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Im actually having a real hard time, its been some months im on the maniac phase but sometimes it gets mixed, when i feel down and low. I have been into not so hard crisis but its been two weeks that im compulsively touching myself over and over. Im eating a lot, i feel empty and im not being productive. Sometimes i distract myself and try tp get over it but its not working anymore. I just moved and i feel like this is not my place. Im trembling all the time, and i want to cry. I feel like im going to explode at any moment and i start feeling suffocated, in panic. I feel guilty, everything is
I either have a form of body dysmorphia or everyone's lying to me. I'm not sure which one scares me the most. Here's a bit of background: I am a boy, I wear minimal makeup to cover my acne and I am about to go into high school. Also, I hate myself. When ever someone compliments me, I feel a weird mix of emotions that I can't exactly describe. At first, Its a sudden rush of joy. Almost like a, "wow, maybe I'm not so bad after all?" This sugar high of happiness only lasts for a few minutes though, because there's always the lingering feeling that they are wrong, that I'm not good enou
So, todays my first day on here. I think it will help. I feel very lonely sometimes. I have bipolar depression. I was diagnosed sometime after christmas of 2013. I have manic episodes. I can't control my thoughts very well when that happens. I would always think about killing myself. I didn't want to kill myself. I was just afraid that someday I wouldn't be able to stop myself. I have high hopes for my future. I want to have a family so bad. I want to be a good mom. And I want to meet the one. I have less manic episodes now. I haven't had a full blown one for like 2 months. I hav