robert Posted May 18, 2016 Report Share Posted May 18, 2016 The Anger,Hurt,Jealousy,Envy,Shame,Guilt,Feeling Undesired Seem To Consume My Mind Constantly. The Many Times I Sit Back And Day Dream And Think About My Life I Realize That These Feelings While Forever Thrive Within My Mind. the anger i have will eventually consume me, i'm a man that is broken beyond repair. i don't know how much longer i will be on this forum because honestly i just can't do it anymore. i never thought my life would get to this point of me literally wanting to die. i've been through hardships before, but at least i had religion to lean on. i'm really at the end of my rope and i dont know what to do or say anymore. what's the use of living anymore? you know your life is worthless when the only reason you get out of bed in the morning is because you have to use the restroom. i just can't take it anymore i never asked to be born in fact i wish i wasn't. the pain and disappointment i feel really torments my soul, i just don't give a f*ck anymore. i don't know if i will be back on this forum, it's useless for me to post on here anymore because i've lost all hope. if god is real i'd really like to gut him like a f*cking fish and stab him in his esophagus repeatedly. jesus can kiss my f*cking ass too i hate him the most i'm glad they crucified his stupid p*ssy a** if i had the chance i would too. no one could imagine the hurt that i feel inside........i just don't know what to do anymore. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Resolute Posted May 18, 2016 Report Share Posted May 18, 2016 robert, Obsolete and Gryphon 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Obsolete Posted May 18, 2016 Report Share Posted May 18, 2016 (edited) . Edited May 18, 2016 by TinyBlackDick Talking about myself. Not really helpful. robert 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IrmaJean Posted May 18, 2016 Report Share Posted May 18, 2016 I'm sorry you feel so down and depressed, Robert. Does journaling, expressing your feelings, or sharing with others offer you any moments of relief? Is there one step you can take today to help yourself? Do you have someone there with you or someone you can confide in? Maybe praying could help you to reconnect with your faith? Care---->>> you robert 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gryphon Posted May 18, 2016 Report Share Posted May 18, 2016 Robert, is it just penis size that is bothering you? If I remember correctly, my wife has actually never complained bout my size. In fact now I have a different set of issues as she is entering menopause, she complains that it's painful to have sex. Btw, do you serve in church? Maybe that could be a way to connect with God? robert 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Resolute Posted May 18, 2016 Report Share Posted May 18, 2016 30 minutes ago, RogerJay said: I can relate to the quoted parts here exactly - especially the bits I highlighted. You know something, Robert? Just this very weekend I was gripped by this conviction, this feeling that I was broken beyond repair - just that sentiment had a complete hold of my mind. Then on Monday I woke up and it was as if a switch had been thrown in my head. My old self was back - even though nothing in my circumstances has changed. All the horrible problems and crushing responsibilities that I have are still there. This is the nature of depression. It's like an invisible cloud inside your brain - whether it's due to some chemical imbalance, or whether it's the influence of a fallen angel, or whether it's both of those things...who knows!? Either way it can depart just as quickly and suddenly as it comes, I find. this is the nature of your depression. some people's depression is like this, but not all. it's sort of like bipolar. some people, however, have more uniform forms of depression, and may constantly and consistently be in despair. i'm not saying that robert necessarily falls under this category, but judging from his posts, he does seem to fit the profile. robert 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Resolute Posted May 18, 2016 Report Share Posted May 18, 2016 @TinyBlackDick, i read your post before you deleted it, and i don't think you should've deleted it. who knows, maybe it is helpful to someone. robert 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shrimp Fried Life Posted May 18, 2016 Report Share Posted May 18, 2016 What is it that you want? what it is about your life you want to change or want to happen? robert 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Resolute Posted May 18, 2016 Report Share Posted May 18, 2016 5 hours ago, RogerJay said: I don't think I'm bipolar. I don't have 'highs' and 'lows' - I have 'lows' and 'normals'. The whole thing doesn't feel in any way cyclical. It's very unpredictable. I might be depressed for 4 or 5 weeks the suddenly okay for 3-5 days (or vice versa.) I might be down and then normal (or vice versa) within the space of a day or even an hour. can't it just be bipolar, but without mania? 5 hours ago, RogerJay said: Yeah. But still they may one day suddenly recover. There is hope they may, IMHO. this would depend on countless factors. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
robert Posted May 19, 2016 Author Report Share Posted May 19, 2016 12 hours ago, lifelongvirgin said: What is it that you want? what it is about your life you want to change or want to happen? to die. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
robert Posted May 19, 2016 Author Report Share Posted May 19, 2016 13 hours ago, Gryphon said: Robert, is it just penis size that is bothering you? If I remember correctly, my wife has actually never complained bout my size. In fact now I have a different set of issues as she is entering menopause, she complains that it's painful to have sex. Btw, do you serve in church? Maybe that could be a way to connect with God? having a small penis is not my only problem, and no, i do not serve in church. i've just dropped religion,god and church all together. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
robert Posted May 19, 2016 Author Report Share Posted May 19, 2016 16 hours ago, IrmaJean said: I'm sorry you feel so down and depressed, Robert. Does journaling, expressing your feelings, or sharing with others offer you any moments of relief? Is there one step you can take today to help yourself? Do you have someone there with you or someone you can confide in? Maybe praying could help you to reconnect with your faith? Care---->>> you idk irmajean i'm just very frustrated i haven't prayed in a while and i don't think i could if i tried. when i used to pray it seemed like no one was listening. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
