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Asexuality


sara89
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Hey there.

My name is Sarah, from Hanover Germany.

I want to make the spectrum of asexuality better known in order to gain more acceptance in the society.

Basically being "asexual" means not to have sexual attraction to any gender. Some asexuals have a libido and masturbate, some don't.

A lot of asexuals want to have "normal relationships. They don't consider sex to be a necessary part of a relationship. Asexuals can have sex tough; you shouldn't confuse it with abstinence or a physical dysfunction.

There are also people who don't like romance at all, those are called "aromantic".

For those of you who are interested, have a look on this video:

There is a large asexual-community: http://www.asexuality.org/home/ .

Feel free to ask any question regarding "asexuality". I am happy to answer them.

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  • 3 weeks later...

Hello Sara nice to meet you. Do you have sexual urges/sensation at all?

Hey Draco,

in my case it's that I don't have a libido.

I really like the surroundings of sex like being close to each other and giving the other one something he likes. It can easily arouse me.

My first boyfriend tried really hard and is a great person, but the actual sex or related things to sex (like receiving oral sex etc.)

jud did nothing for me. It just got boring after a while.

I have tried mastrubating several times, it didn't feel good either. So I'd say I don't really have urges in this direction.

But I want to emphasize that this is only my story and there are many different asexuals on the spectrum.

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Hey Draco,

in my case it's that I don't have a libido.

I really like the surroundings of sex like being close to each other and giving the other one something he likes. It can easily arouse me.

My first boyfriend tried really hard and is a great person, but the actual sex or related things to sex (like receiving oral sex etc.)

jud did nothing for me. It just got boring after a while.

I have tried mastrubating several times, it didn't feel good either. So I'd say I don't really have urges in this direction.

But I want to emphasize that this is only my story and there are many different asexuals on the spectrum.

I'm sorry but I don't understand. If you have sexual sensation then why isn't masturbation fun? Is it that you have sexual sensation but you're not necessarily attracted to other human beings? I do get that because I went through a phase where I just wasn't into sexual contact from others but still masturbated regularly. It was borderline a chastity fetish. I'm out of that now though. Can you climax? Is it that you do feel sensations but you don't necessarily care for it? Apologies for the questions.

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I'm sorry but I don't understand. If you have sexual sensation then why isn't masturbation fun? Is it that you have sexual sensation but you're not necessarily attracted to other human beings? I do get that because I went through a phase where I just wasn't into sexual contact from others but still masturbated regularly. It was borderline a chastity fetish. I'm out of that now though. Can you climax? Is it that you do feel sensations but you don't necessarily care for it? Apologies for the questions.

You can ask me anything :).

What you describe as your phase is called being "asexual": Many asexuals have a libido but do not have a desire to sleep with OTHER people.

I am not one of those asexuals. I don't have a libido. When did I say that I have "sexual sensation"? No I have never had something close to an orgasm.

As most of you have a libido and couldn't imagine living without it, I get that it might be difficult to understand.

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Thank you for clearing that up Sara. So do you wish you did have a Libido and sexual sensation are you comfortable without it? How does it feel seeing others in pleasure?

It's easy not to miss something you have never had :). So far I have only seen my two ex-boyfriends and one other guy "in pleasure".

As I said giving a significant ohter this feeling is a great feeling for me as well. I can understand that my partners missed it to

be ablte to give me this feeling.

And this is the only problem for me: The chances of finding an asexual partner or a sexual partner who wouldn't suffer too much from my

lack of sexual feelings/passion aren't very high. I have been searching for an asexual partner for about three years now. I love being in a relationship: the caring, the cuddling, not being alone,..., I miss it. For this reason I wish I would be sexual.

Okay that was the 'whining'-part :).

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  • 11 months later...

Hello, fellow ace here! For some further clarifiction that not all asexuals fit into one neat little box, some aces DO experience sexual urges, some don't, and some are even sex repulsed. It really depends on the individual - the only real defining factor is not having a sexual attraction to other people. 

That being said, you can still totally find a potential partner attractive in that you like the way they look, but that appearance doesn't make you want to jump 'em. If you get my drift. 

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  • 4 months later...

 

On 2015-11-29 at 10:51 AM, sara89 said:

There are more woman on the asexual spectrum, yes. It seems to be about 70% woman and 30% man.

I also think that it might be more difficult for a man to accept that he's asexual.

@Resolute I don't understand what you want to say.

It's harder for men to accept themselves as anything other than a high sex-drive heterosexual male with a penis that needs to penetrate a woman and only a woman. I also strongly believe that there's more bisexual men out there than meets the eye.

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