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I'm hoping to make some connections on here, I haven't had alot success on forums in the past and find it a little impersonal but I really need some support.  I have depression and PTSD.  Because of my past and some recent events I'm in alot of despair and hopelessness and so far the mental health system hasn't been to helpful which is a understatement.  Anyway I hope to find some people I can relate with. 

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I have alot shame about who I am as a person because of bullying, rejection, and just dealing with insensitive jerks in general most of my life.  In so many ways it completely destroyed me.  I have gone to mental health services but it just wasn't too helpful, in some ways it made it worse.  I'm still seeing a therapist once a week but at this point I'm pretty detached about the whole thing.  Maybe it's my personality or because of what I've been through in my life but I feel the current mental health system violates alot of my personal values.

These are some of the things that really bother me about it.

  • stigmatizing clients as “disordered”, leading to social distancing
  • leading clinicians to view clients as “diseased” and “disordered,” which shuts down avenues for acceptance, hope, and empathy
  • driving clients away from seeking treatment due to this stigma
  • focusing on red herring biomedical causes of emotional distress and not addressing the real cause of suffering, such as environmental trauma, parental neglect, unhealthy relationships, or lack of self-acceptance.

I don't mean to offend anyone that finds therapy helpful but for me it feels like it's increasing my feelings of shame and in some ways therapy in of itself can feel like bullying.  For anyone who is interested you can read more about my story here.

I think I should just become my own therapist which is kind of what I'm doing now, that's also why I'm trying different forums to hopefully find others who've been in similar circumstances.

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Hey Scott I have been posting here for years about the damage childhood bullying did to my psyche and about how it is all but  impossible to move forward in life when you hate yourself.  

The things that have helped me some: acceptance, consciously changing my thinking, taking action where feasible.  That's just me, not preaching.  I encourage everyone to look inside themselves for answers.  

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