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Finally some good news.


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Well, finally some good news. I lost my virginity. Dunno if y'all want me to go into vivid detail but obviously it was exhilarating and certainly went better than expected. And guess what? The girl is fuckin ideal. Imagine a 19 year old 5' 2" 92 lb (but not that skinny) C cup breast having beautiful Russian girl. She has only had sex with one other guy and apparently he didn't last longer then 2 minutes. It's true I did not cum because she did not want me to. We were making out I dunno if y'all want all the details but she must've felt my erection on her leg then grabbed my dick only a few minutes into making out. I must be a sexy motherfucker. She was obviously sexually inexperienced and I don't think she could tell it was my first time. And guess what? Her pussy was tight and her mouth was small. I've really caught feelings for this girl but she has just gotten out of a major relationship so she can't just jump back into one and I might be a rebound. We'll see but I really want to get into a relationship with her. So I figured I would come on here to post about it, not just to be some self promoting narcissist, but to offer hope to others out there who like me thought they were doomed to virginity or being single their whole life. At the ripe old age of 27 I have lost my virginity. It is possible and the right girl does exist out there for you, although if things don't work out with this girl I will be crushed. The interesting thing is I don't actually feel that different. I don't feel like a totally different person or all of a sudden a complete success. I feel happy I am starting to get over my SPS and feel as though I am on the cusp of my first relationship, but we'll see. What I really want is her to be my gf. Now I am not a virgin and I suppose I should feel some pride in that. Remember I am someone who has had a lot of suicidal thoughts fixating on my penis size. I've been doing things a lot over these past months to deal with my mental problem though:

-Started writing a manifesto, getting 5 pages in about what I want from my life, why I am not happy and what I am going to do about it. So much more productive then sitting around whining and moping.

-Drastically reduced the amount of pornography I viewed of actual sex. Instead I bought a subscription to Playboy Plus and started masturbating to the models on there. What is the difference? The difference is I am not watching another man with a big dick fuck a girl, I'm imagining myself fucking a beautiful girl and the things I would like to do with their body. My fantasies changed to that of being an active participant rather than a passive observer. Small penised men who have never had sex, watching men with big dicks fuck girls is fundamentally unhealthy, because it gives us the impression a big dick is necessary for sex or good sex. I swear this is crucial to my success. Now I watch pornography of people having sex 1-3 times a week whereas I used to 1-3 times a day. The amount of time I spend even seeing other men's peni is now drastically reduced.

-Changed my attitude about hooking up. I realized hooking up caused me agony because of the fear of humiliation due to dissatisfaction on the part of my partner. But I realized just like a woman, it was not my obligation to have sex with someone when you are hooking up with them. It can be fun to just hook up and not have sex and you don't owe them anything. Making out with randoms, going on a few dates with girl but not having sex with them and realizing there is no chemistry, is a good way to work up to having sex with someone who you feel like you really have connection with. There is definitely an aspect of inverted narcissism to this disorder, the idea that we exist as objects to please the woman rather than active participants there for our own pleasure. Don't feel ashamed to make out with a girl and not fuck her, you don't owe her anything and gotta stop putting them on a pedestal to get over this.

-Tried my best to engage in positive thinking, reminding myself of my good traits, reminding myself that while many women do care a lot about size a lot do not and out of fuckin 7 billion I should be able to find at least one. This is basic CBT and better you try rather than just give up because it's "tricking yourself". It's not. It's reframing your perspective on life. It's reminding yourself of you positive traits not your negative ones.You're fine, it's others who think there's something wrong with you. Keep that in mind.

-I'm trepidatious about mentioning this b/c I think you are all going to focus on this in order to reject everything I have said thus far. But I have ceased measuring my penis with a tailor's tape to see how big it is. It doesn't matter how big it is because my body is fine. It's others who have a problem with my body and it's my choice whether or not to react to that. The other thing is I started penis enlargement exercises. These are exercises I formulated myself rather than jelqing but they have allowed me to get more confident. I dunno if y'all want me to vividly explain these exercises but I think they may have made my penis bigger. I'm not sure though because I don't measure any more. The point is to be confident with what you got and work on getting to your full erection every time you get hard. Cut off some of the blood at the base then let it loose once you feel it start to hurt and be very careful with yourself. Realize you have sex for your pleasure not anyone else's and how hard your penis gets also effects there experience of it. Working on getting fully erect and some penis enlargement exercises makes me think I am "the best I can be" as in, at least I am trying to get bigger rather than moping about how doomed I am. Reframing the problem, rather than as something which has doomed you, but as something which can be overcome, is essential.

-Find an inexperienced girl! When I found out the girl had only had sex with one guy and he only lasted 2 minutes I felt so immensely confident. I figured "how could I be worse than him?" She stayed with him for almost a year anyway, even though he sucked in bed, so it shows she'll be in a relationship with a guy who sucks in bed anyway because she likes him and a lot of sex to her is pleasing her partner. She's not the only girl like this, if I found one you can too.

-A lot of people who have sex are bad at it, even if they have normal or even big peni. Think about every rockstar and rapper and actor who is highly desired. Are all them good in bed, probably not, but I bet they still get pussy. People who are bad in bed still get pussy, so you can to. If you have sex with a beautiful woman, but disappoint her, guess what? You still had sex with a beautiful woman which is sure better than nothing.

-Own the fact you're not big. This can be tricky because it can be humiliating, but every so often make a self deprecating joke or something hinting you have a small dick or are bad in bed. I dunno, this seems like a better attitude then walking around in fear that at any moment your "secret" will be discovered and there is something grossly wrong with you.

-An interesting tidbit: this girl is fucking dime piece. I mean she is beautiful. If I were to post a pic of her (which I won't) you guys would all agree with me. And guess what? even though she wanted to have sex, she would not take her clothes off. She just pulled up her skirt and moved her panties to the side. Even though this girl was fucking beautiful, she was still too ashamed of her beautiful body to get naked in front of me. Remind you of anyone? Yeah, you are just like her, convinced there's something wrong with you, when you're fine. Basically EVERY girl, even the ones you lust after and think are unattainable are insecure about their bodies. Yes, just like you. We see them and know they are beautiful even though they are convinced there is something wrong with them. That's just like you. Maybe someone will find sex with you and your body, more fulfilling than you realize.

So remain hopeful. I wouldn't go so far as to say I am "cured" but I have made immense progress. I mean I accomplished something I seriously thought would never happen. I am so much more optimistic. Now I want a relationship though. Actually having sex hasn't drastically changed me. The hope has been lit in me now though, that I can have a great relationship, but I could get my heart broken. Let me know if you guys have some questions or if you want more details. I have come on this forum for years, mostly when I felt like shit, and it was always negativity. Never any positivity, always just moping and self-pity. I figured I should come on here with some positivity for once and let y'all know the changes I made that I believe have allowed me to make much progress. I'm thinking about expanding this into a more extensive "guide" on how to overcome SPS in order to finally offer some help for the many of us around the world suffering. I mean seriously, my heart goes out to you cuz I know the despair this disorder can cause and feelings of hopelessness. I had to come on here to let y'all know, it's possible to make progress and I wish the best for y'all.

tl; dr: I HAD SEX!

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