Resolute Posted February 18, 2016 Report Share Posted February 18, 2016 Nah the ego thing is every bit as much a part of it, especially for guys teens and twenties. Often times the sex lasted for 2 minutes but they talk about it for the next 20 years.this isn't the same thing. the need to be physically attractive is generally lower in men than women. in some people tho, it's extremely high. unattractive people with a very high need for physical attractiveness will suffer inexplicably. bragging about nailing some chick is a bit different. it's sort of like how people with year round allergies, asthma, sinusitis (of whom i am one, tho the asthma isn't year round) suffer, while others go about their day breathing normally without giving it a second thought. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IrmaJean Posted February 18, 2016 Report Share Posted February 18, 2016 In my opinion a very high percentage of people do not look like Hollywood celebrities. I don't really believe in love at first sight either, though I do think there can be an instant connection between two people that need not be sexual in nature. When it comes down to it, we can only be ourselves so we might as well shine as brightly as we can. My personal feelings anyhow. I know I have many more friends in my life since I started taking more risks and started being openly and freely myself. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Resolute Posted February 18, 2016 Report Share Posted February 18, 2016 In my opinion a very high percentage of people do not look like Hollywood celebrities.i wasn't suggesting that they did. in fact, i was pointing out that even hollywood celebrities can be unattractive.the reason i used celebrities in my example is because everyone's familiar with how they look. real life is the same; there are those who are decidedly attractive, those who are decidedly not, and those who fall somewhere in between. the "eye of the beholder" thing usually only works (to a limited extent) on the last category.I don't really believe in love at first sight either, though I do think there can be an instant connection between two people that need not be sexual in nature.fair enough.When it comes down to it, we can only be ourselves so we might as well shine as brightly as we can. My personal feelings anyhow. I know I have many more friends in my life since I started taking more risks and started being openly and freely myself.the thing is, i don't wanna "just be friends" (with beautiful women that is). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IrmaJean Posted February 18, 2016 Report Share Posted February 18, 2016 (edited) I don't know. A lot of celebrities that are deemed to be physically attractive by many aren't to me and the few that are to me, weren't attractive to me right away. I have to watch them for a while. I still think eye of the beholder does account for a lot of it.I know you want to be more than friends, but maybe friendship can be a place to start? It could blossom into something more. I hope you give yourself the opportunity. Edited February 18, 2016 by IrmaJean fat fingers can't type on a cellphone Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Resolute Posted February 18, 2016 Report Share Posted February 18, 2016 I don't know. A lot of celebrities that are deemed to be physically attractive by many aren't to me and the few that are to me, weren't attractive to me right away. I have to watch them for a while. I still think eye of the beholder does account for a lot of it.there are actually studies/research that tells us the characteristics of an attractive and unattractive face, body, etc., which should apply to the eyes of most beholders.I know you want to be more than friends, but maybe friendship can be a place to start? It could blossom into something more. I hope you give yourself the opportunity.men don't use words like "blossom" lol. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IrmaJean Posted February 19, 2016 Report Share Posted February 19, 2016 I think, for me, familiarity and recognition plays some role. Everyone has their own expressions, gestures, and mannerisms that are unique to them and once I come to recognize these, I find them endearing.There was a study done where a group of strangers met for the first time and later they were asked how attracted each person was to another. One group was instructed to purposely hold extended eye contact with the person sitting across from them and another group was not instructed to do this. The group with extended eye contact showed more attraction to their partners in the experiment than the group without extended eye contact. This suggests that looking longer might play some role too, or at least looking into someone's eyes. I find human behavior interesting, and I think what makes one person attracted to another is likely complex.I hope you give yourself the chance to find what you are seeking, Resolute. Another word for blossom? How about a friendship might develop into something more? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Small Posted February 19, 2016 Report Share Posted February 19, 2016 A wardrobe consultant lol. You have high standards. Victimorthecrime 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Resolute Posted February 19, 2016 Report Share Posted February 19, 2016 A wardrobe consultant lol. You have high standards.you have no idea. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Small Posted February 19, 2016 Report Share Posted February 19, 2016 What else tell me more then? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Resolute Posted February 19, 2016 Report Share Posted February 19, 2016 @beth; unfortunately, a "relationship" isn't gonna make me feel like a man (even a castrated, disfigured dwarf can have a relationship). not to mention it would expose me to even more pain, much more. the only thing that would make me feel like a man is being sexually attractive to most women in the world, and being able to satisfy women sexually in a way that they won't forget. there is of course, no chance in hell of that ever happening. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Resolute Posted February 19, 2016 Report Share Posted February 19, 2016 What else tell me more then?the point is that if i can't have all the ideal physical attributes (namely a proper face and height), i gotta fix or improve whatever physical attributes that i can (reasonably, which means no real surgeries etc.), and i must compensate for the rest with an impressive style that is very rare and very expensive. i would then compliment that with at least one phd, and being fluent in a couple of more languages. otherwise, i stand no chance in becoming what i want to be. