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Showing results for tags 'suicidal stuff'.
I'm definitely meant to die. That's probably why I'm so useless. Hell I don't even know if I'm allowed to post in this thread (I posted to the 'new members' forum thing once and stuff but I'm a stupid idiot who can't tell). i can't bring myself to live with so many horrible images and thoughts popping up in my head all the time. I am constantly on edge and everyone hates me and talks about me and laughs at me for it. my mom basically won't let me go to a therapist, and when I asked to go to the doctors one time she talked me out of it. My dad completely ignores me all the time, and if he isn't he is just teasing my sisters and I. We have to do swimming in gym class and the thought of everyone seeing how ugly I am in a bathing suit makes me want to die more. I can't stop thinking about what if I fail, what if I hurt someone, what if I die, etc and I'm tired of it all i usually say 'oh I'm too much of a coward to actually kill myself' but now my brain has scared me so much that it's either: put myself in a mental hospital (which probably won't happen, as I'm still a minor) or commit suicide. I've gotten pretty close before, I wrote many notes, but I was always too scared god I'm scared of everything aren't I haha maybe my mom is right, and I am just dealing with teen issues and stuff. If I am please let me know because I want to feel like a normal person for once