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So-- Things have been getting rough in my life lately. It's starting to become more than I can handle, and I want to find professional help. But, I have a lot of difficulty finding someone appropriate. The most successful therapist I've had was a very personable psychologist that helped me over two years, but I don't want to go back because of a snide comment he made to me. I'm also considering that my brain might be chemically imbalanced. I was diagnosed with ADHD at a young age, and I've been depressed since middle school--and now I'm a university student. I have social anxiety, and get panic attacks when my thoughts race until I have to isolate and distract myself to calm down any. Anxiety issues run in my family, and I'm wondering if maybe I should be getting some medical help too. Thing is, I've never looked for a therapist myself. In highschool, I asked my mom if there was someone I could talk to about my sexuality, and she found the aforementioned psychologist, so I've never looked for one myself. Does anyone have any recommendations as far as finding someone?
Hello, I have been on forums before but I usually drop off after a while out of fear of active rejection... Anyway, I still could do with some support at the moment. I was recently diagnosed with BPD, but I have been in therapy for severe mental issues since I was 16 (I am 24 now). This has so far included a couple of different day programmes, medication and support group, as well as one-on-one therapies and more physically motivated therapy. As of last summer I have also had issues walking because a truck drove over my foot (which sounds about as painful as it was; I have had three surgeries since, spent four weeks in hospital and was unable to walk or move much at all for nearly three months). Before and over the summer I finally was ready to start and try to make friends, but because I have not been much fun lately as I've been stuck at home, my new friendships have dropped me. Right now I am with my parents and I am not coping well. We have a lot of arguments and I wish I could go back to my own place, but they want to keep me here as much as possible, especially since the accident. They don't understand depression/anxiety/my emotions and think they are fantastic parents, but they have emotionally neglected me a lot over the past years. I have forgotten what it's like to be happy, and I don't know what I want to do with my life except dying. Each time I get depressed (which is a lot, I have been free of the clinical diagnosis of depression maybe two months in this entire year, and I am never entirely symptom-free) the suicidal thoughts are getting worse. I am currently at a place where I have been offered a new day programme. Because of my mental health I have been unable to complete an University course so far, and I will have to quit now as well (I have followed one single lesson after the accident because moving around is that difficult and my energy is at an all-time low so finishing the year is not an option anyway). While the new therapy should offer me some hope, I am extremely wary of it as I've been through therapy before and these therapies have broken me down, rather than build me up. They were very focused on how I made the other people feel bad, and how I should not do this, so instead I've gotten used to making myself feel worse. I don't know. I was not intending on making this a piece of complaints but I'm not sure if I want to talk about anything else, as my usual hobbies don't currently interest me. x
So, I've been going to this new therapist since August. I've been pretty candid with her. And in our last session she mentioned "oh, well you can always leave him" with regard to my husband. Which was kind of a shock to me - because none of my goals involve divorce - they involve trying to make me a healthy solid individual in recovery. I'm a rather till-death-do us-part kinda gal (barring abuse, and a few other of those sort of things). So, I was too in shock to say anything last week, but then this week session goes by and I decide to bring it up again. I wish I could remember if I told her if it upset me. But I brought it up and she was like - "thinking about it is scary." And I was like yeah... and I go on to tell her about how a feel about the whole through sickness and health deal - because my husband's been sick. And she carried on the sort of not now (which carried with it this weight of later). I'm just kind of perplexed. I know I didn't share everything about the session above, but I don't know if I'm overreacting. And I don't know how to bring it up with her next time I see her. Maybe just to write it out here: I felt upset still by your comments last session. I felt misunderstood. Separating was not a consideration for me, I am wondering why you alluding to it? What I feel like saying, though I think it's too mean. I feel like you put me into a cookie cutter. I feel less like your empathizing, and more like your going thought your experience and saying - oh - this is going to happen anyway. Might as well just prepare her for it. But guess what lady, I know the statistics for my situation. They are pretty grim. Most people in my situation do divorce from their spouses and I think that is ALL you are grabbing at while loosing sight of me as a person. It upsets me because I love my husband and we have been though crap together and we're still standing - and we're still working though our issues - individually issues and those that come from having a family. The things that upsets me most is that you've made me feel like I've missed some obvious thing in my relationship. You said it so nonchalant. I feel angry at you. And it makes that question of "how was therapy, honey?" really uncomfortable to answer when I trying to be honest. It tears at me. I feel upset with your choice of words.