ok i can hang on for another few hours for food. it's not worth getting shouted at again. you're right.

You show love to me, or 'finding', or starry, or JessicaJane, all the time.

And you're well aware, young lady, that I was hoping you'd decide the other way. :-P

that's different.

:)yeah i know! i'm starting to feel a little better again and i don't want them to bring back my bad feelings.

Not that much different.

You definitely need to stock up on stuff to leave in your room for the bad times. I hope you'll get something to eat at the first opportunity, if not before. :-P

i mean it's different because i can't see ye and we're not talking face to face. i have a lot of trouble talking to people and showing how i feel so that's why i'd be an awful mother. i think i might wait another few years before having kids anyway;)

and................sometimes i get soooooo hungry that i'm not hungry anymore!!! i hope that happens.

Mmm, I think face-to-face is shutting down something that comes naturally to you, that's all. You just might have to spend some time unlearning the shutdown.

But yes, I agree with you about waiting a bit. :-P

You know, hunger hurts, but it's just a signal of something that's true separately: your body needs food to survive. Even if the hunger gets tired and gives up, your body still needs the food.

i hope i can unlearn it!!!!!

and yeah hunger does hurt!! i never thought of it like that before.... i wish my hunger would give up right now!!!!!!!!!!!!!

how are you so knowledgeable..?!!

Well, um, some of it I've experienced, some of it I learned in school (I majored in Biology; believe me, everything needs food) and some of it I learned from other people. For instance, I learned a lot about right brains from you and 'finding'. We all have stuff to contribute. I had never met a brave ginger doggie before you, there's another example.

ha you're so funnnnnnnny:D!!!!!!!!!

Yah well, you're sweet and cute and don't deserve to feel so bad all the time. :-)

ha i think you're making me hyper!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! am i really sweet and cute..? i could be a monster for all ya know;)

You're sweet when you help people out on here, or spend time to find us pictures online.

You're cute because of the things you imagine, like the doggie, and which pictures you choose. :-)

I didn't really mean looks, though I've seen a picture you drew once that didn't show any monstrous propensities that I could see.

As for being a monster inside ... I guess you might be able to pretend really well, enough to fool me online. But I'm not betting on it. :-P Plus, my opinion is that if you're that good at pretending to be nice, even if you started out as a monster, you probably aren't one any more.

I didn't mean to hit the "hyperdrive" switch ... I swear I had this thing set for "happy but mellow".

awww... ok i'll try be "happy but mellow". i didn't mean that i look like a monster.. well i hope i don't anyway.....!!! but i can act like a monster sometimes. but only if someone makes me verrrrrry mad.... i think it's because i have red hair... sometimes when there's a full moon i go a little crazy too!!! i'm ok most of the time though...

Heh, you should see the pouty-face my red-headed niece can pull, when things don't go her way. :-)

You mean that you act like YNW (a monster) when you get mad, but then, most people do. What sucks is that she's mad at you all the time ...

is ynw in terminator too..? ya that does suck..

i've been told i have a pout aswel.. i don't mean to pout, i just don't notice i'm doing it..

YNW == You Know Who. I don't think she got a part in Terminator, but maybe as an extra ...

My brother, Delaney's dad, calls it her Boo-Boo Face.

ooooooh i get it now....

delaney's a cool name!!! i'd like a name like that! what age is she?

You already have a cool name! You just don't know it yet. :-)

She's five-and-a-bit; she starts pre-school, um, today I guess. They live a couple of hours away, and I owe them a visit soon.