robert Posted April 2, 2016 Report Share Posted April 2, 2016 i'm not going to lie but sometimes i do have my episodes of cursing and blaspheming god. my anger at god has to do with me being denied. it's like no matter what i accomplish in my life i will never feel adequate. even if somehow magically i become a millionaire i will still not be happy. simply for the fact that i have a small penis. it sucks to know that many men do not have to go through life dealing with a small penis. it also sucks that the one life we have on this earth in this universe we have to deal with this problem. living with life with a small penis is so unfulfilling. i know now that heaven and hell are conditions on this earth we go through while we are living not after we die. i wanted a family when i was younger in fact i still do except now i try to act like i don't. on the inside my heart breaks every time i see families and couples with kids those guys are very lucky. i guess it wasn't meant for me to have one. as a toddler and a young boy you never picture your life to be like this. i can't even look a woman in the eye because they remind me of something i will never have. even though i had a shitty childhood at least i thought as an adult it would get better. honestly i can't even remember my penis even growing during my puberty years. it feels like you've been cheated.my relationship with god through my entire life has been a love hate relationship full of confusion. even as a kid i never really believed in god i just did because i was scared of going to hell. there always was and is a voice in the back of my mind telling me "you know there isn't no god why are you lying to yourself" i think i only believe in god out of desperation. to be honest i think i've already stopped believing in him i don't care though. if there is a god i have every right to hate him. so i say FUCK YOU!!!! GOD!!! if you exist. you were never there neither did i ever need you i've always hated my religion anyway i felt shackled and controlled. i had a dream once and i was in the hospital holding a new baby boy in my arms and i was smiling when i woke up i felt sadness. it kind of felt like god was mocking me in my dreams. IDK maybe i want to really believe in god but my anger just won't let me. the angry,hurt,depressed, scared child i was is now a angry,hurt,depressed,scared man. honestly i like coming on this forum to vent because i do feel somewhat better afterwards. maybe one day i can make peace with god/nature/the universe and accept that which i cannot change Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gryphon Posted April 2, 2016 Report Share Posted April 2, 2016 How small are u Robert? I'm small, am married and have 3 kids. Better life with kids. I'm not sure... Lostone56 and robert 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IrmaJean Posted April 2, 2016 Report Share Posted April 2, 2016 Robert, have you thought about journaling or even blogging here on site? I also find that expressing my feelings can release some pain. Wishing you well. robert 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lantrier Posted April 2, 2016 Report Share Posted April 2, 2016 I 'm not really a believer, but I do not think that accusing God for all our problems are going to help. When I look at all my misery , I say to myself that it is not God 's fault, but it's all because of the ego of the human being. If we stop comparing ourselves to others, if we stop being jealous , I think it can improved our lives, but it's easier said than done: I still don't know how to not be jealous. Lostone56 and robert 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
robert Posted April 2, 2016 Author Report Share Posted April 2, 2016 13 hours ago, Gryphon said: How small are u Robert? I'm small, am married and have 3 kids. Better life with kids. I'm not sure... don't know the exact measurements put by the looks of it erect and flaccid picture a 7 maybe 8 year old kid. i would measure but i don't want to get even more depressed than i'm already am Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
robert Posted April 2, 2016 Author Report Share Posted April 2, 2016 6 hours ago, Lantrier said: I 'm not really a believer, but I do not think that accusing God for all our problems are going to help. When I look at all my misery , I say to myself that it is not God 's fault, but it's all because of the ego of the human being. If we stop comparing ourselves to others, if we stop being jealous , I think it can improved our lives, but it's easier said than done: I still don't know how to not be jealous. don't think i can do that bro, i firmly believe that god deserves to be the barer of all my wrath and blasphemy. honestly my ego didn't cause my small penis by some random chance i was born with it.........and it sucks. every human being has a so called "fall guy" to blame all of their problems on and mine happens to be god. whether he's real or not. i just hate him/her so much. since klingsor or klingcorn and others have left maybe it's my time to leave this forum. there is no solution for me. i envy the dead because they are somewhere someplace i want to be. goodbye Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Resolute Posted April 2, 2016 Report Share Posted April 2, 2016 2 hours ago, robert said: since klingsor or klingcorn and others have left maybe it's my time to leave this forum. there is no solution for me. i envy the dead because they are somewhere someplace i want to be. goodbye Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gryphon Posted April 3, 2016 Report Share Posted April 3, 2016 3 hours ago, robert said: don't know the exact measurements put by the looks of it erect and flaccid picture a 7 maybe 