It’s hard to say. My life is stable at my age and I have all that I need but inside there is always a storm brewing. I just started seeing a counselor to learn about CBT. I am dubious about it as my M.O. is running away from therapy. The largest obstacle now is my dependence on an opioid-like substance that is readily available to buy on the internet. I take it for mood enhancement, pain and to relax. I won’t say what it is because of not wanting to promote it. Practically nobody has ever heard of it anyway. I need to conquer my habitual dependence on it. I live with a partner who is my age and she is BiPolar. I literally took her from the big city 4 years ago to a small town because I couldn’t take it there. We’ve been together a total of 16 years. When she is unhappy it’s unbearable.
Sometimes I think I am losing control and pretending it’s not happening. I am at odds with the town because I won’t wear the mask inside shops etc.