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Hello all, Looking for feedback and help in supporting my adult son (43) who is suffering from delusional disorder. A little over a year ago I was away on business (he lives with me) for 1 day and he called me to tell me a car was sitting outside of the house watching him. It grew from there. 14 months later he does not leave the house. He is on long term disability because he cannot go to work. Will not use his cell phone because he believes it is hacked. Doesn't go on computer because it is hacked. Doesn't want family or friends over to the house because the people that are watching him will see this and the danger might be heightened. He has an 18 year old son whom he is very close to that he now only sees or speaks to occasionally. He doesn't want to put him harms way. What started as 1 car is now 30+ people driving past the house, walking dogs or children past the house to watch him. In the past month he started suspecting the neighbors all around us. He doesn't know why they are doing this or what they have in mind but he feels threatened. He's not violent (thank god) and not one to confront (again, thank god) but he's exhausted, depressed, frustrated. A no time during these 14 months has he ever considered that he is sick. He believes 100% that he is being watched. He has this elaborate story in his mind that all of these people are working together and communicating to watch him. He feels that the only reason something bad hasn't happened is because he doesn't leave the house. He's seeing a psychiatrist for meds and started therapy a month ago. Both he is doing for me. He doesn't see the benefit. The meds take the edge off of the anxiety but haven't helped with the delusions. Doctor prescribed new meds that require weekly bloodwork and he refuses. He won't leave the house for the draws and doesn't want anyone coming in. Our relationship is strained because I try to rationalize with him on the things he is feeling, suspecting. I tell him that yes, the cars the people are there but they have nothing to do with him. It's normal life. I sympathize for what he is feeling but he doesn't want to hear it. He doesn't understand why I don't believe him, why I'm in denial. He wants to hire a private detective to find out who all these people are. I've tried to explain that he'll never get the answers that he is seeking. He's heartbroken that no one believes him and that he has to go through this alone. I've been researching investigators but would they take this on? The cost? Will my son ever have enough information on people to satisfy his fears? I'm looking for suggestions on what to say to my son when he's struggling to show support without agreeing with his delusions. Also welcome feedback on the investigator idea. lsue Thanks in advance

The war is far from over feeling a bit sick and paranoid were i live at probably from lack of sleep.i dont know. Ive self harmed this morning triggered by a picture of burns made me want to burn the whole thing mostly.didn't succeed.just really red and i put it away what i used cause mom if she found out she would hide it or lock it up.my dad doesn't pay much attention to self harm things i use unless its his razors. I believe i may have diabetes theres nothing here to eat most of the time band my dad goes to his shows and brings always back sweets i eat cause i like it and nothing else to eat. If my next blood test is positive for diabetes i will blame my dad cause he knows im prediabetic. And i don't know what ill do. But for now okay besides self harming im trying to make a book about kindness. Its 100 pages and i did it in a day believe it or not. I guess anything is possible.when you try and dont give up.

im going fucking crazy for even making an account. am i that desperate? for attention? what the fuck is wrong with me? wHAT IS THE FUCKING POINT JUST KILL YOURSELF YOU FUCKING DISGUSTING FUCK. shes fucking watching. who is she? IM SO FUCKING PARANOID IM SCARING MYSELF I WANT HELP AND IM JUST WATCHING MY FINGERS TYPE THIS ISNT ME IM NOT ME IM SCARED MOM IM SCARED. my mom doesnt care THEYRE ALL LIARS NOTHING THEY SAY IS REAL IM ALL ALONE im all alone with nobody. yesterday i was happy because i felt like i had a friend; but they i realized they only did me a favour because they wanted to get with my hot friend with big tits. i wanna be like her. weigh less than 110 with huge ass double Ds i wish i were pretty and sweet and girly so id be something worth time im fucking disgusting and i dont wanna live WHY DONT I DRIVE A KNIFE THROUGH MY WRIST I DONT CARE I DONT CARE IM TIRED OF EXPLAINING TO COUNCELLOURS HOW I FEEL EVEN THOUGH I DONT KNOW WHY!!!!!!!!!!! MAYBE ITS BECAUSE MY PARENTS IGNORE ME!!!! MY FAMILY HATES ME BECAUSE I LOOK LIKE MY DAD!!!!! THEY HATE ME BECAUSE I APPARENTLY ACT LIKE HIM!!!! IM TRYING I HATE HIM SO BAD!!!! THEY ALL LTOLD ME IM UGLY AND I HAVE NO DREAMS ANYMORE'!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I NEVER PALNNED TO LIVE THIS LONG!!! SOMEONE IS WATCHING ME CRY OVER MY WABCAM WHO IS IT??? IM GOING FUCKING CRAZY I DONT WANNA TURN AROUND HELP ME PLEASE IM BEGGING I DONT WANNA LIVE I WANNA JUST DIE AND DIE AND DIE AND DIE ANDIE AND DIE WHY AM I SO SAD ALL THE TIME DEPRESSION ISNT REAL I DONT BELIEVE THEM IM JUST CRAZY!!!! NO ONE LISTENS TO ME I SHOULD JUST CUT MY TONGUE OFF SOMEBODY PLEASE HELP ME PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE I WANNA DIE SO BAD I DONT WANNA BE HERE I DONT HAVE DREAMS I DONT HAVE TOMORROW AND I FUCKED UP no one listens

