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llbaker last won the day on December 3 2019

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  1. They assume in the algorithms that you are NOT "past" these blandishments, yet. They don't think you are as conscious as you are? More bluntly, they think you are fighting inferiority feelings still? Or is the ad aimed at guys like the tall guy? Aimed at confirming his self image?
  2. I ran into this quote in Wikipedia while studying Alfred Adler: "Adler believed that he had established a connection between homosexuality and an inferiority complex towards one's own gender. This point of view differed from Freud's theory that homosexuality is rooted in narcissism or Jung's view of expressions of contrasexuality vis-à-vis the archetypes of the Anima and Animus." The modern theory seems to posit inborn tendency defying cause and effect analysis. I was thinking, maybe all these theories are true for various subsets of gays. To the extent I've had some homosexual feelings, it is based on inferiority complex I think.
  3. Almost every woman I've been with except my 1st wife has suggested I might be gay. I was quite resentful of such questions. I'd ask what made you ask that? Do I look gay? I never got an answer and I didn't want to suggest any because I thought maybe I was gay just like they did but didn't want to pursue why at the time. Now, I can see they were referring to my non-aggressive personality, especially my lack of sexual aggression which they saw as the sine qua non of maleness. In women's mind if you aren't real aggressive sexually, you must be gay. They don't want to think they aren't attractive, esp. to real men. Prostitutes were very quick to ask if I was gay. Almost universally they would mention how gentle I was and mention how most guys were very disrespectful of prostitutes fucked really hard as if it was a compliment to me. Somehow I knew it wasn't a compliment, but I wanted to think it was. Some would hold my dick to see if I responded to gay fantasies or gay porn. I actually didn't respond to their probing, but could respond in private to gay porn if I made an effort. I didn't know if that proved I was gay or not. When I actually experimented with gay sex decades later to "decide the issue" I didn't get erect either, but must admit enjoyed in an odd way the dominant behavior of the gay guy. To put it bluntly, I literally enjoyed the "big dick energy" which I could actually feel. Maybe such energy is real as Reich claimed. I was glowing everywhere.
  4. Just had a new thought: I should have let her train me regarding sex instead of baling-out. I probably would have learned a lot within a few weeks that it took me decades to learn otherwise. I was far too principled for that at the time, however.
  5. I gathered she had problems landing a steady boy friend or marital prospect. She was very tall with no figure, small flappy breasts, thin shapeless legs, no butt, and a very plain face. I was an Adonis at the time, muscular, but on the delicate side, not thuggish looking. My erection must have been the same length as now, but I'm pretty sure it hadn't thickened much yet. Also, my body hair was sparse. I had no chest hair until a few years later. I think she enjoyed our go around, but was not satisfied at all, hence her desire to "try more things" next day. She was happy, hot and juicy, but showed no sign of orgasm. Of course, I didn't recognize that. I can still remember her big smile while I fruitlessly pounded away thinking she was orgasming. In retrospect it was pretty clear that finding-out I was a virgin wasn't a negative to her. She clearly was eager to assume a patronizing dominant role to train me and quite resentful when I wasn't interested though she continued pursuing me for quite some time. I think she saw me a very attractive and good "provider" prospect as I was about to graduate as a Professional and probably thought she could deal with my undersized dick. I felt really bad about taking advantage and leading her on, but, looking back probably didn't need to. According to reputation, she was very experienced sexually, allowing each and every date to have sex with her any way they wanted, sometimes for whole weekends at a time only to find herself immediately dumped afterwards, according to her gossipy, disparaging room mates and girl friends who could often hear her having sex in her bedroom. They hated that she brought so many stray men into the apartment, sometimes for days at a time. For decades I thought that's why her vagina seemed so large. Only over time did I realize all vaginas feel that way to me if the woman is at all responsive. Her friends ridiculed me for having sex with her when they heard about it as did guys I knew. Admittedly, in spite of all this, getting back to the point of this thread, I felt pretty great I was no longer a virgin. A big load of shame lifted from my mind.
  6. Wow. I never thought of the poetry angle. She may very well have thought that. She was very intelligent and an English major. She was into poetry!
  7. No kudos due. I just learned to "be there feeling like a freak with no validation as a male." Actually, I learned that in High School. At least in High School some of my skills were tip top. At the University level I had no redeeming value! In a few years liquor put me nearer the party game, but, even then, not really in it.
  8. I was good enough in a sport to be considered at the major University I attended though I had no scholarship. I practiced for a year on the "reserve/ freshman" squad but never made the team. Most of the guys who actually made the team became professionals. You might even recognize some of their names. Each and everyone of them looked well hung flaccid. Also, they all belonged to fraternities and I heard them talk in the locker room about the constant sex they were having. This was before "hook-up culture" so things were somewhat different. Women from what I could tell were still being categorized and nice girls and sluts. They would talk disparagingly, but braggingly about their sex with "sluts" who seemed to hang around the fraternities. They would pass the sluts around. I remember them talking about one as a "snapper" apparently meaning a very responsive, orgasming vagina. Maybe it was the times. They were fairly supportive of each other and only "jokingly" competitive. They didn't talk about their "nice" girl friends. I received no substantial razzing probably because my puberty had finally occurred, so other than my dick I was imposing and no one was looking for a fight. I was not in the fraternities nor an outstanding talent, so, really, I was not on their radar.
