Small penis suicide

[Demiurge]

Having an abnormally small penis is one of the factors that's slowly destroyed my life. I've never so much as even been huged by a girl. The ramifications are so much more than just having a damn small penis Its 4 even. I'm 20 and only 125 lbs. This is one of the things that started my clincal trement resistant major depression. I've had multiple suicide attemps, substance abuse and a self mutalation. Last month I was diagnose with PTSD because in middle school I was very, very small and was physically and verbally abused to the point where I would hide in my house so I don't have to go to school. After all of that occurred it significantly changed my life.For many years I've tried with all my might to repressed and turn off attraction to girls and a need for love. Because of having a very small penis no matter how much I unconditionaly love a girl and would gladly sacrifice my life for her in the end I will always be abandon, emotionally manuplated, abused and thrown away. I feel like a worthless unlovable cunt. At this point I don't even care about sex I just want a girl to hold me in her arms while I cry. I know that will never happen and I'm too worthless. At this point the only thing that keeps me alive and makes the pain go away is taking amphetamines and listening to music. Last week I was holding it together and I saw a beautiful girl about my age with a baby she loved and I fucking started crying in public becuase even if I live I will never feel love and sure as hell not have a family. I'm going to the mayo clinic in two days to my last shot at trement. If that can't do anything ( will I know they can't) on January 20 I going to shoot my self in the head, I found a trench deep in the woods. All I want to feel is love but it's so hard to repress. when you hear girls laughing and talking about how pathetic and worthless small penis's are this is what the other side feels like. The fucked up part is I feel like they are right

[sara89]

Hey, welcome to this community.

You will meet a lot of people here with quite similar experiences.

Are you one these people who can eat a lot without gaining weight or do you take a lot of care of your weight?

Yeah, I believe that high school kids can be quite mean. I am happy not be in school anymore, as adults are often more tolerant and definitely less mean.

People who reduce others regarding a body part and express this view in your mentioned way seem to be quite immature.

You sound like a kind and caring person. I am sure there are girls out there who will love you for that what you are.

[Resolute]

hello demiurge, and welcome to the community. i'm so sorry you're going through this, and i wish i had something positive to say. we are here to listen tho, so feel free to let it out.

take care man.

[Demiurge]

Hey guys, thanks for being supportive. I feel so hopeless. I don't know what to do, masking my reality with drugs is pathetic. Please help

[someone555]

Hey guys, thanks for being supportive. I feel so hopeless. I don't know what to do, masking my reality with drugs is pathetic. Please help

i have never tried to kill myself (though its a major thought a few times per week)

but like you, i have also self-mutilated, abused drugs, and have depressive bouts

to be completely honest, nothing can change your past or make it feel better. but the biggest "fuck you" that you can give to the haters is to carry on, and love life.

now to get to the facts, you should hit the gym. not only will bulking up do good for your body and your self-esteem, but exercise releases endorphins which make you feel good.

also wrap your head around the fact that yes, 4 inches is small, but it is completely healthy and completely capable of pleasuring women if you know what you are doing.

if you can make it through your past emotional and physical abuse, then the world will be your oyster. i can guarantee you that

[robert]

Dont kill yourself bro I know it sucks I cant really give you any good advice because im in the same position take care

[Lukaz]

Hey, welcome to this community.

Are you one these people who can eat a lot without gaining weight or do you take a lot of care of your weight?

I think the answer to your question is amphetamines.

[xarelto]

Hi Demurige,

I saw your comment and my heart went out to you. I'll be the first to admit that having a small penis SUCKS. I have a small one and it has been an embarrassment to me all my life. However, it appears that you identify your whole self with your small penis. You are so much more than that. Just imagine--how would you feel if you had a large penis, but were missing an arm or a leg, or were blind or had MS? I'd take a small penis over those alternatives any day. I sense your need to be loved and held and told that you are a worthwhile, valuable person. You say that you have never been hugged by a woman, and this is not because you have a small penis--there have to be other reasons for that. I've been hugged by woman who have no idea of the size of my penis.

I would like to be your friend, to correspond with you and give you what support I can.. You sound so very alone. I think you could use a good friend. Let me know.

Xarelto

[ShameOnThem]

Hey guys, thanks for being supportive. I feel so hopeless. I don't know what to do, masking my reality with drugs is pathetic. Please help

Welcome, Demiurge. I think you've already done the big first thing, which is to ask for help. Maybe you've only been able to do this online, which is a good step, but you should also do this in person. I know for certain that there are people in your life who would drop everything and come to your aid if they knew the true depth of your struggles. That is the true nature of humans, we want to help eachother.

Maybe if you can seek help just for the drug abuse, because it sounds like that's what it is "abuse", then you don't have to discuss your penis size insecurity IRL. You are using drugs to mask real pain, and IMHO that isn't a good formula because you need to address the root cause of the pain. And I hope that this site can help you address your issues with your penis specifically.

I'm not a 100% success story, but I hooked up with a random chick from a bar a while back and she was blowing up my phone trying to get a second date. I'm 4.5" x 4.5", and I told her we wouldn't be having sex beforehand, but I made her feel beautiful and I used my hands and mouth and she was going bonkers. She gave me a BJ (which I'm not a huge fan of apparently, idk) and she knew what I was working with, but it didn't stop her from having a great time and wanting to date me, because humans crave companionship and orgams. It's drilled in our heads that because we are on the wrong side of the bell curve, that we cannot be highly competent members of sexual relationships, but this is pure bullshit. Sex is only a part of a healthy, loving relationship, and the entire goal of sex is for you and your partner to have as many orgasms as possible, and there is absolutely nothing that having a small penis has to do with dishing out orgasms. Most women do not orgasm from PIV sex anyways, regardless of penis size, because they need direct clittoral stimulation, and Lesbians manage to have highly successful sexual relationships without any penis present at all. All having a below average penis means for us is that we can't just stick our dicks in, ram away, and leave the woman breathlessly satisfied once we're done ramming. But this is a myth anyways, real life isn't porn, and women complain about this type of behavior from men of all sizes, sex is way more than just a penis and a vagina, and if we're more aware of this and have the right attitude towards it we can be excellent sex-havers.

Some women are going to have preferences that we do not conform to, and some people in the world like to be mean to others and make them feel bad about themselves. But there are women out there to whom our dicks would be more than enough, given that we are loving, compassionate, considerate, and faithful lovers. But nobody is going to love us unless we love ourselves. So my advice to you is to work on loving yourself and you will have no problem finding others to do the same.

[Victimorthecrime]

Well said ShameOnThem!

[BritKid]

I can relate demiurge. Luckily (or maybe unluckily), I have other more major reasons to commit suicide but just wanted to say you're not alone.

[Lukaz]

Guys suicide isn't the answer, you don't have to conform, be like everyone else, fuck around, be studs, be valued only by what you can put on your dick. As humans we are worth more than that. Still it can be sad and lonely sometimes but you can still have friends and lovers if you so desire and if you don't maybe it's not your dick holding you back. Please remember that this is both a psychical and psychological affliction and while we can do little about the physical we can think differently. These rotting carcases may define us on the outside to others but they do not have to define us to ourselves, we are not our bodies but our minds.