should i/we be angry at god?

[Resolute]

3 minutes ago, robert said:

Are you being sarcastic?

hell ya.

[robert]

5 hours ago, 51 Years of Misery said:

Damn Right we should be angry at Him, absolutely furious, enraged, incandescent, fuming, boiling, seething, incensed, irate, frenzied, in a frenzy, raving mad, ranting, raving, wrathful, outraged, apoplectic!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! God is obviously a complete cnut! a bastard, a torturer, a sadist! We should kill Him!

Even though part of me wants to really believe there is a god up there and all of the suffering and dissappoint guys on this forum have gone through is not in vain.  I  have to agree with what you said god has never helped me or anyone else. I remember when I used to pray, I stopped because it was useless. If there is a god he has let me down too many times to deserve my praise. If he is real he definitely thinks it's entertaining and hilarious to watch people suffer. Also religious people no matter what religion are the biggest hypocrites I hate god and their BS religion too

[robert]

18 minutes ago, Resolute said:

hell ya.

Lol!!! 

[ShameOnThem]

On second thought, robert, Resolute is right, just abandon all hope, buy a cemetery plot and patiently wait. Positivity and sincerity are for the birds. 

[Resolute]

hope is one thing, but fantasy is another.

[ShameOnThem]

On 4/7/2016 at 2:32 PM, ShameOnThem said:

...I think if you resolve to be a person you can be proud of, you'll have no problem achieving this. Having a small penis may preclude us from promising porn careers, or lives as promiscuous playboys, but it does not preclude us having happy, fulfilling relationships with women. You are not your dad, you can choose to be better than him, to yourself and to the people you care about. You're in charge of your own decisions, only you can let other people influence them.

In what world is this fantastical? Just because you don't want to be happy doesn't mean you should try to make others see only darkness.

[Resolute]

On Thursday, April 07, 2016 at 10:02 PM, ShameOnThem said:

I'm so sorry to hear this, Robert. You get to decide the kind of person you're going to be. If he get's physical with you, it's within your right to defend yourself, and it doesn't make you like him at all. It sounds like you've got a really sound head on your shoulders, despite all that you have had to endure, and I think if you resolve to be a person you can be proud of, you'll have no problem achieving this. Having a small penis may preclude us from promising porn careers, or lives as promiscuous playboys, but it does not preclude us having happy, fulfilling relationships with women. You are not your dad, you can choose to be better than him, to yourself and to the people you care about. You're in charge of your own decisions, only you can let other people influence them.

 

1 hour ago, ShameOnThem said:

In what world is this fantastical?

in this world. let's examine some of those wild claims, shall we?:

"despite all that you have had to endure, and I think if you resolve to be a person you can be proud of, you'll have no problem achieving this." how did you come to this ridiculous conclusion? the fact is, if he didn't have a problem achieving this (being a person he can be proud of), he would've already done it. him not achieving this, clearly means he has a problem achieving this.

"Having a small penis may preclude us from promising porn careers, or lives as promiscuous playboys, but it does not preclude us having happy, fulfilling relationships with women." another ludicrous statement;

1. most straight women want a penis that is functional and adequate in size.

2. they also want other things that robert (and many of us) lacks.

3. many guys don't want so called happy fulfilling relationships with women. they want a lot of casual sex, which as you admitted, might not be possible for many guys.

"You are not your dad, you can choose to be better than him, to yourself and to the people you care about. You're in charge of your own decisions, only you can let other people influence them." yet another absurd statement. nature and nurture determine what kinds of people we become. and it's very common for people to repeat their parents' behavior even when they vow to be nothing like them. this doesn't mean that all people will behave like their parents, but their behavior, whatever it might be, is already programmed and predetermined by genetics and circumstances. we're in charge of squat. you can't change your psychological makeup any more than you can change your race/color.

now do you see why it's fantasy? you're welcome.

[Resolute]

this is another stupid remark:

1 hour ago, ShameOnThem said:

Just because you don't want to be happy....

who the hell doesn't wanna be happy? for some of us, it's just not in the cards.

[IrmaJean]

We have many members in our community and each person has their own voice and thoughts to offer.

I think it's possible to present and express different thoughts and opinions without one needing to diminish the other. If we offer thoughts respectfully, they can stand on their own. It's then up to members reading to take from the discussion what works best for them as individuals.

My thoughts.

