I am willing to have a smaller penis just for that

[IrmaJean]

I have always been more about connection and feeling closeness (emotionally and physically), so I am okay with it. I have had to make some adjustments, but I still find together time with my H very enjoyable. The difficulty I had was more about the symbolism...feeling broken, defective, less of a woman, or ruining things for him... Those feelings pop up from time to time still, but I try not to allow them too much power. I know I am pink on the inside. I am still and always working on myself.

Wishing everyone healing and wellness.

[Lantrier]

IrmaJean, I understand you situation, it must be hard to lose something that we had before. When I had sex for the first time (and the last time), I think my partner was very desappointing that I could not feel anything, at a point where the person was angry at me all the time when we were together (it was not a healthy relation at all). It is something that I will have to face during all my life if I cannot solve this probleme: how can a person be with someone who can not have sexual pleasure? This is a challenge.

I stll have hope that one day I will experience sexual pleasure: maybe one day it will wake up. But How? Yesterday, I tried another product call Ultimate Libido with several plants in it that cost me 50, and as with maca it did absolutly nothing...

[Lantrier]

Just want to say something new: I have begun taking effexor (75mg), and it seems that I have more desire to do sex with someone. Maybe if I adjust to 150mg it will improve even more. I am going to talk to my pychiatrist about that.

[Resolute]

so you have sensation now?

[Lantrier]

No, I don't have sensation. It's more that I have more urge to do sex with someone. It's hard to explain, its like I could do sex without hesitation with someone that I found attractive.

[Resolute]

you mean horny?

[Lantrier]

Not horny. More in a sense that I am not afraid to do sex and that it can be beneficial to me, at least in a psycholoical way.

[sara89]

Hey Lantrier,

I think it's good that you try everything to solve your problem.

I probably should do more "trying" in this direction.

I have no libido, I'd like to have pleasureable sex as well (but mostly just because

I want to have a functioning relationship). I mean you can't really miss something

which you have never had.

I consider myself as an "asexual" by now, as it seems to be a word,which describes me best.

I really hope that you'll be able to find a way which increases your sensation.

But it's also okay if you don't find a way.

[Resolute]

Not horny. More in a sense that I am not afraid to do sex and that it can be beneficial to me, at least in a psycholoical way.

just be careful you don't overdo it.

[Lantrier]

Thank you for your support Sara89 and you are right when you say that its okay if I don't find a way: there are others persons who are in a worse situation than me.

When I say I am less afraid to do sex with effexor, I mean that I am less afraid to not have pleasure if I do that with someone. Because its not very cool to have sex when we know we will feel nothing: so the antidepressant help for that.

[Lantrier]

I just think about something: I had a phimosis for about 20 years, maybe this condition has hurt my penis in a way (in the past, when I had to urinate, the region of the glans was inflated during the action). Just a thought.

[Shrimp Fried Life]

After going 57 years without any sex or contact with women I would love to be in your position.

Personally I don't care about getting pleasure from my own body anymore.I would give up all the orgasms I've had just to spend one night with a woman I am attracted too.

[Small]

Try chemical castration for the removal of sexual desire & ability. You can buy the appropriate medication from the Internet or ask your doctor to prescribe them. They essentially deplete the synthesis of testosterone and induces temporary sterility. This can usually be reversed when the medication is discontinued. Good luck!

[TooOld4This]

Sending sympathy your way, llv. I was a virgin for the first 30 years of my life and was very ashamed.

I know how much it hurts, and i want you to know, you are a worthwhile person even without sex.

After going 57 years without any sex or contact with women I would love to be in your position.

Personally I don't care about getting pleasure from my own body anymore.I would give up all the orgasms I've had just to spend one night with a woman I am attracted too.

[Lantrier]

I have a theory about my condition. When I did a complete neurology exam at the hospital, they found that my prefrontal cortex was very low in activity,that it was abnormal. On the internet, they say that the prefrontal cortex is very important for the libido, so maybe if I try to stimulate this region it will help somehow. But the question is: how to do that.

[Small]

Lantrier, interesting thoughts on the prefrontal cortex activity. It's worth thinking about imo, maybe discussing it with a physician. To my knowledge though it's the Pituitary Gland & Hypothalamus that help regulate Libido which are a little further back in the brain. How was the activity in these areas?

[Lantrier]

I don't know much about the activity of my prefrontal cortex and the other parts of my brain: I was just repeating what my psychiatrist told me. But what I don't understand is that I have done a P.E.T scan of my brain, and it was normal, so why did he say that?

I have another theory about my lack of sensations, its about my mother and what she did to me: I have create a thread about this in the abuse forum.