  9. The more I think about this, the more I think Adler was essentially anti-sexual (except for reproduction) like the Catholic Church. He may have thought any obsession by a man or woman about achieving orgasm in self or partner(s) as a non-productive or even harmful compensation for inferiority feelings in regard to being a "good, decent, caring, self-perfectiing person." So, the longing of men for the power to attract and induce orgasm in women (or gay partners?) by both men who can and men who can't IS THE PROBLEM, not the solution. In other words, "our problem" is not that we are handicapped sexually by a small penis, but that we are wannabe power lusters and exploiters. Can't say I'm accepting this outlook, but it does clarify some issues. On the other hand, many aspects of the sexual revolution (partially inspired by Reich, Freud & Jung) are disturbing. Instead of spreading alleged sexual satisfaction to all as originally imagined by advocates, isn't an even more competitive phallocracy among men being created and more severe "sexual looks derby" among women being created: hierarchies of sexual power that leave more and more people out, especially men.
  10. Yes, I agree with this. Any women who have disparaged my manhood did it very gradually as they came to realize I wasn't getting the job of their orgasm done, and certainly they did not target my penis for ridicule or even mention it. This may well be due to the fact, however, that I was never into picking girls up for a quicky or one night stand, but got into sex with a woman only after long association and mutual regard. Perhaps, it would have been better to get into sex early on by thoroughly getting over the fear of sexual rejection. A rejection of you is either a false dismissal (for unstated real reasons) or a true reason for rejection you already knew about anyway. How bad would it be to be told your penis was too small to satisfy a particular woman? It would hurt a lot only if you were trying to pretend your penis was totally adequate and, therefore, impossible it might be to small for a particular woman. Certain men however are into competing for status and position and will use anything they can against you in the most vicious way possible. Women aren't competing in the same way, usually. They are more likely to be disappointed, at worst, and often choose not to even show their disappointment beyond failure to achieve full orgasm.
  11. Yes AND the statement regarding his attitude toward sex as a "symbolic" arena in which to compensate for other areas of inferiority might be key. Unlike Reich, who I see you discussed in another thread, did not think sex and certainly not orgasm was important in itself. Interesting that Adler and Reich seemed to split of from Freud in opposite directions! Adler seems to be obsessed with "social betterment" also. Maybe he thought of sex being about rational reproduction and child rearing which you broached with your note regarding "emphasized the procreative aspect with regards to the woman." Maybe Adler tended to reject the sex obsessed as compensating in an anti-social immoral way for their status and physical defects. Adler thought compensation through "good works" lauditory, but through striving for power evil.
  12. Yeah, she would never say she was faking orgasm unless she was. Reminds me that a number of women I was with would fake orgasm to get me to orgasm finally when I was stuck pounding away with no friction because of size. The excitement of even what sounds like it might be orgasm in the woman can trigger orgasm in the man. Usually did with me, but right away i'd realize another depressing failure.
  13. I am pretty small. A bit more than 4". When a woman was very stimulated and secreting fluids, I would lose friction and not feel much. I would have a hard time orgasming, but eventually would from banging pubes to pubes. The orgasm was not very pleasurable. Certainly, the woman, might be stimulated and experience some pleasure, but never have an orgasm, certainly not one detectable by me. If a woman was not very stimulated and just lubricated enough to allow thrusting, my orgasm would be much better and quicker though it was very clear the woman was not reacting much and likely to be faking orgasm. I'm under the impression that a longer, thicker penis can bring a stimulated and well lubricated vagina to orgasm by contacting nether regions or a combination of lateral and longitudinal stretch. I don't think all the big guys are just bragging.
  14. The world has always been hip deep in blood and gore from war and slaughter, to day nothing of domination of women and other men, especially less masculine ones. By what process do you know that a man with a small penis can experience the same physical pleasure that a man with a large penis can? My experience indicated the opposite unless the experience of strongly stimulating the woman through penetration alone is not pleasurable for the man. I know failing in that is distressing and a severe drag on recreational sex. By DSM V standards a man with a withered arm who has problems adjusting has BDD just like man with an objectively small penis has problems adjusting to his handicap. The "disorder" is not being able to ignore it or adjust to it. The key is that no attention is given to the severity of the dysmorphia. Delusion regarding the degree of dysmorphia is clearly a mental problem requiring psychotherapy. Learning how to proceed with objectively, significantly out of spec body part is a coping skill. The 2 problems should not be conflated as they are in DSM V
  15. Decay? People have always been like that. Even those to "moral" to express it, feel it.
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