[Resolute]

12 minutes ago, RogerJolly said:

I would say this has a lot to do with age, Resolute. It is generally much truer for younger guys - especially those under 30.

(And it is much less true for over-40s, in my humble opinion.)

do you think that unmet needs simply go away after a certain age?

[IrmaJean]

I don't think so myself, but I do think what is important to us and what holds meaning can change. Our needs may change too, I think, as a reflection of this.

[Resolute]

1 minute ago, RogerJolly said:

I think the needs often change, Resolute.

When a person is 18 or 19 he might want to play the field and have lots of sex with different girls. By the time that same person is 35 plus, he might be ready to settle down with just one woman.

(But one is, in any case, generalising - there are some younger guys who are ready to commit to a serious relationship as well.)

please don't make it sound like the ones who don't want a serious "relationship" are shallow and immature and the ones who do are somehow deep and mature. believe me, you don't want me making the opposite point very convincingly.

[Resolute]

58 minutes ago, IrmaJean said:

I don't think so myself, but I do think what is important to us and what holds meaning can change. Our needs may change too, I think, as a reflection of this.

it may change for some. and for others it doesn't. and even for those whom it changes, all those previously-denied needs will undoubtedly take a massive toll. add this to all the current needs that are being denied, and future needs that will never be met, and you get a tiny glimpse of what we're trying to say.

Edited April 13, 2016 by Resolute

[Resolute]

1 minute ago, RogerJolly said:

C'mon Resolute, you can't put words in my mouth! I didn't use the words "shallow", "deep" or "immature".

roger, please. there was a clear implication that the natural order of things is to want to be in a serious "relationship", at least after a certain age.

 

1 minute ago, RogerJolly said:

(BTW I don't see "shallow" as being synonymous with "mature" - IMO one can be entirely mature and yet still very shallow, for example.)

i don't think they're synonymous either. but your post seemed to imply that at least one of these two traits is true for anyone who doesn't wish to be in a committed "relationship".

[Resolute]

14 minutes ago, RogerJolly said:

Sure, I think most guys over 35 want a committed relationship and family - that's the world I see around me.

I don't think I was making a value judgement.

be honest, do you or don't you consider guys who want "committed relationships" to be more mature?

[Resolute]

5 minutes ago, RogerJolly said:

I can only answer that, if we are clear about the definition. Merriam Webster's basic definition of "mature" is:

1.) Having or showing the mental and emotional qualities of an adult

2.) Having a fully grown or developed body : grown to size

3.) Having reached a final or desired state

I would say guys who want committed relationships are (at least arguably) "mature" according to the third sense here. However I would not say they are (of necessity) "mature" according to the first and second sense.

ok, i disagree with that too. i submit that many guys who want committed relationships because they "have reached a final or desired state" will be singing a different tune once they've experienced "committed relationships" first hand, for a while. as for the ones who are happy with it, i'd say that most of them are delusional saps.

[tcnewexp]

Interesting discussion Roger and Resolute. While this is speaking in general terms, I believe what "most" people want and desire is constantly changing and evolving. Basically, most of us are never content. Especially when someone gets what they have been desiring.  I agree that most guys eventually want a committed relationship and all the "benefits" that comes along with that. If they get that and have had it for a while, in many cases their desires change. Or maybe the desires don't change, but the priorities of what they desire most changes.  While they may still enjoy and to some extent desire the companionship, comfort, and commitment that hopefully comes with the relationship, they may start desiring others things more such as their independence and the passion and excitement that only comes from a new relationship. So they pursue these more powerful desires and end up cheating.  When the committed relationship is over, the priorities often shift again and they desire to return to the committed relationship. 

I think it's the same for most people with all their desires. They can either never get enough, or when they reach the pinnacle, their priorities shift and focus on completely different desires.  

[Resolute]

44 minutes ago, tcnewexp said:

Interesting discussion Roger and Resolute. While this is speaking in general terms, I believe what "most" people want and desire is constantly changing and evolving. Basically, most of us are never content. Especially when someone gets what they have been desiring.  I agree that most guys eventually want a committed relationship and all the "benefits" that comes along with that. If they get that and have had it for a while, in many cases their desires change. Or maybe the desires don't change, but the priorities of what they desire most changes.  While they may still enjoy and to some extent desire the companionship, comfort, and commitment that hopefully comes with the relationship, they may start desiring others things more such as their independence and the passion and excitement that only comes from a new relationship. So they pursue these more powerful desires and end up cheating.  When the committed relationship is over, the priorities often shift again and they desire to return to the committed relationship. 

