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So I'm going thru the diagnosis process to determine if I suffer from ASPD. I'm pretty sure I do suffer from it. I recently got asked to leave the house by my fiancée until I find coping mechanisms, ways to better myself. does anyone have any recommendations / help i can start with? I'm willing to do anything I can to make myself a better person. this whole situation has left me very depressed and I have had some suicidal thoughts because I don't know where to start and I desperately want to make myself better

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Welcome to our community, Gnome. I'm sorry that you're feeling down and depressed. I hope that, no matter what your diagnosis might be, you can be accepting of yourself. All of us have struggles, I think...we're all human and imperfect. 

Do you have a supportive family or friends, aside from your fiancé? Would your fiancé possibly consider going to couples' therapy with you? Maybe that could be helpful to both of you.

I'm not sure what issues you might be struggling with, so I don't have specific thoughts about what might be helpful, but I would recommend listening to your needs and practicing healthy self-care and compassion for yourself, if you can. 

Take gentle care, Gnome.

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My friends try understand the best they can. they don't seem to have troubles like I do so they only can do so much. my parents don't really recognize mental illness as being a thing.

My fiancé and I have tried a little therapy. But she is so worn out and kind of tired of me that I don't know if it is doing any good.

Thank you for taking time to provide some input. I do appreciate it

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Hello, Gnome, welcome!

I suppose you've already searched for some treatment options online, like, for instance, mentioned in these articles:




I would also recommend "to educate yourself about people and social interactions". By reading, ... and... well, I have to admit I've been, for several months already, a big fan and proponent of "The school of life" (as you may notice in the Recommended section of this forum ;) ) , so I'm very much inclined to recommend you watching as much of the YouTube videos on their channel as you can. (They also publish books and sell other stuff, but as the videos are free, I mention them as the first / main option - you may then decide if you also want something more, something not for free.)


Perhaps this also can be interesting for you: it's about a man who's got "a brain of a psychopath", but thanks to his family and environment, he didn't become "a bad person". I know it's not about ASPD and I know it's not "responding" to your questions, but I still think it might be good for you to know about such cases - about the intricate possibilities of human brain and of environmental influences. It might increase your hope for big changes in your life.


BTW; I think although your girlfriend has made this decision which might seem unlucky for you, you're still quite lucky, in a sense, because she's shown she cares for you! She could just dump you, never wanting to see you again, but she wants you to get better, to get help, to become a person living a better life - for hers as well as yours sake! 

Good luck!


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The fact that you care about your relationship and hope for things to improve says a lot, I think. Possibly your fiancé needs some space right now and this offers you a space to focus fully on your mental health and well being. 

When you say you don't respond as expected to situations and events, how do you mean this? Share only if you feel comfortable doing so.

Take care of yourself , Gnome.

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Also thank you Lala and Irma. I've done some research but that is a further set of resources that I didn't previously have. I always like having more information. while I know you're probably correct about her reasoning for what she did, initially it didn't make it easier on me. but maybe she is more intuitive on what needs to happen for me to fix myself. it's definitely proving to be difficult for me and I really can't express how thankful I am to everyone who is taking time out of their day for me.

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You're welcome!! :)

BTW... the way how you write doesn't make an impression of somebody with ASPD, to me at least. For instance:

2 hours ago, Gnome said:

I really can't express how thankful I am to everyone who is taking time out of their day for me.

But well; what can I know... (?)

Good luck, take care and keep posting when you feel like sharing or asking something!

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