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At the end of the line now.


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I'm going to cut straight to the chase here, a couple months back I met the girl of my dreams. She was and still is EVERYTHING I EVER wanted in another person.

Today she told me she couldn't be in a relationship with me due to the fact that she hasn't gotten over her ex whom was the true love of her life.


She made my life better. She made it good. I was fucking happy. I could actually wake up every single morning with a smile and look forward to seeing her and even look forward to doing what I was going to each and every damn day. I could breathe again after my ex took her own life. I sound like a fucking idiot but its true I was happy for the first time in years. I didn't want to take my own life because she made my life feel worth it again.


Now its over. She has good reasons and I do not blame her for ending what we had and I never will. I cant replace him, and I never will. I cant replace anyone. I cant be the love of someones life. I'm not meant to be. Call me a whiny faggot all you want, I need someone to love me. I cant handle the thought of being alone. I'm one of those people, I need a relationship I need someone to send me texts early in the morning saying good morning and all that bullshit. I need someone that cares enough about me to want to be with me. I barely have any friends, I'm dissociated from my family all I have is myself and my own thoughts and all they want is to kill me. I've said it on here before and I will say it again. I despise myself, I cant bring anything but misery and sadness into anyones lives and its always been that way.


I cant do this again. I've actually reached the end of the line. I need to seek help, I need to find someone to lean on. I just need ONE person that can tell me its going to be okay. I dont care if its a lie anymore, I dont care if they're only saying it to try and calm me down I just want to feel alive again. Theres been two people that dimmed the urge to end it all, my ex who took her own life because she couldnt handle the pressure and now this girl. She wants to be friends, saying she NEEDS me in her life that I'm the light at the end of her tunnel THEN WHY THE FUCK WOULD YOU DO THIS TO ME?! She fucking knows I'm a wreck, she's a wreck herself! I FUCKING LOVE HER BUT ONCE AGAIN I CANT KEEP ANYTHING I LOVE


I'm sorry to whomever reads this I'm whining about something that doesnt concern you and its probably cringy as fuck to read through. I dont want to live anymore. I'm back to what I was like when my previous ex took her own life. I want to follow her. Atleast then I wouldn't be alone.


I'm sorry.

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Hey ThatOne. It is probably better that you found out now about her feelings for her Ex.  There are people that get married only to have their spouse return to an Ex.  It happens a lot more than it used to thanks to Facebook.  

As for right now, only the passing of time will improve your mood. Remember you did nothing wrong. Treat yourself to things you enjoy. Indulge a little.  You'll make a comeback.  If she was interested so will someone else someday.  

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