robert Posted May 19, 2016 Author Report Share Posted May 19, 2016 17 hours ago, RogerJay said: I can relate to the quoted parts here exactly - especially the bits I highlighted. You know something, Robert? Just this very weekend I was gripped by this conviction, this feeling that I was broken beyond repair - just that sentiment had a complete hold of my mind. Then on Monday I woke up and it was as if a switch had been thrown in my head. My old self was back - even though nothing in my circumstances has changed. All the horrible problems and crushing responsibilities that I have are still there. This is the nature of depression. It's like an invisible cloud inside your brain - whether it's due to some chemical imbalance, or whether it's the influence of a fallen angel, or whether it's both of those things...who knows!? Either way it can depart just as quickly and suddenly as it comes, I find. (Well, if it is Satan and his angels that are attacking you - I guess that's pretty much the kind of thought they would want you to have, right...!?) maybe so i've been dealing with depression for a long time. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gryphon Posted May 19, 2016 Report Share Posted May 19, 2016 2 hours ago, robert said: having a small penis is not my only problem, and no, i do not serve in church. i've just dropped religion,god and church all together. Have the church failed you? God works through people most of the time. Is there anyone extending themselves to you? If you are in sg. I would probably have invited you to my church. Be a listening ear or even work out some of the issues you face in life. At least be you friend. That is how the christian community should be. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Obsolete Posted May 19, 2016 Report Share Posted May 19, 2016 16 hours ago, Resolute said: @TinyBlackDick, i read your post before you deleted it, and i don't think you should've deleted it. who knows, maybe it is helpful to someone. Thanks Res. I just felt if I want to talk about myself so much then I should start my own topic/thread. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IrmaJean Posted May 19, 2016 Report Share Posted May 19, 2016 Regarding depression: As I have understood it, bipolar is the same as manic depressive, so I think that mania would be a necessary component of bipolar disorder. I'm not an expert by any means, though. I often use my own experiences as an example when posting. It helps me relate to a difficulty someone else is having and hopefully also offers those who are reading something different to reflect on within their own situation. So I do think it can help create better understanding and hopefully something to learn from. Robert, do you have any pets? They can be wonderful company and also help give us the motivation to keep moving. Wishing you peace. robert and Victimorthecrime 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Victimorthecrime Posted May 19, 2016 Report Share Posted May 19, 2016 Robert I encourage you to find happiness in your own way, whatever works for you. For me it involved changing my thinking, especially letting go of things I cannot change for example past regrets. Sometimes depression is linked to an underlying health condition like high blood sugar or thyroid problems so get checked out. IrmaJean and mts 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
robert Posted May 19, 2016 Author Report Share Posted May 19, 2016 9 hours ago, IrmaJean said: Regarding depression: As I have understood it, bipolar is the same as manic depressive, so I think that mania would be a necessary component of bipolar disorder. I'm not an expert by any means, though. I often use my own experiences as an example when posting. It helps me relate to a difficulty someone else is having and hopefully also offers those who are reading something different to reflect on within their own situation. So I do think it can help create better understanding and hopefully something to learn from. Robert, do you have any pets? They can be wonderful company and also help give us the motivation to keep moving. Wishing you peace. lol i've always have had bad luck with pets. every dog i've ever had since i was a kid has always ran away. i do have 2 turtles, simply because my little nephew was neglecting them, and i didn't want them to die, so i took them in. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Resolute Posted May 19, 2016 Report Share Posted May 19, 2016 maybe you could get two more turtles and teach them to be ninja turtles. Obsolete 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
robert Posted May 20, 2016 Author Report Share Posted May 20, 2016 6 hours ago, Resolute said: maybe you could get two more turtles and teach them to be ninja turtles. Lol maybe. Not really a turtle person though,they're not very interesting. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shrimp Fried Life Posted May 20, 2016 Report Share Posted May 20, 2016 I think most of us can relate to how robert feels to some degree. I don't remember how old robert is I think he's pretty young compared to myself (57). I've been dealing with this stuff a long time. It seems there not a whole lot to be done about it though. Therapy may or may not be helpful. It comes down to being able to change the way you think and changing your feelings by changing your thought patterns. Cognitive Behavior Therapy. I'm going to be seeing a psychologist soon to see if this even works. Like I said I've been having these bad thoughts for so long that I really can't see me being able to change them to a large degree but I'm willing to give it a try. The trouble is even if I am able to change the way I think I still have to live in a world where a large portion of the female gender see a small penis as nothing more than a joke or a way to get revenge any perceived injustice. Obsolete and robert 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shrimp Fried Life Posted May 20, 2016 Report Share Posted May 20, 2016 On 5/20/2016 at 9:08 AM, lifelongvirgin said: . Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Obsolete Posted May 20, 2016 Report Share Posted May 20, 2016 9 hours ago, robert said: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Obsolete Posted May 20, 2016 Report Share Posted May 20, 2016 9 hours ago, robert said: Lol maybe. Not really a turtle person though,they're not very interesting. Perhaps make silly youtube vids of them doing silly things..? robert 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Obsolete Posted May 20, 2016 Report Share Posted May 20, 2016 @lifelongvirgin I hope therapy works out for you man. Victimorthecrime 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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