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Why, how & when to Flirt - short video


LaLa
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Watching this, I was thinking of men with SPS. They could "at least" flirt and get better at it - it may be very pleasant as well as useful, because it increases self-confidence and widens positive experiences. But of course, that's just how I imagine it - I don't say it's necessary true or useful for everyone :(

 

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Haha; good question! :D 

Well, I don't have any opportunities; I live quite alone with my husband, not employed, with no friends in the country I'm currently living in. But I had a few good friendships with men and although it wasn't such kind of flirting at all (because that presupposes I would be an attractive girl/woman that someone would want to "be involved with" - and I'm not), I always was sincerely very appreciative of them and it was easy and natural because everybody knew there won't ever be "more" than friendship. I think that although it wouldn't be called flirting, it fulfilled the same "functions" (or some of them) that are mentioned in the video.

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  • 3 weeks later...
On 2/23/2017 at 10:19 AM, LaLa said:

But I had a few good friendships with men and although it wasn't such kind of flirting at all (because that presupposes I would be an attractive girl/woman that someone would want to "be involved with" - and I'm not),

What makes you say that? Do you suffer from one of the many female equivalents to SPS that this messed up society throws at women.

Almost every woman i've been intimate with has had negative body image, mainly about being overweight. Even my wife calls herself "fat" in a demeaning way, and she's rather petite. I told her one time, "you are literally half the size of some women i was with before, and they weren't too fat either," but it seems to do nothing to ease her insecurity. It has never bothered me if a woman i was with was heavy or small breasted or had bad acne. But it bothered them a lot.  And i can totally relate because nothing they can say can convince me that my dick is enough. This society sure does grind our self esteem down into mush.

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On ‎17‎/‎03‎/‎2017 at 10:28 PM, Lodz said:

This society sure does grind our self esteem down into mush.

It can do and it's a brainwashing that starts early, with everything from the airbrushed media to Barbie dolls. What particularly saddens me is the way women will sometimes criticize each other's appearance as well, we should be supporting each other and celebrating our variety, not making life tougher.

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1 hour ago, jazz said:

It can do and it's a brainwashing that starts early, with everything from the airbrushed media to Barbie dolls. What particularly saddens me is the way women will sometimes criticize each other's appearance as well, we should be supporting each other and celebrating our variety, not making life tougher.

Yeah, the temptation to belittle others to make ourselves feel better is a real one. But it doesn't help us, only hurts others. And the cycle continues.

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  • 6 months later...
On 2017-02-23 at 12:52 AM, u.r.what.u.is said:

Do you let yourself flirt, La La?

Hm, I've recently, 'accidentally', seen some videos about flirting and 'discovered' that... even if I "let myself", I wouldn't be able to do it at all! It's so complicated :o . I wouldn't imagine... Hm; I'm lucky I have never had the 'need' to do it... (I'm sorry, this is something quite terrible to post here, at a place where I wanted to encourage some men to flirt! :( . So... I face the dilemma between being honest / open and discouraging. But... I don't believe that people's behaviour would actually be influenced by my posts, so... hopefully this post isn't dangerous / inappropriate.)

Here is a compilation of examples: [I removed the link; it was stupid...]

And here one of many videos that also 'explain' them a bit:

https://youtu.be/0kaR6-MIV8k

But back to your question: To be honest, I also have a tendency to convey to my friends who are men (sorry, I just dislike the 'biological' adjective male in this context) the message that "I'm not a potential danger" (= someone who would botheringly "obsess about" them or would ridiculously try to seduce them), so that they could be sure they wouldn't have to handle some unwelcome "messy" feelings and their expressions. It's because I think that when someone wants just a friend, they can be bothered by the idea that perhaps the friend would start to be seductive and they would then have to search for ways how to kindly refuse etc. At the same time, I'm feeling a bit bad about that, because... I'm not sure I can get it right - what if it was, in some cases, rather (mistakenly!!!) perceived as expression of... something like "you're not attractive enough, don't worry" - ??? That would be quite hurtful :( . (And ridiculously contrary to my "intentions"...)