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Victimorthecrime Posted February 20, 2016 Author Report Share Posted February 20, 2016 Resolute - I would love to able to turn heads too. Actually I do, just in the wrong direction. But seriously, what percentage of guys on the planet fall into that category? Setting goals or having desires that are unattainable leaves failure and misery as the only possible outcome. For who? For what? Live life as who you are. You're a brilliant guy that has a lot to offer and the world needs that more than another pretty boy. Resolute 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Resolute Posted February 20, 2016 Report Share Posted February 20, 2016 49 minutes ago, VictimofBullyingNo1cared said: Resolute - I would love to able to turn heads too. Actually I do, just in the wrong direction. lol. been there, done that. 49 minutes ago, VictimofBullyingNo1cared said: But seriously, what percentage of guys on the planet fall into that category? Setting goals or having desires that are unattainable leaves failure and misery as the only possible outcome. For who? For what? Live life as who you are. we don't get to choose what we want/like/desire/need/crave/etc.. a cripple whose goal is to not be a cripple, and won't accept anything less, isn't being unreasonable. 49 minutes ago, VictimofBullyingNo1cared said: You're a brilliant guy that has a lot to offer and the world needs that more than another pretty boy. thanks man. reading this actually made me feel slightly good about myself. but realistically, the world doesn't need more brilliant people either. how much worse can the world have been had there not been any brilliant people in it? believe me, not worse at all. probably even better less bad. Victimorthecrime 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Victimorthecrime Posted February 20, 2016 Author Report Share Posted February 20, 2016 Not sure if this will post or not but I found this brief article to be insightful. I think it relates in a broader sense to the topic here http://wakeup-world.com/2014/11/30/worthiness-a-key-to-emotional-healing/ Resolute 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Resolute Posted February 20, 2016 Report Share Posted February 20, 2016 very interesting article, vic. i've bookmarked it just in case i'm ever open to such possibilities. Victimorthecrime 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gone Posted February 20, 2016 Report Share Posted February 20, 2016 On 2/18/2016 at 8:50 AM, IrmaJean said: I don't know. A lot of celebrities that are deemed to be physically attractive by many aren't to me and the few that are to me, weren't attractive to me right away. I have to watch them for a while. I still think eye of the beholder does account for a lot of it. I know you want to be more than friends, but maybe friendship can be a place to start? It could blossom into something more. I hope you give yourself the opportunity. Gotta agree. When I was young Farah Fawcet and Bo Derek were supposed to be two hotties. They were both major turn offs for me. On 2/18/2016 at 2:13 PM, Resolute said: there are actually studies/research that tells us the characteristics of an attractive and unattractive face, body, etc., which should apply to the eyes of most beholders. men don't use words like "blossom" lol. Yeah....or "cuddle" Maybe for blossom you could say progress? Or evolve? Or move forward? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Small Posted February 20, 2016 Report Share Posted February 20, 2016 gone and Victimorthecrime 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gone Posted February 22, 2016 Report Share Posted February 22, 2016 Totally unappreciated Small. I love it! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Victimorthecrime Posted February 23, 2016 Author Report Share Posted February 23, 2016 Found myself an opportunity to practice what I preach regarding 'if you can't change your circumstance, change your mind'. The cable company tells me "just come and get a new box and your troubles will be over" so I did and installed the new one properly but no signal at all is getting through. So I got nothing to watch and it will be several days before the repairman is here. Just dandy. I have got this phone, radio, books and my own company to keep me occupied; telling myself that if I have to have a problem there are worse fates than this. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Victimorthecrime Posted February 23, 2016 Author Report Share Posted February 23, 2016 It is really weird not having cable TV. It should be back on by Saturday. It really does leave space for me to think and gets rid of that angst of channel surfing and finding nothing better to watch than Saved by the Bell. On the other hand there are moments of crushing boredom. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Resolute Posted February 23, 2016 Report Share Posted February 23, 2016 you can watch stuff online man (until cable situation is resolved). and saved by the bell? i prefer the crushing boredom. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Victimorthecrime Posted February 23, 2016 Author Report Share Posted February 23, 2016 Oh believe me I am on line. TV is horrible. There are a handful of programs on CNBC, Bloomberg, & Fox Business that I like but that is about it. Not into sports as much as I used to be and the rest is crime, reality, old TV shows, infomercials, the worst movies ever Hot Tub Time Machine, etc - they can have it. I have half a mind to cancel it and save $80/month. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Resolute Posted February 26, 2016 Report Share Posted February 26, 2016 On Thursday, February 18, 2016 at 10:43 PM, Resolute said: men don't use words like "blossom" lol. On Saturday, February 20, 2016 at 9:12 PM, retr0john said: Yeah....or "cuddle" at the risk of seeming less manly/macho, i gotta admit that i actually do like to cuddle. of course back when i was still an idiot and in some sort of relationship i could rarely just "cuddle". i often had trouble controlling my hands, mouth, and certain other parts. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IrmaJean Posted February 26, 2016 Report Share Posted February 26, 2016 Why would that make you less manly? I think we all need human touch and contact. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Resolute Posted February 26, 2016 Report Share Posted February 26, 2016 i meant the part about enjoying cuddling. it's not exactly something for which men are known. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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