Jump to content
Mental Support Community

Emotionless


Banditgeneral4
 Share

Recommended Posts

I am 32 years old. Over the last couple years I have had my share of ups and downs. 

I have reached a point where it feels like I have no feelings. I honestly can't remember the last time I laughed or cried.

The last time I remember just bawling my eyes out was in 2015 when I got rid of my dog. Recently my mother passed away (we were close since she raised me as a singe parent). 

I was not there when it happened but I remember getting the phone call. That was over a month ago and I've honestly yet to shed a tear. I did feel the sadness of the loss and still feel things whenever I see things that make me think of her.

Recently I've not been able to laugh anymore. I do but it feels forced. I watch movies or shows that used to make me laugh so hard I cried. Now I see things and it's like "it's funny on a level but I can't express it".

Why am I feeling like this? I have an upcoming wedding and I'm afraid this could make her think I am a robot and incapable of expressing emotion.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Welcome to the community, Bandit. I'm so sorry about the loss of your mother.

Do you think your lack of emotion right now could be a reponse to her death? Loss and our response to a significant loss is very personal and unique to each person, I think. It can be a journey with a roller coaster of many different emotions and it can also be numbing at times. I think what is most important is to stand with ourselves, in whatever space we might be in at any given moment, and take care of ourselves through it. 

Possibly it's too difficult to laugh or cry right now? Are you able to connect with your feelings through an activity that you enjoy, or through writing or listening to music? How are things in your life otherwise? The loss of a parent and marriage are both major life events. I hope you can be gentle with yourself through this.

Take care.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I am no 100% sure if my feelings could be a byproduct of her passing or not. I'm sure that it does play a major factor in it but honestly it seems that it started before that. 

In the months leading up to her death things just went south. I lost my job, my home, had been incarcerated for a period. I moved in with my best friend in the world and she has been there for me through everything. She tells me that she's here when I'm not ok anymore. 

I just feel that life has no seasons anymore. It's almost summer but I'm stuck in between seasons. I see the things that used to make me happy or smile (I'm happy but not "happy") and just think "meh it's funny but I can't express it".

My fiance and even my in laws have been a great emotional network but nothing helps it seems.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

It's great that you have a best friend who stands by you through the darkness as well as the light. Support and love can be healing.

It sounds like you have been through a lot recently. Do you think it's possible you could be feeling some depression? Are you able to share your concerns with your girlfriend? What do you think you need right now?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I do share my feelings and concerns with her. She always listens, never judges, and encourages me to talk.

I have been told in recent years that I have depression. I have had bouts of emotional times but this is the first time I can honestly say that I feel nothing. 

I have no idea what I need at this point. I have the best support system I need but nothing seems to work. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

The flatness and lack of emotion you are experiencing could be a part of depression. :( Have you ever spoken to a professional about your struggles?

Maybe it help a bit to get your endorphins going? I think that probably looks different for each person-- for me it's listening to soft music, taking a slow walk in nature, sitting in my pink room...I had a friend whose mood was lifted by running and exercise. What helps, what feels nourishing and/or invigorating to you? You've reached out here, and I'm glad that you did. I hope this can be a first step for you. We're here listening. I hope you feel better.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Hello, b. I'm late here and I don't have an answer to your question either, but it also sounds to me like a symptom of some mental disorder. Depression seems the most obvious (because it's probably the most commun condition that leads to this symptom and you'd experienced several possible triggers before your problem appeared), but perhaps you could try read this (or search for more reliable info) and find out if there's something that sounds probable to you:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Reduced_affect_display

How have you been in the meantime?

What's your experience with mental health professionals? If you haven't found someone helpful, it doesn't mean there's nobody there to help. It just sometimes takes time to find "the right person" :( ...

Take care!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I'd also like to ask you: And have you been complexly checked by a physician? I don't want to frighten you, but some behavioral or emtoitional changes are sometimes triggered by a physical condition, although we hear about the inverse case much more often...

Link to comment
Share on other sites

On 4/5/2017 at 3:51 AM, IrmaJean said:

The flatness and lack of emotion you are experiencing could be a part of depression. :( Have you ever spoken to a professional about your struggles?

Maybe it help a bit to get your endorphins going? I think that probably looks different for each person-- for me it's listening to soft music, taking a slow walk in nature, sitting in my pink room...I had a friend whose mood was lifted by running and exercise. What helps, what feels nourishing and/or invigorating to you? You've reached out here, and I'm glad that you did. I hope this can be a first step for you. We're here listening. I hope you feel better.

I haven't sought out professional help. I have an aversion to professional people. I have one in the family. I have tried the music and have tried reading but I just can't focus on it.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

On 4/7/2017 at 7:03 PM, LaLa said:

Hello, b. I'm late here and I don't have an answer to your question either, but it also sounds to me like a symptom of some mental disorder. Depression seems the most obvious (because it's probably the most commun condition that leads to this symptom and you'd experienced several possible triggers before your problem appeared), but perhaps you could try read this (or search for more reliable info) and find out if there's something that sounds probable to you:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Reduced_affect_display

How have you been in the meantime?

What's your experience with mental health professionals? If you haven't found someone helpful, it doesn't mean there's nobody there to help. It just sometimes takes time to find "the right person" :( ...

Take care!

Upon reading the article it does seem like me. However I've noticed in my talks with a real good friend things seem to change. She is a nurse to an elderly gentleman who is in the end stages of life. Hearing her talk about him and seeing her cry makes me feel bad and has made me shed a tear from time to time but otherwise things haven't changed.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

On 4/12/2017 at 2:25 AM, IrmaJean said:

Difficulty with concentration and focus can also be a symptom of depression. It's good that you have friends you are able to connect with, if even only briefly. I wonder, how is your self talk? Are you able to be kind to and compassionate with yourself?

Actually no. I'm not vey good with myself. I find my self getting frustrated with myself over simple things  (forgetting where my keys, phone, etc are). 

I find myself stumbling over words and forgetting words. I'm not the smartest person in the world but I do have a pretty good vocabulary. But there are times I can't pull words.

It's like I'm always in a fog.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

Loading...
 Share

×
×
  • Create New...