On 2017-03-17 at 11:28 PM, Lodz said:

What makes you say that?

I'm sorry, Lodz, for not replying to you. I've liked your post(s) and I agree with you. But... I don't really have an answer to this question, although it's an important one. It would require a long, psychoanalysing text to address it properly (and I haven't found the willingness to do that). Because the short answer would just be "I look in the mirror and that's it - I see it." ;) A longer-one would be that all boys I ever knew in each school who ever expressed their 'opinion' about me thought that (they were often laughing at me, teasing me, sometimes quite disgustingly, ... and, as I learned later,  they were also mocking me and laughing behind my back). And to me, it sounded rude and stupid - because one shouldn't say such things to another - but at the same time, I agreed with their opinion very naturally, because I never liked my body. But in my case, it has never been related to "societal standards of beauty" because I always hated those standards anyway. I hated my body (mainly) due to gender dysphoria. (I know; I haven't written much about this issue on this forum, so it might be surprising for some, but... whatever. I can answer potential questions about it, but I wouldn't like to transform this thread into a "chat" about me ;) .)

 

 

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I've been told I'm quite handsome and funny when strangers overcome that "protection barrier"  built up and truly get to know me... You know, sometimes stuff in the likes of  "geez, I wish I was you for a weekend" or "you must have a really hot girlfriend". If they only knew...........

I lost hope and at this point so I genuinely believe I will remain a virgin. Due to my size I just abandoned the idea of one night stands or affairs and now I gave up any chance of a girlfriend or a wife. Intimacy, mostly because of my "girth",  terrifies me to no end. I'm aware is the internet, but I've read, heard and seen that a huge majority of women don't prefer inexperienced guys or let alone virgin guys because "there must be something really off with a guy  if he is past 25 and yet still a virgin".

I once read online  that "more than his size itself, the most difficult thing about dealing with him  was his lack of confidence and how much of a big deal his size was  for him".

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Have you tried a Bathmate? I've just bought one. They're supposed to be good for girth and if you can accept that it's a marathon and not a sprint (direct quote from good looking loser) over the next year you can gain an inch. Mine was on offer for like £54 or something, they're normally more expensive. Check out good looking losers website or he has a bunch of YouTube videos too. I thought fuck it, I've tried everything else, I'm giving it a whirl 😀

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19 hours ago, YOTH said:

Have you tried a Bathmate? I've just bought one. They're supposed to be good for girth and if you can accept that it's a marathon and not a sprint (direct quote from good looking loser) over the next year you can gain an inch. Mine was on offer for like £54 or something, they're normally more expensive. Check out good looking losers website or he has a bunch of YouTube videos too. I thought fuck it, I've tried everything else, I'm giving it a whirl 😀

I cannot accept that it's a marathon. Fuck that.

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I'd be tempted to agree with you tbh, but this one keeps popping up with rave reviews. One of the things people keep mentioning is the Bathmate pump which you can do after a month whilst erect rather than semi which supposedly gives you a noticeable boost in girth for hours afterwards. It was on offer. I've never tried anything like this before, so thought fuck it, I'll give it a go 😀 we'll see in a few months whether I'm raving about it or its collecting dust on top of my wardrobe. I suppose all growth is a marathon, nobody got ripped after one session in the gym, but again, I have obvious reservations. Hey, obsolete. How's things?

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I have to agree, things that sound too good to be true usually are.

I'll patiently wait until everyone around me has tried it and I'm in the land of giant cocks by myself. :icon_eek: Then I will invest. It just seems like a whole lot of effort and, at my size, while an inch is wonderful, it really isn't a game changer.

I need something that guarantees 3 inches or more in length and and two in girth and is permanent without surgery or side effects (and actually works). If you guys find that please let me know! ;)

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