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I will see or hear topics which, I fear, somehow correlate from topics I talked about earlier. TV is the source where I usually notice these topics. For example, I had a bunch of DVDs which practically all were played on DirectTV, as if they were using my collection for their line-up. When I notice these "coincidences", I become paranoid. The state of being paranoid makes my life a lot more difficult and it seems that paranoia begets paranoia. For example, I started to imagine the possibility that They are trying to map or understand my "recognition" neural patterns. One possible reason to do this is to be able to know if I am lying or not. And that possibility makes me think that BB is involved. These simple connections cause great paranoia. When I reflect on these thoughts, I feel like I am losing my mind and do not want to believe it. Can anyone explain what the hell is happening to me and what I can do to change it?

I will be talking and, usually later that night, I will hear or see something, such as a word, phrase, concept or idea-usually on television-which relates to (almost exactly) what I talked about earlier; other instances can be inferred or deduced. For example, I would be making references to "Back To The Future" with my brother and later I will notice that movie being played on TV. In another example, I had a bunch of DVDs which practically have all been newly played on TV, as if They were using my collection in their line-up. These "coincidences" happen so often that they cause paranoia. And I refuse to let them become a part of my everyday life without knowing their meaning. I know that I could research to determine the schedule of the sources from which I hear or see them; however, I would still feel without the real truth. These things make me paranoid to the point that I do not know who, or what, to trust. It is very frustrating and makes me feel violated and hinders progress. For example, if I wanted to validate a new idea, I would find it very difficult having the notion of being monitored. The paranoia enslaves me. What is wrong with me and what can I do to help or protect myself?

HI my name is myka and I am 16 years old I just poured out alot of what I needed to say and it took my like 2 hours but my internet crashed so I need to just do a quick list of what I need help with I hope I put this in the right category I just didn't feel like it fit into any specific one. -Major depression -Due to being extremely mentally and emotionally bullied by my peers, and mom. People who don't even know me made a facebook page called "The freak of ida baker (my school) where people would upload pictures of me they took behind my back and talk horrible thing about me. I have even heard school staff talk about me when they didn't know I could hear them. and excessive guilt and hating myself My mom calls me stupid, lazy, retarded, and said that no one will ever love me. And she wont stop comparing me to other people it makes me feel so worthless. -Suicidal thoughts -I even almost went through with it once the only thing that held my back was the guilt of knowing that at least one person would be hurt. I have had two friends commit suicide and my school has seen 3 suicides in two weeks so I have seen the effects of it. -Self Harming -Social anxiety -I need to have major distractions to keep me from having anxiety attacks sometimes I even go to extreme lengths as to digging my nails into my skin so It doesn't turn into a panic attack. -Paranoia -Even with the slightest whisper or laughter i have to listen to it to make sure it's not about me. At it's worst I see and hear things that aren't there and I know they aren't but it's taking over my life. -Anorexia -For the past 3 weeks I've had anorexia and I hate myself for it. I'm 5'5 and 117 lbs but all i see when I look in the mirror is fat. I feel so guilty when I eat and my mom even called me fat yesterday. I have even stole some of her diet pills to do whatever I can to loose weight. -Lgbt -I like girls. My close friends know but my family and most of my community are extremely homophobic and I'm terrified of them finding out, they would kick me out and i'd never be able to see them again -Self-harming - sometimes I do it to check to see if i'm alive and not trapped in hell and other times it's to punish myself for thinking the way I do and having all of these issues -Very minor kleptomania -Bipolar -I hate this I lash out on people and I feel so extremely guilty for upsetting them which make me hate myself even more. -Imsomnia -I typically get 2 hours or less of sleep a night And I can't get help, I have built my protective walls around me way to high and no matter how much I want help from people and to talk to them I just CAN'T! PLease help me it's taking over my entire life. I'm almost having an anxiety attack simply from posting this, I have never talked to anyone about any of this so please dont judge me.