I think it's the same for most people with all their desires. They can either never get enough, or when they reach the pinnacle, their priorities shift and focus on completely different desires.  

this is mostly true only for people who don't know themselves and what they want. those who know themselves well enough should be pretty consistent.

[tcnewexp]

8 minutes ago, Resolute said:

this is mostly true only for people who don't know themselves and what they want. those who know themselves well enough should be pretty consistent.

I can somewhat agree with this. I just think people are constantly changing and evolving, so with that, what they want changes as well.  I agree that those who know themselves well, will be more consistent than those who are lost.

[IrmaJean]

5 hours ago, Resolute said:

ok, i disagree with that too. i submit that many guys who want committed relationships because they "have reached a final or desired state" will be singing a different tune once they've experienced "committed relationships" first hand, for a while. as for the ones who are happy with it, i'd say that most of them are delusional saps.

Is there anything from your past , Resolute, that might bring up strong emotions for you around committed relationships? Or something else you feel angry about? Feel free to ignore if that's too personal. Possibly it doesn't fit at all either..

 

 

[Resolute]

13 hours ago, IrmaJean said:

Is there anything from your past , Resolute, that might bring up strong emotions for you around committed relationships? Or something else you feel angry about? Feel free to ignore if that's too personal. Possibly it doesn't fit at all either..

unfortunately, yes, i've had a couple of really bad experiences with so called relationships. however, it should be evident by now that i'm not one to draw conclusions from a few personal experiences, specially if they don't correspond to the rest of the world. if people really looked around themselves (and at all the statistics) and critically thought about all the events, they'd see how meaningless so called serious relationships are. and even tho they might serve a small purpose to some people, their overall downsides (i'd rather not elaborate at this time) greatly outweigh any benefits they may offer.

i must mention, tho, that this doesn't necessarily apply to women. or at least it applies to a much lesser extent. women are biologically programmed to be with one man (with as many desirable traits as possible), whereas men are biologically programmed to seek as many female partners (with as many desirable traits as possible) as possible. dedication is a feminine trait, and highly unmasculine. cheating isn't manly either if one had pledged his fidelity. pledging fidelity, however, is unmanly.

i'm truly sorry if this offends or upsets anyone, but it's just how i see it.

[tcnewexp]

Resolute, as someone who is in a relationship, I could be offended or upset by your thoughts, but I am not.  I will just say, I don't believe relationships are meaningless or serve a small purpose. I think the purpose and how meaningful they are will change from person to person and what the relationship is like. 

I'm not sure if I fully buy into the biological programming theory.  Either way, I tend to think men and woman have more similarities when it comes to "partners" than differences. Many people are just influenced by what is socially acceptable. I could also bring religions impact, but will refrain. I believe there is biological programming, I just think it is less of a factor. I don't believe that woman are biologically programmed to be with one man. I believe the dependency and need to feel secure (magnified with child birth) the the primary driver for a woman seeking just one man with the most desirable traits.  

[Resolute]

38 minutes ago, RogerJolly said:

It's understandable if this has shaped and coloured your views. But wouldn't you also say that someone with these really bad past experiences needs to be specially careful to guard against bitterness and cynicism?

i don't know what you mean.

 

38 minutes ago, RogerJolly said:

After all, there are plenty of people out there (possibly the majority of people?) who do live happily in settled relationships.

what planet do you live on, man?

[Resolute]

i'm afraid i'm from our very own shitty earth.

[Resolute]

11 minutes ago, RogerJolly said:

Maybe it was a bad joke - I didn't mean to make light of things.

Resolute, can we agree about something today? Can we at least agree that there is nothing very much better than a 19 year-old female with dark blonde hair, blue eyes, medium sized breasts, and a damned perfect ass...?

Can we agree about that?

(Yeah, she's real, and it drives me crazy every time I see her. I hate being old.)

ah, your neighbor's daughter again. and no we can't agree lol. i'm not sure that blonde is necessarily the best hair color, and i might prefer somewhat larger breasts lol. also, i prefer women between 25 and 45. we can agree on the "damned perfect ass" tho . but i'm not sure that we'd agree what exactly that would be (i'm guessing i'd prefer something a bit larger than what you would, if our tits to asses preference ratios are proportionate).