8 year old kid. i would measure but i don't want to get even more depressed than i'm already am Just don't give up yet. Recently I've tried using my extender again and taking l-citrulline supplement. Seem to have grown 1 cm in about a month and I'm not those that wear the extender for one whole day. I am only wearing it like 2 to 3 hours a day while lying on bed watch TV. Not sure if the gains will continue or not. I'm still trying. Give this a try before giving up? Please... robert 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Resolute Posted April 3, 2016 Report Share Posted April 3, 2016 @Klingcorn, as you know, i have the same problem; i also can't tolerate being in the presence of attractive people. i usually take my walks late at night, when the streets are almost empty (tho where i live there isn't any scenery to speak of). i know this might not be an option for you since you're a working man, and not a bum like i am. robert 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
robert Posted April 3, 2016 Author Report Share Posted April 3, 2016 1 hour ago, Resolute said: @Klingcorn, as you know, i have the same problem; i also can't tolerate being in the presence of attractive people. i usually take my walks late at night, when the streets are almost empty (tho where i live there isn't any scenery to speak of). i know this might not be an option for you since you're a working man, and not a bum like i am. that sucks bro, don't you call yourself a bum bro! you're just a guy who is on hard times. also i absolutely can't even look at attractive women they make me feel so weak. i used to walk at night too. btw whatever happened to victimofbullying? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
robert Posted April 3, 2016 Author Report Share Posted April 3, 2016 1 hour ago, Klingcorn said: I haven't left completely, robert, I still read this forum. I just don't post anymore because I feel worse when I do, for several reasons. It really pains me to read what you write because I know exactly how you're feeling. I know precisely how this feels, there is nothing you've said that I haven't experienced personally. So you are not alone. I have a real aversion to looking at myself in a mirror, and I also don't like to touch myself. The only time I touch myself is when I pee or masturbate, and even then I just feel revulsion at my own body. The only place I find even a semblance of peace is in my own home, alone. When I am forced to go out for work or even just running errands, my mood becomes so low that I alternate constantly between rage and total depression. I found out from this forum that going out in public is a "trigger". Just today I wanted to go to the park and walk the trails because it was such a pretty day. I wanted sunshine and to see the plants and trees in bloom. I left in a fairly neutral/positive mood; however, when I got to the park and met male joggers on the path or couples walking, my mood started sinking lower and lower until I finally turned around and went back to my dingy room feeling totally frustrated, enraged, and questioning what the FUCK am I doing here? All this in the span of a 45 minute walk and just because I met some young joggers. This is just an example of a single day of my life. It is absolute hell. I am trying to pursue some things privately that I feel are the only options I have left at this point. I am going to PM you later. i know exactly how you feel Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Resolute Posted April 3, 2016 Report Share Posted April 3, 2016 4 minutes ago, robert said: that sucks bro, don't you call yourself a bum bro! you're just a guy who is on hard times. also i absolutely can't even look at attractive women they make me feel so weak. i used to walk at night too. btw whatever happened to victimofbullying? thanks man. and victim is still around. robert 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lantrier Posted April 3, 2016 Report Share Posted April 3, 2016 Me to I realy hate my body and I don't like looking at the mirror. If only I did not had acne, but every week if not everdy day there is a pimple that show up, and I have a lot of scars because of that. During all my life I hated my body, and I don't find myself attractive. I don't see how someone can be attract to me: this look impossible. When I see someone good looking, I always said to myself that this person is lucky. It must be so much easier for them to be social and to be in a relationship. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Resolute Posted April 3, 2016 Report Share Posted April 3, 2016 ya, i had (and still do to a lesser extent) acne problems as well. @robert, if "god" exists, he's a joke at best. robert 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TimmyStan1967 Posted April 3, 2016 Report Share Posted April 3, 2016 I am an atheist in my middle age, but was once mad at the ironic joke God played on me by making me the horniest fucker on planet earth with an erect penis of under 5 inches. I work in health care and one trend that is even more of an ironic joke is the fact that I see so many mentally and physically handicapped men who will never use them with huge cocks. Like the original poster stated my penis didn't grow during puberty like all my friend's cocks did. All that said I am married with two kids and I think the only reason is because I came of age long before penis shaming was in and was never worried about it and have been with my wife since she was a very young. In my middle age I know if my wife ever left me, my days with women would be over. With my cock I would be too embarrassed to pick up a hooker. robert 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
