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Found 13 results

  1. Hi there, I've been having this specific thought for a good while (maybe like 5 months now?), I've been wanting to cut off my hand... I've been self harming for about 6 years now and scratching my skin is very common for me when I can't self harm because I'm in public or I feel people are watching me. I have these little mental videos play of me cutting off my hand and I research stuff about it. I don't know why I want to cut it off, it wouldn't give me sexual pleasure or anything (that's what I saw a lot during my research) I just deserve to cut off my hand? I don't really know where it came
  2. So i went to the er the other day got my hand bandaged up thats about it for an infected cut.they didn't treat it in anyway just said i needed antibiotics.its been 4 or 5 days since i did it.i didn't let them do blood and when i did they said they didn't need it and now my hand is stinging and i can't go to my doctors cause my dad suddenly has work early in the morning.funny cause usually he just says he has work and never goes anywere. I dont trust it.one car is also broke so were stuck makes sense he didnt want to taxi us and that hed hide out somewere instead of going to work.doesnt matter
  3. The war is far from over feeling a bit sick and paranoid were i live at probably from lack of sleep.i dont know. Ive self harmed this morning triggered by a picture of burns made me want to burn the whole thing mostly.didn't succeed.just really red and i put it away what i used cause mom if she found out she would hide it or lock it up.my dad doesn't pay much attention to self harm things i use unless its his razors. I believe i may have diabetes theres nothing here to eat most of the time band my dad goes to his shows and brings always back sweets i eat cause i like it and nothing else t
  4. The system has failed me. Parents have failed me.friends have failed me.how could they not notice.ecspecially my dad i took the thing out every night and he couldnt figure out what i was using it for.they turned off the oven. Locked up the pills.im such a burden maybe adult services should take me to live some were else. Its finally finished but is bright red and yellow a good color.i stuck it on there so long im finally done put everything back so i can do it tommorow to.my mom will not notice my dad will not the system doesn't give a crap.good night guys hopefully infection sets in.as i
  5. I am having a really bad bout of anxiety and depression and I just self-harmed for the first time. I scared myself and I'm upset that I did it, and I feel guilty about telling my loved ones even though I really feel like I need to talk about this. It's not life-threatening but I'm scared and upset and need to talk.
  6. Laney girl

    self harm

    can someone help me out here? i just had a cutting episode and i feel really bad about myself. I also feel pretty guilty and i dont really know who to talk to about this because i dont want my mom to freak out and i dont really like my therapist so idk if i want to talk to her about it. I dont really know but could anyone give me some advice of any kind??? thank you
  7. I started cutting myself over a year ago and had quit for some time but now I'm doing it again. I can't stop myself even if I think about how I don't want to do it anymore. Ever since I moved to college I have been getting more and more depressed and my anxiety has been getting worse. I've tried to reach out to my school's counsellors system but they never return any of my calls and don't seem to care. A few weeks ago I was raped and that made everything so much worse. I haven't gone to any of my classes in a long time and I feel like I just want to take at least a semester off to just cool of
  8. This is a bit of a long story, but what's going on is affecting my mental health immensely. I don't know which way to turn so I guess I'll post here. I moved across the country back to the town I grew up in so I could be with the person i want to spend the rest of my life with. Him and I were engaged for two years, in a relationship for six years. I left him and moved to wisconsin with my sister because he was treating me badly and i wanted him to try and change before i got back with him again. He's changed, but he fell in love with someone else. This other girl is now pregnant with his child
  9. im going fucking crazy for even making an account. am i that desperate? for attention? what the fuck is wrong with me? wHAT IS THE FUCKING POINT JUST KILL YOURSELF YOU FUCKING DISGUSTING FUCK. shes fucking watching. who is she? IM SO FUCKING PARANOID IM SCARING MYSELF I WANT HELP AND IM JUST WATCHING MY FINGERS TYPE THIS ISNT ME IM NOT ME IM SCARED MOM IM SCARED. my mom doesnt care THEYRE ALL LIARS NOTHING THEY SAY IS REAL IM ALL ALONE im all alone with nobody. yesterday i was happy because i felt like i had a friend; but they i realized they only did me a favour because they wanted to get wit
  10. Everything has been going terribly in my life, I have so many medical bills, I'm in a ton of debt, my sister was diagnosed with Ehlers Danlos Syndrome and is unable to use her arms or legs. But then I met this woman and things started to turn around. She's wonderful to me, she's incredibly loving and supportive. My BPD and intrusive thoughts are creeping back and telling me that I don't deserve her and that she's just going to leave you as soon as she gets the chance. I'm so overwhelmed and all I want to do is cut. I don't know if I can make it through this time. I think I'm going to relapse.
  11. I could just do it. Right now I could so easily. So much of me knows that it's wrong and I'm terrified of myself right now but I just really want to die. I'm so sick of being here. I don't want to see all those people at school tomorrow I just want to die and never see another face again. I don't want to want to die but I do. I need help I don't know what to do. I don't know what to do anymore
  12. I could do it right now so easily. I don't want to want to die but I can't control it and I want to kill myself so badly I don't know what to do. I'm really scared of myself everything hurts so bad and i need to take my medication but I'm afraid that if I get up to take it I'll end up taking all the pills and I'm scared to leave my bed
  13. chex2

    Relapse

    I relapsed tonight for the first time in about a year and I just feel so sick to my stomach and mad at myself but still alarmingly numb. I let myself get upset over a small stupid thing like always. I never have a reason that makes sense to anyone. My dad and little sister are coming this weekend. I really don't want them to see the cuts. I didn't even stop and think about what effect it could have, I just did it. So stupid and selfish. Again. I honestly really don't know what to feel right now. Please help.
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