robert Posted April 3, 2016 Author Report Share Posted April 3, 2016 6 hours ago, TimmyStan1967 said: I work in health care and one trend that is even more of an ironic joke is the fact that I see so many mentally and physically handicapped men who will never use them with huge cocks. Now That's Irony. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lostone56 Posted April 5, 2016 Report Share Posted April 5, 2016 On 4/2/2016 at 10:54 PM, robert said: i'm not going to lie but sometimes i do have my episodes of cursing and blaspheming god. my anger at god has to do with me being denied. it's like no matter what i accomplish in my life i will never feel adequate. even if somehow magically i become a millionaire i will still not be happy. simply for the fact that i have a small penis. it sucks to know that many men do not have to go through life dealing with a small penis. it also sucks that the one life we have on this earth in this universe we have to deal with this problem. living with life with a small penis is so unfulfilling. i know now that heaven and hell are conditions on this earth we go through while we are living not after we die. i wanted a family when i was younger in fact i still do except now i try to act like i don't. on the inside my heart breaks every time i see families and couples with kids those guys are very lucky. i guess it wasn't meant for me to have one. as a toddler and a young boy you never picture your life to be like this. i can't even look a woman in the eye because they remind me of something i will never have. even though i had a shitty childhood at least i thought as an adult it would get better. honestly i can't even remember my penis even growing during my puberty years. it feels like you've been cheated.my relationship with god through my entire life has been a love hate relationship full of confusion. even as a kid i never really believed in god i just did because i was scared of going to hell. there always was and is a voice in the back of my mind telling me "you know there isn't no god why are you lying to yourself" i think i only believe in god out of desperation. to be honest i think i've already stopped believing in him i don't care though. if there is a god i have every right to hate him. so i say FUCK YOU!!!! GOD!!! if you exist. you were never there neither did i ever need you i've always hated my religion anyway i felt shackled and controlled. i had a dream once and i was in the hospital holding a new baby boy in my arms and i was smiling when i woke up i felt sadness. it kind of felt like god was mocking me in my dreams. IDK maybe i want to really believe in god but my anger just won't let me. the angry,hurt,depressed, scared child i was is now a angry,hurt,depressed,scared man. honestly i like coming on this forum to vent because i do feel somewhat better afterwards. maybe one day i can make peace with god/nature/the universe and accept that which i cannot change What was the cause of this ? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lostone56 Posted April 5, 2016 Report Share Posted April 5, 2016 On 4/2/2016 at 10:54 PM, robert said: i'm not going to lie but sometimes i do have my episodes of cursing and blaspheming god. my anger at god has to do with me being denied. it's like no matter what i accomplish in my life i will never feel adequate. even if somehow magically i become a millionaire i will still not be happy. simply for the fact that i have a small penis. it sucks to know that many men do not have to go through life dealing with a small penis. it also sucks that the one life we have on this earth in this universe we have to deal with this problem. living with life with a small penis is so unfulfilling. i know now that heaven and hell are conditions on this earth we go through while we are living not after we die. i wanted a family when i was younger in fact i still do except now i try to act like i don't. on the inside my heart breaks every time i see families and couples with kids those guys are very lucky. i guess it wasn't meant for me to have one. as a toddler and a young boy you never picture your life to be like this. i can't even look a woman in the eye because they remind me of something i will never have. even though i had a shitty childhood at least i thought as an adult it would get better. honestly i can't even remember my penis even growing during my puberty years. it feels like you've been cheated.my relationship with god through my entire life has been a love hate relationship full of confusion. even as a kid i never really believed in god i just did because i was scared of going to hell. there always was and is a voice in the back of my mind telling me "you know there isn't no god why are you lying to yourself" i think i only believe in god out of desperation. to be honest i think i've already stopped believing in him i don't care though. if there is a god i have every right to hate him. so i say FUCK YOU!!!! GOD!!! if you exist. you were never there neither did i ever need you i've always hated my religion anyway i felt shackled and controlled. i had a dream once and i was in the hospital holding a new baby boy in my arms and i was smiling when i woke up i felt sadness. it kind of felt like god was mocking me in my dreams. IDK maybe i want to really believe in god but my anger just won't let me. the angry,hurt,depressed, scared child i was is now a angry,hurt,depressed,scared man. honestly i like coming on this forum to vent because i do feel somewhat better afterwards. maybe one day i can make peace with god/nature/the universe and accept that which i cannot change If you backtrack your pass what was it that you did wrong that caused this ? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
robert Posted April 6, 2016 Author Report Share Posted April 6, 2016 On 4/5/2016 at 10:26 PM, Lostone56 said: If you backtrack your pass what was it that you did wrong that caused this ? being porn with a small penis caused it. also porn had a lot to do with it too. i've been addicted to porn and masturbation since i was 13 or maybe 14 pretty much when i hit puberty as i got older it got worse i've seen a lot of sick porn although no pedophilia or beastiality because it literally sickens me to even think about it. pretty much lesbian,straight and gay even though i'm ashamed to admit it....... i'm not gay though i was just curious it's not gay if you kind of got turned on by it....is it? smh!!! it's even worse because my parents were too busy to teach me about sex so i learned about sex from pornography and it corrupted my little adolescent mind. now i'm a 27yr old man who is a virgin has social anxiety and terrified of talking to women i even hate when they look at me needless to say all of this has made me recluse. i'm going to end up just like my dad angry,hateful and alone living by myself. he used to beat my mom a lot and many times threatened to kill her and us if she ever left him. she divorced him in 1992 and he has been alone since. my older brother got the physical abuse me and my other brother got the verbal abuse. i remember one time i accidentally pooped my pants and he humiliated me in front of friends and family, he was always short tempered. i accepted as a teenager that me and my dad would never have a real father son relationship or get along. if he died it will be sad but i don't think i would even cry. it's even worse because i'm named after him. last year i pushed him and he fell down he was having one of his anger episodes. when he left after i pushed him i cried because i felt so guilty. even though he may have hurt me when i was a child i don't want to become like him. i dont really keep in contact with my other siblings because they have families now and are busy. after all what has happened i don't hate my dad. he likes to call me a "sissy" smh!!! he thinks i'm gay because i have no girlfriend Lostone56 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lostone56 Posted April 6, 2016 Report Share Posted April 6, 2016 I admit that being inside a girl is v#$%& is amazing . Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lostone56 Posted April 6, 2016 Report Share Posted April 6, 2016 We all start off with a small penis . having patience and staying away from masturbation is the key to make it through the development stage something I didn't know back then :'( Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ShameOnThem Posted April 7, 2016 Report Share Posted April 7, 2016 I'm so sorry to hear this, Robert. You get to decide the kind of person you're going to be. If he get's physical with you, it's within your right to defend yourself, and it doesn't make you like him at all. It sounds like you've got a really sound head on your shoulders, despite all that you have had to endure, and I think if you resolve to be a person you can be proud of, you'll have no problem achieving this. Having a small penis may preclude us from promising porn careers, or lives as promiscuous playboys, but it does not preclude us having happy, fulfilling relationships with women. You are not your dad, you can choose to be better than him, to yourself and to the people you care about. You're in charge of your own decisions, only you can let other people influence them. robert 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Resolute Posted April 7, 2016 Report Share Posted April 7, 2016 9 hours ago, ShameOnThem said: I'm so sorry to hear this, Robert. You get to decide the kind of person you're going to be. If he get's physical with you, it's within your right to defend yourself, and it doesn't make you like him at all. It sounds like you've got a really sound head on your shoulders, despite all that you have had to endure, and I think if you resolve to be a person you can be proud of, you'll have no problem achieving this. Having a small penis may preclude us from promising porn careers, or lives as promiscuous playboys, but it does not preclude us having happy, fulfilling relationships with women. You are not your dad, you can choose to be better than him, to yourself and to the people you care about. You're in charge of your own decisions, only you can let other people influence them. that's right, robert. you're in charge of your destiny and what kind of life you want. your health, your looks, the size of your penis, your upbringing, your genes, your environment and circumstances all have absolutely no say in what you do or what/who you become. robert 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
51 Years of Misery Posted April 8, 2016 Report Share Posted April 8, 2016 Damn Right we should be angry at Him, absolutely furious, enraged, incandescent, fuming, boiling, seething, incensed, irate, frenzied, in a frenzy, raving mad, ranting, raving, wrathful, outraged, apoplectic!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! God is obviously a complete cnut! a bastard, a torturer, a sadist! We should kill Him! robert 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
robert Posted April 8, 2016 Author Report Share Posted April 8, 2016 22 hours ago, Resolute said: that's right, robert. you're in charge of your destiny and what kind of life you want. your health, your looks, the size of your penis, your upbringing, your genes, your environment and circumstances all have absolutely no say in what you do or what/who you become. Are you being sarcastic? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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